Discover Top Posts Tagged with #nods knowingly

Mfw we remember Dale is plural like us

#nods knowingly #nods #okay wait if we think too hard we may start crying hang on

ah yes the death of the spirit engendered by a suffocating family life and a stiflingly small town

#nods knowingly #hohh lb

actually wow actually yeah actually uh huh

#nods knowingly

once i fuckin

once u fuckin

#fredspeak #nods knowingly #toadgrime #ask

so my roommates and i went out to a camp site about 30 mins away from here at around midnight and laid on blankets under the stars to watch out for meteors. we saw more than we would have on a normal night, but most of the two hours we spent there we made up some really hilariously terrible stories, where we all threw in ideas. which i’m gonna put under a readmore because they’re long.

one was The Legend of Mintbeard, the one-horseshoe man, who had wooden eyes, a single, massive horse tooth, a peg leg, a peg arm (which he constantly spun a horseshoe on), two fingers on the other hand, a railroad tie mounted to his back, and a beard full of mint leaves. he came from a one-horse town, until the horse died. then he went insane, stole a tooth from the dead horse’s mouth, amputated his own legs and replaced them with the horse’s legs (or i guess only one leg because the other one is a peg), and now he wanders camp sites looking for people without tents to yell and spin his one horseshoe at. and then you die from second hand woe.

the other story was The Amazing Rando. a man pulls a sword from a stone, only to completely forget everything about himself. he ties the sword to his long hair, talks to wolves, rips off his robes, and runs naked towards the east. any time he met with people who would look at this hot mess and ask if he was okay, he would give a knowing nod, squat, and take a shit. he performed a many great feats, such as throwing a coconut crab thousands of feet into the air, using his hair-sword as a helicopter blade to fly, absorbing an arrow into his ass-flesh with crab brainmeats and growing arrowhead-scales on his arms, talking to poseidon and receiving a staff of water (which could only get people wet and not actually harm them), shoving said staff up his dick-hole somehow and literally peeing forever, fishing a gigantic pink “sea radish” with a normal fishing rod, and defeating an ancient evil squirrel by shoving it up his ass. he then put the sword back into the stone and regained his memories, fell to his knees, and questioned his life choices. the sword had been holding back the ancient evil the whole time and he, a knight, was only there to check on it.

#GOOD TIMES #life with roommates #nods knowingly #squats #takes a shit