Feb 20, 2018
“So one of my student’s little sister told me I’d be way smarter if I knew how to play the kazoo. It was probably the cutest insult I’ve ever experienced. It’s a bummer they don’t offer kazoo classes in college.”
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“So one of my student’s little sister told me I’d be way smarter if I knew how to play the kazoo. It was probably the cutest insult I’ve ever experienced. It’s a bummer they don’t offer kazoo classes in college.”
“So my wife decided that I needed to join the modern era and she went ahead and bought me a smartphone. I don’t know why, This thing is so weird and it keeps going off at the wrong times, and I don’t understand. She won’t give me a straight answer on why I even needed the upgrade. Do you understand this thi- Here it goes again!” Watson fumbles with the phone and it nearly falls out of his pocket.
“They told me reading would be a good way to improve my English. No one told me I would also have to carry around a dictionary to understand what I’m reading.”
Picture it: sat at a table with a single sachet of ketchup in front of him, Danny sat bent over in the seat so his eyes were level with the sachet on the tabletop. Fist hanging in the air moments from smashing down on it. He squinted at the sachet and then, as fast as the idea manifested itself, he let his fist drop. The sachet burst open, with the majority of its contents hitting Danny straight in the face. As if he struck by some force greater than earthly creatures know, he straightened up and sat back up faster than everything had taken place, blinking furiously at the now lifeless sachet on the table, looking far more shocked than he should’ve at the result of his action. He exhaled and made eye contact with the first person he could in hopes of a little sympathy, “Mate, I seriously misjudged that.”
Luke scratched the back of his head, and tapped with his fingers on the paper of the movie ticket he was still holding in his hand. Always when he got out of the movie theater it seemed incredibly bright outside. “I liked it,” he proclaimed, squeezing his eyes against the sun. “I liked it, but perhaps I’d have liked to see more of the girl in the yellow sweater. Y’know, the one that came up like halfway in the movie. She had some really good ideas I’d have liked to have heard more of, to be honest.”
“You know, I should not be allowed in Target. I spend my entire paycheck in there when I literally need nothing more than like soda cause it was on sale there or something. Like I really need to not. Like why do I need a blue poka-dot bedding sheets with bananas? I don’t... but I wonder If I could convince Ben to let us use it,”
“… You like all that art stuff?” Luke nodded to a painting on the wall.
“I just can’t wait for it to be summer – I’m tired of having to wear a coat outside.” Ben buried his nose deep in the wool of his scarf.