I really didn't realize how awful this week was until today. I hate bitching and saying life sucks when I am a really fortunate person and bad things rarely happen to me and when they do they are no worse than what happens to an average person. Both of my parents lost a grandparent this week and it hurts me to see my parents hurt. I have told exactly three people about what is going on, I really don't like talking about this stuff, it's just the way I am. Two of the people I told were my best friend and my drama teacher. I almost broke down crying when I told my teacher because saying it out loud crushed me. I felt like the entire week crashed down on me. I just want to go to work tomorrow and joke around with everyone and get hugs and have lunch with Danny. I also have to fix some things up with a particular person because I have not stopped thinking about them all week and I was really dumb. I just get silly when people have nice teeth and arms and get really close to me. I like it so much but I don't know what to do with myself. Although I am sad about my great grandmas I realized that it isn't a tragedy. They were both in there 90's and so happy to be going. They both talked about how they couldn't wait to be reunited with their love. So I'll have my sad day today, nothing beats cuddling with your mom and having a good cry. Tomorrow I'm going to have a better day and not just lay in my bed and stare at a wall. My dad and I also had a good talk this morning and he got me all excited about what's going to be happening in the next couple months. Moving downtown, living on my own, getting a car, parents moving to Calgary.. That shits sweet. I might even go to U of C next year. It's inevitable that when something ends, something new begins, so bring it on world. You know I am more than willing for change.