Warnings: Angry counter punching, self loathing, family abandonment issues (mentioned), suicidal attitude (not caring whether you live or die)
Author's Note: I spent my sleeping time writing this instead. I should not be up @ 3:40 in the morning. I HAVE SCHOOL IN A FEW HOURS AGHH. I'm being so serious when I say I really want feedback on this. Please be honest with me. I can handle criticism. Other than that, I hope this what you might consider good content. Enjoy!
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"You can't say shit like that and expect me not to worry about you." He stood opposite of you in the kitchen, only the island counter between you. Davey's face was bright pink. Tears welled in his eyes.
Something inside of you was breaking. It wasn't just your heart either. "What would you have me do then? Hmm, David?" Your breathing had become less steady with each passing second. You turned away from him. "Tell you that I'm fine? Put on a smile? Pretend I still have a life worth living?" A surge of unfiltered fury washed over you and you lost control. Slamming your fists on the marble counter beside the sink as hard as you could repeatedly-not caring if you hurt yourself-as you spoke through your tears. "I've wasted away to nothing. My family has left me! I drive everyone away and I loathe myself for it! No one loves a monster. The world has turned it's back on (Y/F/N) (Y/L/N)! And I don't blame it! I'VE GOT NOTHING LEFT-"
Davey came up from behind you as he grabbed your arms and restrained you from doing any more harm to your body. He locked his arms tightly. "(Y/N)," his voice was shaking from how much your words broke his heart.
"I couldn't care less what happens to me!" You fought hard against Davey's grip, but he was stronger than he looked.
A trail of tears streamed down Davey's face as he held you. His voice was reduced to a whisper for fear he may start to sob. "(Y/N), please." He didn't let you go as you struggled in his grip. He wouldn't release his hold on you until you grew too tired to self-inflict any further damage. Even then, he'd never let you go.
Your anger finally subsided. You slumped to the ground, weeping in his arms. He loosened his grip. You turned around to face him. The two of you were an absolute mess. His lip quivered as he tried desperately to regain his composure.
Davey gently cupped your face as his thumb smoothed your cheek. "Listen to me," he took a deep breath and gazed into your eyes lovingly, "It hurts me too much to see you in pain like this. You are not your past. You are not the sum of your troubles. You're an amazing person with so much to offer the world. You have beauty that goes beyond what you see in a mirror. Nothing could ever change my mind about that. And I've kept it to myself for far longer than I should've, but I need you to know that someone loves you."
Davey held your hand with his free one. "I need you to know that I love you, (Y/N). More than anything else. I've loved you since the day I first met you; and, I will never stop loving you no matter what."
Now, there was only silence between the two of you. Both of you on the kitchen floor. Your lips spread into a weak smile. "I love you." Davey leaned into you and the two of you shared a kiss that stopped the tears. There was no more crying. Each of you pulled the other as close as you could, still lip-locked. You were no longer afraid.
“Good morning, Rhi!” Roman said to you in a far-too-perky manner for the time of the morning - even if it was Friday.
“Erm…good morning.” you replied, climbing into the car before struggling to fasten your seat belt. Roman took your coffee flask from you whilst you buckled up.
“Have you seen this morning who your boyfriend is linked to?” He asked, smirking.
“Ha! Who is it now? Some random girl I expect.” You replied, laughing.
“Well, it’s you actually!” He smiled.
You nearly spat your coffee all over him and yourself.
“Me?!” You asked, feeling your body tense and a sick feeling rise in your gut.
“Yeah, you! He said in an interview in Japan that you were his celebrity crush.”
“Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! What is he playing at?!” you whispered.
“Oh, come on. It was bound to come out soon enough. I mean, you’ve been together almost a year.” He said, not understanding why you were so upset by it.
“I know…I just…I don’t think I can deal with it being public.” you replied with a sigh.
What had possessed him to say that? Then, once Roman had shown you the interview, you knew why. It was a quick fire round of questions and he was kicking a football up in the air at the same time. The idea being that the person would be distracted fully from the question and answer honestly. And he had.
