Madame Fortune Teller, what are some predictions you can make of the pairs here in NOLA? For instance, "Tawyer" (talan/sawyer) / "Dani" (drew/lani) / "Lesley" (lani/wes) / "Delbastian" (del/seb) / "Sameron" (silas/cam) / "Lex" (liv/bex) / "Sebollie" (seb/hollie) / "Mesley" (maddie/wes) / "Jelena" (jamie/helena)
What kind of SAT-style, four part essay question is this? I seriously do not get paid enough for this. But since you asked, I might as well voice my opinion. We’ll start off with Talan and Sawyer. Lots of denial surrounds those two–– or rather, just Sawyer, who happens to think that love and attachment are the most terrifying thing since the 50 Shades of Gray movie. Girl, get over yourself, the world isn’t out to get you. It’s 2016 and the lord has more important things to do than to target your ass. Then we have Drew and Lani. Cute. But boring. So what? She’s a substitute mom, now? Where’s the fun in that? Everyone knows the new mom has to be evil, and unless Maddie was right about her all along, there’s no way in hell they’ll ever work out. Pass. And speaking of relationships that are destined to go down in flames quicker than a Taylor Swift music video… Lani probably won’t have any better luck with Wesley. Complicated isn’t just a hit song by Avril Lavigne, you know–– oh no, there’s nothing more complicated than indulging an ex when you know (and Wes, baby, you did know all along) that you can’t give them what they want. Have fun with that disaster. Delancey and Sebastian? Promising… If she ever got her head out of her ass and saw what was right in front of her. Kinky Boots over there needs to stop looking back and should learn to look forward. Sooner of later, Seb’s gonna move on and she won’t know what hit her. Silas and Cameron are a train-wreck just waiting to happen. There’s truly nothing more to it. With Cameron’s legion of boy-toys and side-chicks, theres no way the Prince of the Ever-Virgins will ever be down for whatever it is she’s offering. Surprise, surprise. Bexley and Olivia are hot. But you know what they say. All that goes up, must come down, and anything that goes up in flames that quickly will lose it’s spark even quicker. We’ll just have to see if they last, won’t we? You remember that thing I said about Sebastian moving on? Well. Sometimes moving on doesn’t always mean moving forward (as clearly evidenced by Wesley). Maybe Seb should take a page out of his buddy’s book and revisit the past, hmm? At least in his case there’s no crazy fake-blondes to run after him, guns blazing. And since you asked–– Maddie and Wesley, all things aside, somehow may have a brightening future ahead of them. Lord only knows how, or even why, but it should be fun to watch as it dissolves and then comes together again…. and then dissolves…. and then comes together…. and then dissolves… and then–– well, you get the drift. Oh, and James and Helena? No comment.