a/n: scrambling together more thoughts because i just woke up today and had more to say (ps he may be a hint of ooc so lmk what i need to improve on)…
info: gender-neural reader (only referred as ‘you’)!!
ᯓ✦ self-sabotage
ᯓ✦ self-sabotage isn’t something new for johnny, either that depriving himself of daily joys or somehow messing up a seemingly good relationship with devi and now with you.
ᯓ✦ but this time you met him halfway with nothing but patience and the willingness to grow beside him even if you were warned about and seen the things he could do.
ᯓ✦ you were willing to be there and that scared the hell out of him
ᯓ✦ he always tries to find something wrong, anything flawed about you to give him the excuse to feel this way and push you away.
ᯓ✦ but in the end he realizes that it isnt worth taking you apart to see whats wrong and it might just be him in the end among others he deemed not worth living.
ᯓ✦ there were even points in his crazed mind that maybe he will just kill you to get it out of the way but the second he sees your face to do so all of that goes away in an instant.
ᯓ✦ and there are nights where you’ve slept on his bed and he just laid there beside you just watching.
ᯓ✦ just watching your features move ever so slightly as if waiting for something to happen, but it never did when morning arrived.
ᯓ✦ please don’t mention how it looked like johnny was crying the entire night before you woke up, it’s a topic he doesn’t want to bring up at all yet.
ᯓ✦ johnny even hoped in the back of his mind that you’d be the one leaving, he believed that you deserved someone much less manic than he is, you’ve seen what he’s done and still willing to do.
ᯓ✦ but he watches you stay by his side anyway.
ᯓ✦ you give him more reasons for these stupid feelings to grow larger than he wanted them too.
ᯓ✦ with the amount of blood on his hands from the things he’s done and will do in the future, you’re the only normalcy in his life and he’s scared to loose it.
ᯓ✦ almost as scared to keep you there.
ᯓ✦ to keep that normalcy.
ᯓ✦ and not let the self-sabotage get to his head like his insanity.
hello! are you still in the mood to write for JTHM? would love to see an example of Nny biting/marking someone. you can decide how spicy you want the scene to be... ;) thank you for writing him btw, you do a stellar job of it! appreciate u sm!!! <3
JOHNNY C X FEM!READER: Experimenting
((AHHHHHH YOU'RE TOO NICE TYSM! I would love to write more JTHM content for you! No smut for this chapter but if you want a continuation to this I might be able to oblige ;] ))
You were laying in bed after a long day of cleaning up Nny's home, listening to the dissonant echoes of screams and cries that continuously emanated from the basement, though of course you didn't dare go down there. It wasn't your issue yet, after all.
Once Nny emerged from the dark depths of the basement and cleaned himself up, taking in the cleaner area around him, he had found you sitting on the couch with your phone in hand scrolling through the apps with barely a care in the world. Nny envied you, your attitude, so loving, so sweet, so gentle. And all for a man like him. And he wanted to show you how much he appreciated it, but his mind couldn't quite land on a way of how, he's already allowed to to touch him, hold his hand, kiss him, those things would have less meaning having already stepped into that territory of the relationship. Until an idea made it's way into his twisted mind, something most likely spawned from his homicidal murderous side of thinking; what if he marked you? Left something on you that would obviously heal, he doesn't want to hurt you that bad. But something that'll show everyone that you're his lover. Nobody else's. The thought was so foreign and out of pocket he physically straightened, looking down for a moment in ponder. As if that thought wasn't his own, but nevertheless he did have to admit the thought was an interesting one, and one that he supposed he could stomach experimenting with.
"(Y/n)?" He started, seeing you turn around quickly in response, he took a finalizing exhale, as he had mentally decided to himself that he really wanted to do this.
"Can I meet you in our room for a moment? I have... Something I want to try with you." His words were curt yet gentle as you nodded, following him through the twisty halls up and into your room. As soon as he closed the door and made sure it was locked you felt him guide you to the bed, gently climbing over you as you smirked at him.