Niall had practically outed your relationship.
It’s not that you were ashamed of it - and some people did know. Roman, for one, and a few close friends as well as both your families. Working the Capital One Breakfast Show with Roman everyday meant that he had noticed a significant change in your mood around the time you’d started dating Niall. He knew something was up with you and pinpointed it to being that you were obviously getting great sex. That’s when you had told him that you’d been seeing Niall for a few months. If you were honest after he’d asked you for your number at The Summertime Ball last June, you didn’t expect Niall to call. And when he did call you, you hadn’t expected him to ask you out. But, almost a year later, you were still together and had fallen in love.
You quickly got out your phone and typed a message to Niall. Though, you knew he wouldn’t reply since he would be on his way home from Japan. He’d been out touring in Australia and Asia for 3 weeks now.
“Oh god! Everyone’s going to be talking about us.” You said, resting your head back against your seat.
“No they won’t. It’s fine. No one probably knows.”
“You know! You read it this morning!”
“Look…I’m not going to mention it on the show - and if anyone says anything to you, just laugh it off.”
“Ok.”
“He’s getting back today, isn’t he?”
“Yeah. He should have landed by now, actually.” You replied, checking your watch.
“You should probably discuss this with him later. I honestly don’t know how you two have managed to keep it hidden for so long.” He smiled, shaking his head.
This was true. You’d never imagined it would stay a secret this long. You’d been working at Capital One for three years now and working along side Roman for two of those. You weren’t particularly well known, but did occasionally get recognised. One of the perks of radio was people only knew your voice. However, since you had been assisting Roman on the breakfast show, you’d appeared on his Instagram almost daily. Plus, you helped present and interview people at the annual Summertime Ball, which is where you’d met Niall.
You’d been instantly attracted to him. Who wasn’t?! He was absolutely gorgeous. He literally charmed the pants off you. You’d done a few interviews with him and hung out back stage laughing with him and his band. Eventually, he managed to get you alone and asked, “Can I maybe get your number?” You mumbled yes, completely baffled by the whole thing.
Your first date had been at a restaurant in the city and you’d arrived separately so you weren’t seen. It had been an amazing first date: great food and company. The conversation flowed easily at dinner, but when he’d dropped you off at your flat, an awkward chat had occurred.
“So I guess this is goodnight then?” He asked, smiling, his hands in his pockets.
“Yeah. I suppose it is.” You smiled back.
You were desperate for him to kiss you and you weren’t sure if he would. His blue eyes had glanced between your eyes and your lips a few times and you blushed. He leaned in and kissed you softly and you melted into his arms on your doorstep.
Fast forward almost a year and you’d managed numerous dates. You’d been to his LA house three times, met his family in Ireland, and even traveled to Portugal together. And you’d never been spotted by fans. You were both really good at not being seen together and it had become second nature to you.
Your cab pulled up outside the studios and you and Roman headed inside to get set up for your show. The sun was beginning to rise as you sat at your desk and finished another coffee.
Would it be so bad if people found out about your relationship? You’d both agreed it was best to keep it under wraps - but did he still feel that way? You definitely needed to talk to him later.
You opened up your Twitter and noticed a few mentions of the interview, but not much else - and the same when you looked at your IG. You were hoping that the fact that Rhiannon Jones was probably a common name - and that Roman was the main presenter of the show - meant no one would click.
No one in the office mentioned it during the show. But, in the meeting after the show, one of the runners asked if you’d heard about the interview. You said that Roman had told you and brushed it off as nothing.
You couldn’t wait to get home that afternoon. You arrived back at your place by 2pm and quickly grabbed a late lunch. Niall texted you saying that he had slept a bit and was coming over at 3 - and that he wanted to talk to you about stuff.
Stuff?
