Current Fixations - November 6
So... no Thursday Night Link Roundup this week because uh...
Hi, how are you, how about that election? I feel like I’m dying. Like, as of right now everything seems a bit less dying on account of the ever so slight blueness of the map that I woke up to, but I’m still perishing deep inside of my psyche. But like... slightly less? Like if you could die but not be totally dead? Idk how to describe this feeling, but I still don’t want to get my hopes up.
I think it’s called: “cautiously optimistic”?
Anyway, Editing Nano is going pretty well. Well-- it wasn’t on the first few days because I was freaking out because, you know the old saying, “Nobody likes a fascist dictatorship,” haha, remember that one? So editing or making any kind of choice was really difficult because of the whole “what if I wake up and suddenly don’t have rights anymore?” thing. Ive just kind of been feeling like this for the past few days:
So like... that’s a thing. Nice when circumstances mean that depression walks up behind you and cracks you over the head with a 2x4 when you’re least expecting it. But I guess life in America is really just an elongated episode of Backyard Wrestling at this point.
Anyway, anyway, two things have been making me feel better.
One is: I somehow found out about Corpse Husband, not sure how that happened. Like, normally if I think about it I can remember what I clicked on that lead me to another thing I clicked on, etc., but one of his videos might have been recommended? I’m not sure. All of a sudden I was watching his streams and not sure how I got there but was having a lovely time.
But his voice is literally so soothing and I’ve been listening to his Among Us streams while editing and his Q&A’s while falling asleep and he’s been seriously helpful. He also made my brain go “Remember you had that idea of reading horror books for YouTube years ago? Let’s think about that again.” He also seems to make a lot of the same jokes as I do, so of course I find him hilarious. There was a non-zero amount of “Am I over there?”
Also, his fans make some seriously good artwork, just putting that out there. I was perusing Instagram and like, holy shit, they’re good. Seriously, seriously talented people.
(I don’t think I’ve mentioned this here, but I finally found some people to play Among Us with - no one in my regular group of friends wanted to play - and I will probably be as nervous as he is at the beginning of his streams. I’m not good at mind game stuff or being sneaky lol.)
The other thing that have been helping, and I do know how I found this: I was watching TwoSet and they had their opera singer friend on and she showed her top five favorite performances, and this song was one of them (but with Birgit Nilsson singing instead).
Anywho, this piece with this singer had been making me feel feelings:
She just ground my soul up into a fine powder and did I don’t know what the fuck magic on me and now I’m a fucking lich or a revenant or something. I was listening to it all morning while I was editing and got really into it and ended up crying. Like, what the fuck. But I guess that’s the point of trying to create something that’s going to make your audience go “Ahhh! Right in the feels!” May have written a bit of poetry as well lol. Her performance is mesmerizing and it gives me great pain and there’s a kind of beauty in that pain? I don’t know. All I know is that when she hits that high note and then low note during “Welt-Atems” I was transported.
And then I had to walk all the way back and had time to reflect upon what it was that it made me feel.
Her name is Waltraud Meier, by the way. Here she is, years later, still killing it:
Fucking amazing.
Anyway, that’s all I have for you. Life is stressful and my brain is trying to run away from all of it.
But like... brain, we have shit to do. Please come back, I need you. *turns on the pretty voice people*
My brain: You’re right, beauty does exist in this world. *trudges back over*
Me: We’ll get through it bud.
I don’t know what I’m saying. I’m going to go put on a peel-off mask. The apocalypse is no excuse for terrible skin (or something like that, my brain is mush). Oh shit, I forgot about my laundry.
