#no contol

[echoedsparks]

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[barbxo1d]

KENDRAWCANDRAW PRESENTS: NO CONTROL

[honeycraved]

REBLOG IF LOUIS MADE YOU HIS BITCH YET AGAIN

[my1disjustperfect]

Strong

I never knew how strong i was, until being strong was the only choice i had left. I know i can get through this with the help of my angels 

onedirection changed my life, thank you so much for giving me something to fight for 

[asparagusstalk]

ok me too playing no control twice in a row same

[madbrokkoli]

You can't control your thoughts But your mouth

[decamilla]

Having no control

I like to be sure of things. Whether it’s knowing what kind of breakfast I am going to have tomorrow, whether or not the coffee I ordered is going to be good, what I want to do this summer, all the way to the point of what my life is going to be like in 10 years. Huge change in scale I know, but that really is the type of person I am. I like to be in control of my life. I mean who doesn’t? I’m not going to lie, it has been a rough, and I mean rough, couple of weeks since being back in Flagstaff. So much has been going through my head that I have been having trouble perceiving what is a truth and what is a lie. There have been some scary moments when I found my anxiety consuming me to the point where I was having constant anxiety attacks. I started believing in the constant thought that Is Flagstaff really the right place for me? It extremely sucks and is scary having this thought go through your head almost 20 times a day when you’re a part of an amazing community, starting a new semester of leading, and starting a new semester of school. With this kind of thought it is so easy just to tune out and get lost in the chaos trying to control my life. It even got to the point where I was filling out applications for transferring schools. In my heart I was saying “No, I don’t want to transfer schools.”, but the enemy was filling my head with “Yes, leaving is the best choice for you.” Guys, the enemy sucks. The enemy truly sucks. I HATE thinking that if I have control of my life that everything will be better, that the grass WILL be greener once I step foot on the other side. As you can see, I was bringing a lot with me to California for our annual Young Life leader retreat this past weekend..   I absolutely LOVE leading and I LOVE my team. Leading Wyldlife is changing my life every day and I absolutely HATE how the enemy can seep into the things you love most and twist it into lies. I was completely nervous about this leader retreat. I was scared of not knowing whether or not I would find out the answer to the question that has been filling my head for a while. I was scared for not having control of my life. But you know what’s great? God. He’s a tricky fella (in a good way) because that first night when we were all together, the speaker said these words to everyone, but I could really feel him speaking to me, “You have NO control whatsoever”. Three years of following Christ I have heard these words spoken to me many times. And I’ve agreed and disagreed to this statement many times. I’ve heard the same response over and over, you just have to trust in the Lord. Which is absolutely true but usually that response always just goes over my head. Because it is hard, especially for me. But for some reason at that moment, I just felt the Lord completely root this statement into me. I have NO control in anything. I have no control in changing my past. I have no control whether or not my Wyldlife girls will choose to follow Christ. I have no control in my life. At all. Period. That’s it. And being the type of person I am, when I usually hear this statement I cringe a little because I LOVE BEING IN CONTROL. I will always be that type of person. And sometimes, like the ocean, I will recede back and say no, I want control in my life. Because that’s how we are. We are not perfect. We are nowhere near perfect. We sin. But the GREATEST thing is that although I will recede back, Jesus doesn’t and that is something I cannot control. I cannot control His unconditional love for me. How BEAUTIFUL of a statement is that?! No matter what, as cheesy as it may sound, His love for me and will to fight for me is uncontrollable and unfathomable. Once the speaker said I have no control in my life, I couldn’t help but think he’s right. I have no control. I have no control in the greatest love story I will ever be a part. Because it is all Him. It is all Jesus and His love will always transcend even in the darkest of moments. Sorry if this post is all over or if it is “so cheesy”, but for once, it feels so peaceful to not be control. As always God is good!