What was stuff? You hoped that the attention the interview had brought didn’t make him think that you should end things. Your mind was running a million miles an hour as you showered and changed. You pulled on some leggings and a top before tying up your hair in a messy bun. You’d been pacing around the living room for what seemed like hours when he knocked on your door.
You opened it to find him standing there in his comfy clothes and a cap. He’d brought his over night bag, which you saw as a good sign. His smile beamed and you smiled back as he walked across the threshold and pulled you close to him. He walked you backwards holding tightly onto your hip before kicking the door closed and dumping his bag beside him.
“Mmmmm…I missed you so much.” He whispered as he wrapped both his arms around your waist and kissed you. You had missed him to and your hands found their way to his head and you pulled off his cap, flinging it to the floor. One of your favourite things to do was to play with his hair; there was something so good about running your fingers through his thick locks.
He loved it when you tugged on it while kissing and especially during sex.
He moved his lips down to your neck and you whispered back. “Missed you too.”
He kissed along your neck and back up to your mouth. Resting his forehead against yours as he looked at you. Both of you smiling like idiots.
“As much as I want to take you to your bed right now and show you exactly how much I’ve missed you, we should probably talk first.” He said smirking.
You exhaled deeply. You’d been worried about this chat, but knowing that he wasn’t about to end it eased your worry somewhat.
“Come on. Let’s get a coffee.” You said, pulling away from him. His hands never left your hips as you turned and walked into the kitchen. He stroked across your back gently with his thumbs as you filled the kettle.
“So I slipped up slightly!” He chuckled.
“Yeah. Just slightly.” You chuckled back.
“Are you mad with me?” He asked nervously.
“No. Should I be?”
“No. It’s just…I know you didn’t want people to find out.”
“Well, you don’t either. I just am afraid about what people will say about me…about us. I’m torn between wanting to be more open - and being proud to be the one who gets to hold your hand - and then thinking it would be easier to just keep it a secret longer.”
“Yeah, I know… but now I’m wondering if we should maybe be more open. I’m not afraid anymore.”
“Are you sure? I mean, I don’t need you to tell people. I know how much you hate when people speculate about who you’re dating.”
“We are hardly just dating, petal. This isn’t a fling. We are in a relationship together. I love you.”
You blushed at his words, turned towards the mugs, and began pouring the coffee into them. You said you loved each other roughly 4 months into your relationship. A few weeks later, during a drunken night alone, you both declared that you’d both loved each other for a while, but were too scared to say anything. You smiled as you remembered the night he’d told you he loved you for the first time.
You’d arrived in Dublin on an early flight. Niall had gone the night before. Niall’s cousin had come to pick you up and took you to back to Mullingar. It was the first time you had met his family and they couldn’t have been more welcoming. His Mum had embraced you and said how happy she was to finally be meeting you. You were only staying a couple of days, deciding to keep a low profile and just stay at the house - only venturing out to have dinner at Niall’s Dads house.
You were in the ensuite bathroom when he said it, both of you brushing your teeth and getting ready for bed.
“Think its safe to say my family absolutely love you, Petal.”
“Do you think?”
“Yeah, but not a such as me.” He replied as he wiped his hands on a towel.
You looked up at him not sure how much you should read into what he had just said. He looked nervous. Had he meant it? You knew you loved him. You’d known for weeks and were fully prepared to say it back. You stood staring at each other for a few seconds before he leaned in and kissed you. His hands gripped your hips, thumbs stroked across your exposed tummy. He ran his tongue across your lip seeking entrance to your mouth and you didn’t hesitate to allow him in. You pulled away desperately trying to catch your breath when he whispered it, “I love you, Rhiannon.”
You took in a sharp breath relishing in how good it felt to hear him say it and you didn’t hesitate to reply “I love you too, Niall” and then you kissed him again. You’d tumbled into bed that night and made love to each other, slow and steady both wanting to show the other exactly how you felt.
As you stood making the coffee blushing at his declaration of love to you, he wrapped his arms around you and snuck his head into the crook of your neck placing a kiss on your cheek.
