content warning for slight angst, minimal/vague descriptions of blood, death, and violence. spoiler warning for whistle.
author's note: okay so I have never written fanfiction in my life but this movie has me in a chokehold, so I’m doing shit I’ve never done before lol. I did a skim over but it wasn't a real proofread so there might be some mistakes in here somewhere. also I did kinda skip around the song so that's my bad...
song: The Predatory Wasp of the Palisades Is Out to Get Us!-Sufjan Stevens
Ellie Gains relived the worst few days of her life, three, maybe two (if she was lucky) nights a week.
Grace’s withered hand hanging from the bell of the spiral in the maze.
Rel dissolving into a red mist in front of her.
The searing pain of the bullet in her side, and then the hazy, out of body feeling that followed when the seizure began.
Worst of all, she saw Chrys. Eyes clouded over, body cold on the floor.
This had been a bad one. Everything had returned to her. Ellie woke in a cold sweat, tears streaming down her face as she pressed her left hand to her heart, checking that it was still beating in her chest. In her dazed panic she searched the right side of the bed with her free hand.
Where is she?
Where is she?
Looking down and finding the spot empty, she shot out of bed, staggering toward the bathroom, but finding nothing. Bracing herself on the wall, she stumbled along the hallway and into the living room, running directly into a very concerned Chrys.
“Ellie? El, hey, what's wrong?”
“Y-You weren't there, I couldn't find you.”
Ellie sobbed openly now as Chrys gathered her into her arms, holding her girlfriend’s head to her chest gently.
“I'm sorry,” She whispered, “I just went to the kitchen, I didn't mean to scare you. Did you have another dream?”
Ellie nodded, tears beginning to slow.
“You're okay, and I’m okay. We aren't in Pellington. We’re away from all that shit now.”
Chrys spoke calmly, repeating the reminders she'd been giving herself for nearly two years now. Even in this apartment, three hours outside of Pellington, in this new life, the memories of those nights were hardwired into the two girls.
“I would've died so young,” Ellie says plainly, and quietly, “I didn't even look that much older than I was back then.”
Chrys didn't say anything. Just left a lingering kiss at Ellie's temple. The two stood in silence for the morning cold to seep through the floorboards. Chrys finally looked down at Ellie, who had relaxed for the most part.
“It's still early, let's go back to bed,” she spoke softly into Ellie's ear.
Ellie tensed immediately, and opened her mouth to object before Chrys spoke again.
“You don't have to sleep El, but it's warmer in our room.”
Ellie's face softened, and she nodded, leaving the two girls to pad quietly down the hallway to their bedroom. The room was a perfect mix of them both. Lamps were scattered about on the nightstands and on the desk, filling the room with a warm yellow light. Chrys’ records filled milk crates lined up against the wall, and Ellie’s medical books were stacked on the corner of the desk. Pictures of the two of them sat atop the dresser with the record player.
Entering their bedroom, Chrys turned the blankets back for her girlfriend, settling her in bed, and went to flip through her record collection. After a few moments, she lifted a vinyl out of the crate, and held it to Ellie for approval. The brunette nodded, smiling softly. Chrys smiled back, and removed the vinyl from its sleeve, setting it on the player, and gently placing the needle down. Soft music drifted from the player and swirled around the bedroom, lifting away the dark mood that settled over the apartment far too often.
Thinking outrageously I write in cursive I hide in my bed with the lights on the floor
Chrys heard the floor creaking, and turned to find Ellie standing nearby with a hand extended to her.
“Dance with me?”
Wearing three layers of coats and leg warmers I see my own breath on the face of the door
And so they danced.
Oh I am not quite sleeping Oh I am fast in bed
Slotting together like puzzle pieces as the early morning sun filtered in through the window. Ellie’s arms slung over Chrys’ shoulder as she gently held her waist, they swayed to the quiet music.
There on the wall in the bedroom creeping I see a wasp with her wings outstretched
“I don’t know what I’d do without you,” Ellie whispered, so quietly that Chrys might not have even heard her if their foreheads hadn’t been pressed together.
We were in love. We were in love
In response, Chrys pulled Ellie’s wrist down to her lips, pressing a soft kiss to the chrysanthemum tattoo inked into her wrist.
Palisades! Palisades!
Ellie Gains relived the worst few days of her life often, leaving her in fractured pieces that she never knew quite how to pick up on her own.
I can wait. I can wait.
But she never had to do it alone, she had her chrysanthemum.