"What's this all about, Nny?" You asked with a chuckle, causing him to look away with an eye roll as he responded.
"I want to try something to see if we like it. That's it." You tilt your head at the response, giving Nny the opening to dip his head into the crook of your neck, pressing light kisses to your collarbone, earning a shiver from you as he finally succumbs to the urges, biting harshly on your neck, causing a surprised whimper from you as he quickly pulls away, looking at you.
"Did you like that?" His question was beheld in honesty as his tone remained light. You nodded, hearing him grunt responsively, he didn't seem to hate the taste of your flesh, he dipped his head back down, leaving bite after bite across your neck, seeming to get lost in the way your skin tasted. He felt such a confused dominance over you, as he usually wasn't so intimate like this, nor did he ever really enjoy the thought of tasting another person's flesh like this. But maybe if he was enjoying this, maybe he'd enjoy other tastes as well? The thoughts ran rampant in his mind as he let his intrusive thoughts take over, seeing how much you enjoyed his biting and marking. His thoughts drifted momentarily back into psychosis, wanting to taste more, his bites slowly getting harder and rougher as he slowly lost his control over himself, succumbing to the desires that had been initially fleeting, and your moans and whimpers weren't exactly helping his case. Nny grips your hips possessively, biting harshly on one of your sensitive spots as you screamed in a mix of pain and pleasure, feeling a warm liquid seep from the bite wound. Nny groaned in satisfaction upon tasting your blood as he quickly regained control of himself, his thoughts, and pulls back once more looking over what he's done to your now bruised neck. He fought off a sadistic smirk as he pushed the sadism aside.
"That didn't hurt too bad, did it? I'll get you patched up and grab you a baggy turtleneck so you can hide those." With that he gets up, leaving you to process what in the living hell just happened. But you did know one thing: You really wanted him to do that again.
((Finally done! Jeez this was rotting in my drafts for gods know how long- anyways, I hope that sufficed for your ask! Sorry Nny got a bit OOC near the middle my brain blast was losing it's grip on me there lol))
when you have the time could i possibly get headcanons of johnny from jthm with a pastel s/o whose okay with him killing but wants to help him with his psychosis?
Sure! Thank you for sending in your request!
He’s weary at first. He doesn’t completely trust his s/o and is even more skeptical of them. If they truly liked him they wouldn’t want to change him, right?
Well, If you’re trying to change something you don’t like, he’ll just have to do the same. What’s with those pastel colors, huh?
No. He doesn’t want to change you, so he stops and just kind of tries to keep his cool, maybe hear you out.
After enough convincing, he’ll let you help a little, depending on HOW you plan on helping him.
He’ll do other things to help his mental health, but he has to kill, otherwise the monster in the wall will get out, so no matter what you do, that part of him stays. Even if you both don’t like it much.
After a while he’ll get used to it, but you’ll have to get used to sudden outbursts...maybe even learn a little bit of self defense....
Omg cuddling/kissing head cannons for nny please 😞
a gentle touch
a/n: thank you for this anon, my life is complete whenever i’m writing for nny…
info: gender-neutral reader as you’re only referred as “you”.
ᯓ✦ it takes a good while until nny finally lets himself touch you or you touch him, and even then his hands can’t help but shake whenever he does touch you.
ᯓ✦ but he loves how patient you are with him and don’t force him to do something he feels he isn’t ready for yet, that’s what he likes about you, amongst other things.
ᯓ✦ so when the day finally comes where you both laid on his bed facing each other, johnny felt overwhelmed while his arms snaked around your body and hold you close to his chest.
ᯓ✦ that’s when you can hear how fast his heart beat is going, man johnny feels like he’s gonna finally die from this but yet he doesn’t.
ᯓ✦ no matter how many times he might’ve said that he isn’t enjoying this one bit, his actions say otherwise since his arms pull you closer as his face is buried in your hair from what it seemed like instinct he doesn’t remember having.