“Was thinking maybe we could talk about moving in together.” He whispered.
You stopped what you were doing and turned around to face him. You nervously bit your lip as you wrapped your arms around his neck again.
“Really?” You asked him nervously.
“Yes, really. I love you, Rhi, and want to wake up every day with you. I want you to be there when I get home.”
“I want that too.” You replied as you kissed him.
“So no more hiding?”
“No more hiding.”
You kissed him again before pulling him as close as you could. The kiss deepened and you wanted him more than you ever had before. He bent his knees and lowered his hands to your bum, pulling you up to sit on the counter, settling between your legs.
A small moan escaped your lips as you felt him harden against your centre.
“I suddenly don’t want a coffee anymore.” he growled and lifted you up so your legs were wrapped around him and he walked you to your bedroom.
As desperate as you were for each other, you took your time that afternoon. Taking things slowly and trembling underneath him as he drew out a mind-blowing orgasm. You fit so well together and you knew that this was something serious. You loved him with all your heart. You laid there in each others arms watching the sun set across the city.
“So, what do you think about moving in with me?” He asked, nervously running his fingers gently up and down your arm.
“Are you sure you want me to?” You replied not looking up from your position of laying across his chest.
“Well, I mean…we don’t have to if you don’t want to.”
“Ni, I’d love to move in with you.” You said, lifting your head to meet his gaze. “Just don’t want you to think you have to ask me because of us going public.”
“No…it’s nothing to do with going public. I’ve been thinking about it for a while actually. Hate you being here on your own without a security door. I know it’s silly but I worry about you all the time.”
You giggled a little bit.
“What?” He smiled, “Don’t laugh.”
“Sorry, babe, but you know I actually live in a nice area of the city…low crime rate - it’s why I picked it even though the rent is high.”
“That’s another thing. I don’t want you spending your money on rent anymore. Want your money to be spent on things you want.”
“Lets not start the rent chat again.”
He’d been trying to pay your rent on your one bed flat for about 6 months now and you’d refused every time. You didn’t want Niall for his money. He knew that, but you still felt uneasy about it. You’d even caught him trying to get your bank account number from your purse to pay money into your account. You’d had an argument about it, but had great make up sex after.
“If I move in, then I’m paying my way.”
“Well, you can’t because I don’t have a mortgage.”
“Well I’ll give you money for bills and I’ll buy groceries then.” You argued.
“No you will not! I’ll sort out a joint account for things like that.”
“Joint account?!” You said, smiling.
“Yeah - for food and house stuff.”
“You do know I’m not a housewife from the 50s right?”
He laughed. “Well I have a cleaner, so you don’t need to worry about that.”
“Good. I hate cleaning!”
“So it’s settled then?” He asked.
“Yep. I’ll move in with you.” You replied, lifting up your head from his chest and kissing him.
His hand reached up and he cupped your face. “Love you, Rhi.” He whispered.
“Love you to Ni.”
You woke the next morning wrapped up with Niall. He was awake already and had been scrolling through his phone. When he realised you were awake, he put his phone down and turned towards you. “Morning Petal” he said as he snuggled down under the covers with you.
“Mmmm. morning babe.”
“What’s the plan for today?” He asked.
“Didn’t really make any as I wasn’t sure what you’d want to do. Need to go buy food at some point.”
“Well, I have a plan.” He said.
“Yeah?” You asked.
“Yeah. It involves being naked all day!”
“Even in the supermarket?” You said, chuckling.
“That’s not something I’m really into.” he chuckled.
You laughed with him and snuggled in closer.
“Lets just lay here for a bit. I’m not ready to get up just yet.” You whispered as you ran your fingers through his coarse chest hair. You moved a finger across to his nipple and started circling it before moving your hand down his chest and stomach. He hissed as your hand got closer to where he wanted it and you found him already ridiculously hard.
“Babe.” He growled as your lips found his neck and you stoked across his length.
