#non-hot

[tickle-terato-filth]

because im very curious: what is the difference between a regular tickling vs a punishment tickling? (with you)

OK since you're very curious and because you used that colon so nicely:

Punishment is meant to be a deterrent. It is an experience so unpleasant you don't want to go through it again. Washing your mouth out with soap. Kneeling on rice. Writing lines (handwriting the same sentence again and again hundreds of times). (I'm not commenting on the ethics of actually using these as punishments outside of a kink context, just giving examples).

Normally as a top you want to build experiences the bottom does want to have again, because you want to play with them again (obviously). So even if it's a torture scene, you'd want to construct it skillfully so it's a positive experience taken as a whole. You would want to think about things like pacing, dynamism, personal connection, building and removing intensity in a meaningful arc (having a beginning, middle, and end). Variety of technique, building expectations and either paying off or subverting them, mixing pleasure and suffering, controlling the bottom's focus. It's like you're directing a movie. And even with the most masochistic masochists you want to give them that, because it shows your skill and conscientiousness.

Punishment is not that. Take the example of writing lines. There's no payoff to writing lines, no dynamism, no connection between top and bottom, no skill being demonstrated. It's just monotonous and it hurts your hand.

The only reason a bottom would agree to be punished is if there is some meta-level benefit or meaning gained. In BDSM classically, that probably means they are submissive, and the punishment builds on a longer-term relationship between the submissive and dominant. Like: I punish you, it sucks, it makes you want to obey me more, it makes you feel more controlled, it makes you feel conditioned not to do other things, maybe it makes you feel like a child, ... and those feelings (which are feelings you want, hypothetically) are the purpose.

I'll be honest: I've received punishments as a submissive myself, but I have not given punishments. I feel experienced as a sadist/top/ler, but I don't have experience as a dominant in a longterm D/s dynamic. It's not that I don't want it. And I think I'd be good at it. But I just haven't found that in the right way with the right person at the right time.

So if I describe to you what punishment tickling would be like with me, it's something I'm imagining, within a relationship I desire.

It would need to be with a lee who is very ticklish, who finds tickling unbearable at baseline. It would be monotonous: I would find a horribly ticklish spot and repeatedly tickle that spot as long as possible without desensitizing, to just create maximum suffering over the maximum length of time. Then I'd switch to another spot and mercilessly tickle there. Then maybe I'd go back to the first spot. It would be mind-numbing, the kind of repetition where you lose track of the number of times you've returned to the same thing, which makes it feel eternal. I would not vary technique; I would relentlessly drill into the lee's worst spots in the most unpleasant way possible for them. I would not be playful. Just heartless. I would use every single tool at my disposal to make the tickling as bad as possible. I would try to make it an experience the lee never wants to have again. Truly never.

What would I get out of that? It would be hard for me too, in some ways. I myself might get bored, and I'd need to push through that in service of the D/s. My hands might get tired and I'd need to persevere. But one thing that I'd like very much would be seeing the lee have a bad experience that they hate, seeing it crush their soul as the hours drag on, watching them become a shell of a human, robotically laughing as their reflexes are exploited nonstop. Hearing them honestly beg me to stop and knowing they fully mean it and that there's not a shred of anything enjoyable in it for them. Just completely breaking them. Taking their fetish and wringing out everything they like about it. Not hot for them at all.

And I'd like them knowing this was happening because they were bad. :) I'd like to tell them they were bad, and that they deserve this. I'd like to see the effect that has on them psychologically. And I'd like to see how it changes our relationship and how they feel about me as a ler.

[tickle-terato-filth]

that nonbinary feeling of reading people's posts/tags which are phrased in terms of binary genders, and having no idea if the person means it to apply it to you also, and if so, which gender slot you'd fit into for them

[tickle-terato-filth]

do you like t boys?

Hi anon! I'm not really into men. I've played with men (and trans men in particular) a few times, but as a service top. And I'm down to gang tickle anyone even if I'm not personally attracted (even a sexual gang tickle. In fact it's better if it's sexual). And, I like reading stories of men & boys getting tickled/tortured (in fact they're usually the best stories for some reason. But trans men are sadly underrepresented in that regard).

"Not really into" == there could be exceptions both trans and cis, but I think they're rare enough that it's too emotionally risky for me to seek online. It would have to be someone I met in person at some event.

Though, I think some important context here is that I'm not attracted to most people generally, so...

It's something I would change about myself if I could. In addition to being an immortal monster with mind control power and 20 arms, I wish I were attracted to more people.

[tickle-terato-filth]

same disclosure as last time. This is a personal update that you probably shouldn't read if you want to think of me as an abstract idea. Which is a total valid thing to want, especially if you're horny for me.

