Happy One Year
Fair Warning: This is a long, personal, and very sappy post.
So I’ve come to the realization that it has been about one year since I started using this blog again. The closest date I can find for the beginning is September 2019. This blog had sat dormant since like 2016.
I’m not sure what drew me back to Tumblr but I do know that I was in a uneasy place at the time. I had just lost my college scholarship and was saddled with almost $2,000 in debt. I was taking the Fall Semester off due to all the stress college had caused me over the last 4 semesters. I took time off because I was having constant anxiety attacks over work loads from college. I luckily still had both my jobs but even then I didn’t really have a social life outside of work. My home life was also not very pleasant.
Then I found all these different Youtuber and Youtuber Ego blogs that I started to follow. As well as finding lots of Youtube Fanfic writers and artists. I began interacting with these blogs and eventually in November started making my own posts and reblogging stuff over to my page.
Things started to lighten up for me in Spring, I went back to college and reconnected with one of my friends from college. I was doing ok in the two classes I was taking. Then as everyone knows, Quarantine hit. I had just joined Discord and was in one with my college friend and her friends. Then my long time hated laptop’s hard drive gave out and I lost a lot of old videos. And my depression and anxiety came back with a bite.
I eventually got a new laptop and made some casual friends through the Discord. Though, it still felt like there was a disconnect, like these were my friend’s friends not necessarily my close friends. There still felt like something was missing.
In June/May I learned about a Discord for people who were fans of a specific Fanfic and blog I followed for a while. I thought I’d give it a try. Little did I know this Discord is where I’d make some amazing friends. At first, I was nervous no one would like me or they would think that I was annoying. I was nervous about interacting with people I looked up to. Very quickly I figured out that everybody was just book nerds like me. I soon became more comfortable sharing personal experiences and just joking around with everyone. Heck they even gave me the moniker I now go by on all my socials. Whether it was geeking out over literature, watching silly shows, or causing chaos over random things, I felt like I had found my tribe.
And now somehow I’m at nearly 50 followers with many mutuals and people I call friends on this site. Even some blogs I’d always thought were/are way cooler than I’d ever be.
I just wanna say thank you for giving this loner weirdo a chance. If you told me a year ago or even back in March that I’d have a group of friends that liked and accepted me, I’d think you were pulling my leg.
Growing up I never had a friend group, just one maybe two friends who a lot of the time would throw me aside when they didn’t need me anymore. So having this group of friends, that even if we only know each other online and don’t always chat due to real life happening, means a lot to me.
Happy One Year to this trash blog and lets hope it lasts another.
I’m sorry if this is sappy or overreacting or cringey but I felt the need to put these feelings out into the universe.