Nolan.
Written by Nina a few years after Niks death.
Nolan.
You're stupid bloody idiot, do you know that? You better. Yes, you've got the social skills of a hermit and yes, you seem to ruin practically every party or event you ever go to. But what in the world made you think that for a second, that mattered? Yes, Percy is alright. And fine, Nonnie chose him. Even I don't get why. But you fought for her Nol, you fought to keep her and even if she won't say it, I know it means the world to her that you did that.
I was on my own without Garrick. Yeah, people told me they were going to be there, sure I had friends but you... you were there that first christmas. You made sure I wasn't alone. You held my hand and told me it was alright, you sat with me and ate cold turkey sandwiches on my bed all night because I couldn't sleep. I have never laughed as hard as when you ran into that bloody tree and when Luka... When he went missing you were there to make sure I didn't loose it.
You walked me down the aisle. Not Hu, not Ted, not anyone else in the world I would rather have beside me. You're the brother I never knew, and despite how often I scream and shout at you I hope you never forget that. So, now it's my turn to say sorry.
Sorry. Sorry I never noticed you were breaking from the inside out when you lost Nik, sorry I didn't see that you needed me because I was so trapped in my own little bubble of happiness with Hu and the kids. Sorry I wasn't there to laugh with you when Evie first ran into the coffee table. Sorry I wasn't there to get you so drunk you couldn't think after Non came to visit, and told you about her lot. Sorry I forgot that I wasn't the only one who's hand needed holding every now and again.
I regret a lot of things, but this is the largest one. And sorry probably doesn't fix anything, but I need to say it. Because I have a scar just below my ribs where I nearly died in your arms, and you didn't give up on me.
I can't make loosing Nik right, but I can try and make it hurt less. So tell me what to do to make my apology mean something Nol, please.
Pan. X.