ᯓ✦ and the second you decide to wrap your arms around him in return, all his complaints go silent completely before he let out an audible shaky sigh.
ᯓ✦ before you know it johnny pulled away slightly just to look at you while a open hand shakily placed itself on your cheek as if he’s scared to infect you someway somehow.
ᯓ “why do i feel weird…this feels weird…”
ᯓ “we could stop if you really wan-“
ᯓ “absolutely not.”
ᯓ✦ he was almost basically the same way when he came around to wanting to kiss you.
ᯓ✦ one day he would just stare at you for long periods of a time, but you got used to it since that wouldn’t be the first time he’d done something like that in the time you two were together.
ᯓ✦ but what was weird is that he stop responding after awhile whenever you’d talk to him which felt unlike him.
ᯓ “are you okay, nny?”
ᯓ✦ silence and a simple nod in acknowledgement was all he gave you while he continued to stare and you swore you could hear his heart beat or maybe it was yours, you weren’t entirely sure.
ᯓ✦ all you could focus on was how his hand took yours, feeling them with a tiny bit of shake that you came to assume was when he was nervous about something.
ᯓ✦ and with that same monotone tone in his voice he always has, he asked if he could kiss you, like for real since before this moment he’d only would restrict himself to kissing your cheek and nothing more.
ᯓ✦ the moment you told him yes, he is filled with the same nervousness that filled him when he first realized he liked you, no, loved you. so he wants to savor this moment forever without trying to kill you.
ᯓ✦ then he did so, kissed you on the lips with the gentleness he always promised you, he swore he could feel his insides melting away at the feeling, it made him happy.
ᯓ✦ so you were concerned when you pulled away and saw tears basically streaming from his eyes, so you pulled him into a hug which he fully allowed as he was busy trying to process the amount of joy he felt he was blessed to feel without anything telling him otherwise.
ᯓ✦ and ever since then, whenever he has to leave to do what he needs to do, he always asks for a kiss before he does so that’d be at least have a small joy he could hold on too until he comes back.
ᯓ✦ that is the one and only joys he’d allow himself to indulge in, that joy being with you.
a/n: i’ve barely seen anything x readers with johnny so it’s time to take it into my own hands with the many thoughts i had while at work…
info: gender-neutral reader!
ᯓ✦ for you to met johnny it would’ve been by complete chance, you both just popped into each others life one day and just co-existed within each others day to day.
ᯓ✦ but for you two to start dating? it was a completely other story.
ᯓ✦ his walls are too far up and strong, maybe it was the itching fear of something he already knows will happen.
ᯓ✦ of you very potentially meeting your end by his bloody hands.
ᯓ✦ but lots of patience and reassurance is key (plus a bit of self defense just in case)
ᯓ✦ nny’s memories aren’t honestly that great at certain extent but he tries so damn hard to remember what your likes are when it comes to food, trinkets, or just anything.
ᯓ✦ he’s trying so hard and it shows.
ᯓ✦ just be aware that before he warms up completely he’ll stand a reasonable distance from you and just stare, either that’s when you two hang out or just in general.
ᯓ✦ it’s a little creepy but you just learned it’s a way for him to admire you from afar without his emotions getting to his head (or that’s at least how he justifies it to you and in his head).
ᯓ✦ but when he ultimately opens his walls more it becomes obvious.
ᯓ✦ like when his body gravitates towards yours more often to the point the space between you both completely closes more often than not.
ᯓ✦ and one night where he invited you out with him was the night where he decided to initiate full physical contact, and he felt more overwhelmed about it than he hoped when you two finally held hands.
ᯓ✦ oh dear is his hand shaking?
ᯓ✦ there was even another night where he invited you over to his place which lead to you two having a first kiss (once again overwhelming johnny with emotion)
ᯓ✦ and to his surprise those intense emotions didn’t get any further since you were laying beside him that same night talking away.
ᯓ✦ he wants to indulge into more things like that with you.
ᯓ✦ yet at the same time he’s scared of allowing himself such pleasures.
