Some time ago I made a post talking about a tweet about Eloise Bridgerton, where the OP said that she hoped that Eloise's friendship with Kate would eventually "teach" her that she can be herself and still do all the things she's firmly opposed to (like being feminine, getting married, having children ecc...) and I talked in general about some things that irk me of the whole NLOG discourse, but now I want expand.
A lot of people complaining about NLOGs say that they have nothing against gnc female characters, they just don't like HOW they are portrayed...and I believe them, but sometimes, the way they talk about the NLOG in question makes me wonder whether they are actually ok with a female character being gender non conforming, because the NLOG growth Is often associated with her overcoming her "internalized misogyny" by learning to love and embrace traditional femininity.
And I mean, sometimes It happens, but come on, you really think that every single tomboy/masc girl Is an internally misogynyst who just has to learn the joy of ✨girly girliness✨ to grow as a person?
And don't tell me I'm making things up, just look at the way people talk about NLOG characters, it's always:
"Ugh, another strong female character who doesn't like dresses and makeup, why cannot women be STRONG and FEMININE ?" (and then the female characters they're complaining about is a completely feminine woman with full makeup wearing *gasp* pants).
"Why cannot female characters be soft, kind and nurturing? Why do they always to act like men?" (Where acting like men means being...assertive, bold, loud, authoritative...yeah).
"I want a female character who rejects femininity because she has been forced to perform It all her life...and then she learns ✨on her own terms✨that actually makeup, pink ,dresses and embroidery are the Best Thing in the World and becomes the Girliest Girl that ever Girled™".
This is the argument that annoys me the most, the idea that a person who has been forced into femininity, if left free, will eventually start to love and perform it but "on her own terms", whatever that means. What if "her own terms" are never performing femininity again? Why do you struggle to understand that some people will NEVER like femininity, no matter how "gently" you push it on them? You really think that femininity Is only empowering and never traumatizing?
And then there's my favorite people *sarcasm alert*, the ones that say that female characters being masculine and acting "like men" (whatever that means) instead of being soft, kind and waifish Is unfeminist because It implies that women must reject femininity to be strong.
See what rubs me wrong? The fact that the complaints about NLOGs center the supposed "unfemininity" of the character, as if It's a bad thing by itself and as if female characters aren't overwhelmingly feminine.
And again, there's a conversation to be had about how femininity Is considered generally frivolous and women are expected to look effortlessly good, but I CANNOT take you seriously when you say that masc women dominate the media, when the icky masc women oppressing girly girls you're complaining about look like this:
ID 1: a picture of princess Peach from Super Mario. She's a girl with long, blonde hair and blue eyes, wearing a bright pink and white racing suit and holding a halberd. She has a determined expression.
ID 2 : a picture of Eloise Bridgerton from Bridgerton. She's a young woman with medium lenght wavy hair, Hazel eyes and white skin. She's wearing a pale green empire waist dress with puffy sleeves. She's standing and holding a book.
ID 3: a picture of Rhaenyra Targaryen from House of the dragon. She's a woman with long, straight light blonde hair, blue eyes and white skin. She's standing and wearing a long, black gown with gold and red embroidery with dragon motifs.
I'm not making up a strawman, I've seen way too many people complaining that alle the above characters are too masculine, and not just whiny conservatives. In fact, talking about HOTD, I find It quite interesting that people are complaining that Rhaenyra Is not feminine enough, but there are less complaints that Baela Is not a tomboy like she was in the book. In fact, I've seen several users say that Baela being more feminine Is better, becausebit shows that WoMeN cAn Be StRoNg AnD FeMiNiNe!!1!1!
It makes me think that your problem Is not feminine female characters being disparaged (as if masculine female characters aren't), but gnc female characters existing at all.
If you say that you have nothing against masc female characters, why would you make learning to love femininity and overcoming misogyny coincide?
Unless you think being uncomfortable with femininity Is misogyny by itself.
It seems to me that you only are ok with masc female characters as long as they return to femininity at the end of their story.
