#nio barks

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unpopular opinion maybe but if sam n dean were born women sam wouldn't be the more feminine one of the two and dean wouldn't dress butch. he'd be hyperfem like he is hypermasc. sam would have similar to s1 hair until very very late seasons where he would then let it grow out into a bob. and he would dress the exact same. dean would wear mini skirts and cropped tanktops and boots and then would top it off with dad's leather jacket. and he'd make fun of sam for dressing like a dude.

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supernatural was so good but it would have been better if there were scenes of sam on his knees begging to be purified in a big empty church with no witnesses other than jesus rosary clutched in his hands lightly shaking and shots of stained glass and candles flickering with so little wax hanging onto their last breath until they flicker for the last time and oh dean followed sam he's in the doorway and he's watching he's bearing witness to this. and his brows are furrowed because since when did sammy choose to rest his secrets with god when he's right there, what could he be hiding from him?

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it's at times like this that i really stop and realize that the average supernatural spectator takes everything presented to them at face value and formulates no opinions of their own. from the beginning, it's clear that, oh, dean is the cool brother. he's the older one who would do anything for his brother, sam is the ungrateful one who doesn't appreciate that!

because yeah, apparently, it's selfish to want to leave the terrifying cycle of abuse that you grew up in. it's selfish to crave stability and safety and an education and to make something of your life past hunting. (ESPECIALLY early seasons hunting when they had little to no idea that there were things like angels and lucifer and all that.)

i won't mention how fucked up it was for the writers to specifically make sam's heaven, like, the night he left john and dean or spending thanksgiving with another family. because those are obviously loaded with the intent to make the audience get mad at sam. but it's not that crazy when you realize that one of dean's heavens is a time before sam was even born, when they were safe and he had both of his parents. a life sam never got to experience. heaven forbid sam enjoyed a thanksgiving dinner at a big table with lots of food and people. 😭

and despite ALL of that sam's heaven still isn't complete without his brother being there. HE CAN'T HAVE A HEAVEN WITHOUT DEAN. DESPITE what any of his scenes might be, he literally could not enjoy any of it without his brother being there. and that alone debunks literally anything else you can say. 😭

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thinking about how angel names all end in the same way. (until they ran out of names)

castiel, anabel, gadreel, gabriel, michael, samuel

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anytime i read a wincest fic where they use a condom my immersion is immediately shattered and i begrudgingly close my phone and go to sleep

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there is something so special about finding a new wincestie to follow... it's like i was shattered into a million little pieces, and i finally find another shard, and i gingerly pick it up and place it back where it belongs. i loev you gyuys.....

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mexican sam and dean. john raising them up super catholic, rosaries hung anywhere they'll stay. pictures of saints in wallets and in pockets and on little necklaces, hail marys and prayers and late night visits to confessionals.

john drops them off in random little villages, ranchos no one has ever heard of. they ride in the back of pickup trucks and pick up pesos off the street to buy a little juice box at the corner store. sneaking into cornfields and orchards and chicken coops and taking just enough to sell to the local supermarket clerk who feels bad for them and always gives them a few apples as an extra treat.

mummies and la llorona and chupacabras and long winding unpaved roads with nothing but forest and desert and wilderness on either side. wails of longing mothers and dwendes and owls as bad omens.

rare stays in big cities with massive cathedrals and beaches with white sand and deserts with cactuses so massive they look like angels watching over them.