I'm feeling a little emotional and sad the last few nights. Strange how that can exist at the same time as feral horniness. Sometimes I just need a place to express sadness. You followers know me better than all but one person, in some respects -- in respects that matter a lot. You know my deepest secrets. Which means that you could maybe understand the sadness, if I felt free to explain. I don't, except elliptically.

I feel wise and lonely. I feel constrained. I feel swept along. I feel invisible. There isn't any one simple thing that would "fix" me, like people often say on tumblr.

I would very much enjoy being with a lee, softly kissing them and feeling them kiss back, knowing them and feeling known. Touching them intimately for the first time, and feeling their touch for the first time. I want that very much.

I remember so many first times with partners. So many rapidly became dizzyingly intimate. When the chemistry is there, it's there, and it's the ultimate intoxication in some ways, and also the edgiest play there is. I mean: becoming semipermanently linked with another person, because it can be severed, but only at great cost. Real life has no safewords.

Not just the beginnings; everything! Those memories stay forever, like possessions in an attic. They are either my most valuable possessions or my heaviest weights. They frequently cause me pain. I'll be showering in the morning, which is the time for me when that veil is thinnest, and I'll moan in pain, because the memories of beginnings and middles and ends still hurt.

And yet here I am wanting more, craving more, touching myself for hours imagining it. Wanting the future to be more than remembering the past.

They say ibuprofen and Tylenol work for emotional pain in addition to corporeal. I'm thinking of something Alan Watts said about life being a dream you forget you're dreaming. I suppose that if we each choose to live life and descend down to earth, then that's actually the edgiest play.

I know like 3 people will read this. It's ok, it's a little relief just to write it. It helps me banish the ghosts. Tomorrow is another day. Every day has lots of joy.

[tickle-terato-filth]

The Substance spoilers possibly

Just chain up the other self permanently in the secret room. When it's time to switch to them, have your lovers / clients torture them for 7 days nonstop and handle feeding and stabilizers. Have them put you in a nice fluffy bed and do skincare routines while your other self languishes. Switch back, enjoy your normal life, have a nice week. The other self doesn't need all that dangerous freedom. Just use them to torture.

[tickle-terato-filth]

I saw a well-known person on here saying it was a red flag if a ler insists that the lee be naked for a session. The gist of their position seems to be: 1. The lee should always have the choice of what to wear during play. 2. This stems from the fact that the lee is the party offering their body and vulnerability, so what they want matters more, or matters exclusively. 3. It's a sign for the lee to "run" if a ler expresses a preference for nudity or if they require nudity.

I can see where this position is coming from. I agree lees are the more vulnerable party -- I mean, of course they are. And I think it's broadly good to give lees empowering advice, since they may start from a place of not believing they have the right to set boundaries, or not feeling like they can. And I also think there is a red flag some lers have that is superficially similar to this: they pressure a lee to remove limits. That is bad, and I can see why it could feel like the type of ler who pressures a lee to be naked is the same type as one who simply demands the lee be naked as a precondition for playing.

But I think those are distinct types.

Consent is supposed to be a leveling process. Meaning, person in a position of more power is trying to put a check on their power by participating in the process. The idea that consent cannot meaningfully exist between two parties with a power imbalance is, imo, regressive and defeatist. Especially since that's precisely the sort of situation where having an explicit consent process is most important. That's why we talk about consent at all. Because (e.g.) women have less power than men in our society, and rather than accepting that as eternal and inevitable, feminists sought to change it.

Imagine if someone instead said "women are offering greater vulnerability during sex, and therefore it's unethical for men to even ask for anything, since we cannot distinguish a request from coercion." Well, some people do say that, and it's regressive.

When I tell lees I insist they be naked when we play, what that means is I'm making an offer for particular kind of play I want, with specific parameters. The lee is not merely free to refuse this offer. They need to enthusiastically consent to this offer before I play with them. And that's as it should be. The existence of consent requires and implies the freedom of refusal.

My desires for play matter too. They don't supersede the lee's desires. No, they're part of a standard bdsm negotiation process. Stating my desires helps me find lees with matching desires. This is good for lees. This is hot for lees. A world where lers are vocal about their desires and lees can negotiate and consent with those lers with full agency and respect? That's a good thing.

To sum up, I don't think it's a red flag that I insist on certain parameters if lees want to play with me. It's the opposite. I would think it was a red flag if I agreed to play that wasn't fun or hot or enjoyable for me due to some idea that I don't matter. I'd consider it bad communication, I'd say it shows a lack of respect for lees' agency, and I'd say it's a refusal to be genuine.

[tickle-terato-filth]

there is something indescribably erotic about numbers like TREE(3) or SSCG(3) in a way I think it's unlikely any other human being either understands or cares about. Like there's the set of people have any interest in TREE(3), and then there's the set of people who are as deeply sexually fucked up as I am, and the intersection of these sets is just me

[tickle-terato-filth]

feeling submissive/masochistic/ wanting to receive. Those are difficult feelings.