(It's not Wednesday, I don't care)
Hello friends! Long time no write. I wanted to share a snippet of a fic I've been really inspired by. I've had this idea for a while about Sarah being upset about the Delancey's attack and finally deciding to do something about it. This is a snippet of the conversation she has with Esther as she thinks it over.
“That’s not fair. Why does a girl get ridicule for being attacked, but a boy can do whatever he pleases?”
“Why are you asking about this now, Sarah? Did something happen?” Esther asked, and, Sarah noted, avoidied her question.
“No, it’s just not fair that boys can go out alone, or at night, without worrying about being attacked.”
Esther fixed her with a critical eye, “And nothing happened today?”
She shook her head, “I’m just still upset about what happened this summer.”
She searched her eyes, reaching a hand across the table to grasp hers. She knew about the incident with the Delanceys, of course, but Sarah had hardly mentioned it since then.
“Are you afraid they’ll come back?”
“David says he hasn’t seem them. I just- I want to live my life without looking over my shoulder. I want to be able to take care of myself, and Les, if I have to.”
Esther petted Sarah’s hand and she felt the rest of the anger fade into something like sadness.
“You did take care of Les, sweetheart, you were both okay after.”
“David and Jack took care of us. I couldn’t do anything. I want to be able to do something.”
“You keep yourself safe and out of harm’s way. You always act smartly. That is something.”
She pulled away from her grasp and stood, pacing the small kitchen, “That isn’t anything. I don’t want to worry about avoiding problems. I want to be able to do something for myself if trouble finds me.”
“Maybe we can think of something my dear, but I fear you’ll never live the same life as David, with the same freedoms.”
“That isn’t fair, Momma,” she said in frustration, “if David could change everything with his strike, why can’t we change how it is for women?”
Esther took a deep breath and Sarah saw her weigh her words. It was usually Mayer who got into these big discussions about their place in the world, her mother may be out of her depth. “That is certainly a tall order. David and Jack changed one company within one industry, and yes, it is having ripple effects, but you speak of changing our entire culture.”
She felt hot tears starting to brim at the corner of her eyes, “This can’t be all there is, Momma. I don’t want to be afraid forever.”
Esther stood to hug her just as the door opened, and David and Les came in.
“You’ll never guess what happened today!” Les called, running in and throwing his book on the table, followed by his cap, his sweaty hair sticking up in all directions.
Sarah turned away and busied herself at the stove. She wasn’t worried about Les, but she knew David would see the tears brimming over her lashes and ask, and she didn’t want to talk about it now. She didn’t want to resent David for the freedom he had just by being born a boy. She loved him, maybe more than any other person on this planet, and she knew it wasn’t his fault she was feeling this way. She also knew it wasn’t right to be envious of what her brother had. He had his own challenges, and she had hers. But if he had even a taste of freedom, she found she wanted it too.