“Mmmmm” you hummed against his skin.
“Fuck! I need you so much.” He moaned and eased you back onto the bed and moved his body on top of you. He kissed you hard and you wrapped your arms around his body and opened your legs to invite him in. His cock rubbed against your clit and you moaned against his mouth. “You like that?” He mumbled. “God Yes.” You replied in between kisses.
He rocked his hips back and forth before he slid inside you. Was it even possible for it to feel so fucking good like this all the time? Your love for him seemed to deepen every day. Moving in together was a massive step, but it wasn’t scary anymore. You weren’t afraid anymore of how things were moving forward. You’d stayed awake last night talking into the small hours. Talking about what you wanted to do together. A future was being planned.
His thrusts were steady as he moved in and out of you. His eyes never left yours and he left kisses across your lips and cheeks never faltering his pace.
“Can’t wait for you to move in and be with me always.” He whispered.
God this boy said all the right things didn’t he?
“I can’t wait either Ni.” You replied nudging your nose against his before gasping as his cock hit the soft spot that you knew would tip you over the edge.
Realising what he’d done, he continued to thrust against that spot causing you to gasp again at the butterflies in your tummy, the build up of heat about to tumble you over the edge.
“Fuck…you look so good! Cum for me, Rhi.” He mumbled as he thrust harder and harder. You clenched around him and came hard at his words. Pulsing against him as he thrust one last time and released himself inside you with a growl.
You loved it when you came together. Loved how you reached that peak at the same time. You collapsed beside each other and held each other close. Pure contentment.
Two weeks had passed since Niall had returned to London. He’d arrived at yours that Saturday morning with another load of boxes for you. Packing really was the most mundane thing. Your little one bedroom flat was looking a bit sad for itself now. You’d donated your sofa and some other bits to the local charity furniture shop as you wouldn’t be needing them. You weren’t really one to hoard stuff so wouldn’t be moving that much stuff with you to Niall’s.
“Happy anniversary, Petal.” He said as he kissed you hello.
“Happy anniversary to you.” You replied, smiling.
“Got you a present.” He said, handing you a small box.
“Thought we said no presents. Just dinner!“
"I know, but I couldn’t help it!”
“Get some self control, Ni!” You laughed, taking the box from him.
“I can never do that with you. It’s only a small thing, anyway.”
You shook your head and then opened the box to find a key attached to a small key chain in the shape of a heart.
“A key to your apartment.” You smiled.
“No a key to our apartment.” He smiled back.
You were packing up a box in the bedroom a little while later. Niall had laid back on your bed playing on his phone. Your phone beeped signalling a notification.
Niall Horan has tagged you in a post.
“Ni…..what have you tagged me in on IG?” You asked, raising your eyebrows and opening the app.
You looked at his post and gasped before looking over at him. There, in black and white, was a photo of you both from your last trip to L.A. sitting in the hammock in his garden having an afternoon cuddle. The caption said
“happy anniversary @ rhiannonjones91 love you more each day. X”
Then he’d done the hastag one year.
You looked at him and smirked “Well, that’s one way to get it out in the open.”
“Not afraid anymore, remember? And we said no more hiding.”
“People are going to go crazy.” You said, shaking your head.
“Don’t care.” He replied, reaching up to you and pulling you down on top of him.
“Ni.” You giggled, “I’m suppose to be packing.”
“But I need a kiss.” he pouted.
“Can’t resist that pout.” You replied, kissing him.
“Seen this morning who your boyfriend is linked to?” He asked smirking.
“Ha! Who is it now, some random girl I expect?” You replied laughing.
“Well it’s you actually!” He smiled.
You nearly spat your coffee all over him and yourself.
"So no more hiding?"
"No more hiding."
You kissed him again before pulling him as close as you could. The kiss deepened and you wanted him more than you ever had before. He bent his knees and lowered his hands to your bum pulling you up to sit on the counter settling himself between your legs.
