Mar 17
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Saw a mean of yours. It was about your wife being with other men. How did yall go about talking of it in his with the each other. Every time I try to broach the subject, it comes out wrong.
We eased into it very gradually. It honestly took a year or more before we fully jumped into anything, and that time was mostly talking, fantasizing, and checking in with each other nonstop.
What sparked it was a TV show about swinging on HBO. My wife asked if it was really a thing, we Googled it, found a local club, and decided to check it out purely out of curiosity; as voyeurs. Seeing it in person and talking to people in the lifestyle made it feel real and approachable.
From there, things unfolded slowly over year or more; voyeurs at first, going to local swinger meet & greets talking to others in the lifestyle, then having sex while others watched, then soft swap, full swap with couples, and eventually some FMF and MFM fun. Every step only happened once we felt comfortable and had talked it through a lot. But when we started playing with MFM, seeing how confident and sexy she looked; and realizing just how much it turned me on, was a total lightbulb moment. That spark is what naturally nudged us into a Stag/ Vixen Hotwife dynamic.
The biggest turning point was treating everything as an experiment: “Let’s try it once—if we don’t like it, we don’t do it again.” That mindset took all the pressure off. As our trust grew, we pushed boundaries little by little, which eventually led us to where we are now with a full open marriage and even being open to polyamory with the right person. After our first full swap, though, we were completely hooked on the rush! It was this intoxicating high we couldn’t stop talking about for an entire week. Each of us wearing big Kool-aid smiles for days. LoL Funny enough, it didn’t pull us apart at all; it actually made us want each other even more afterward. We could keep our hands of each other and each other like rabbits too. LoL
If I had to give one piece of advice, it’s this: don’t lead with logistics or fantasies. Lead with curiosity, honesty, and reassurance and a lot of open communications. The conversations matter way more than the acts, especially early on.
Hope that answers your question.