Jun 9, 2022
Hi! I love the non-sequential series and was wondering if there will be any updates soon. You are so talented!
seen from China
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seen from Türkiye
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seen from Türkiye
seen from China
seen from Austria
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Türkiye
seen from Paraguay
seen from China
seen from China
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seen from China
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Hi! I love the non-sequential series and was wondering if there will be any updates soon. You are so talented!
Non-Sequential [Ch. 29]
Pairing: Pre-Serum Steve Rogers/Steve Rogers x Reader
One night, Steve Rogers met a beautiful dame named Y/N. He hadn’t intended on letting her get away. But fate had other ideas. Y/N appeared and disappeared in his life so hauntingly that Steve started to wonder if she was an angel meant to watch over him.
Word Count: 2,500
Chapter 28
The next 5 years simultaneously felt like they were moving too fast and too slowly.
Steve wondered if there would be limited visits from Y/N or if this was the rest of his life: just holding onto the past and praying that the next time she would stay for good.
But he knew that would never happen.
She would always leave.
Steve felt like he had returned to his teenage years when Y/N had first started visiting him. But watching her go now hurt a 100 times worse than back then. During that time, he hadn’t acknowledged that he loved her. He didn’t know what it was like to fully have her.
What he would give to regain that naivety. He didn’t know how much longer he could handle such torture.
When Y/N did visit the present, Steve tried to seize it as much as he could. He tried to act normal, wait for Y/N to ask the questions so he could figure out what she knew and what she didn’t. By some miracle, she always knew about the snap.
Steve felt lucky, he wouldn’t know how to handle her naivety to how she would die. Nat always told him he was a terrible liar. He could only assume lying to the woman he loved would be even worse.
Steve was sitting at his window, staring out at Brooklyn. There was a steaming cup of coffee in his hand and he was waiting for it to cool down. The sun had just rose past the horizon. Most of the city was still sleeping. He started to enjoy watching it slowly wake up. It was one of the very few joys he found these days.
“Steve?” Her voice whispered from behind him.
He jumped at the sound, shooting to his feet and turning around.
In the process, he spilled some of the coffee on his hand and bare feet.
He hissed at the burn.
“Oh, shit. I’m so sorry!” Y/N rushed forward.
Steve was both so surprised to see her and feel the boiling liquid on his skin that he didn’t realize Y/N was still completely naked.
“I’m fine. It’s OK.” He tried to tell her, only looking into her eyes.
One time Sam asked about the binding nudity that came with Y/N’s time traveling. He asked about it in a way that wasn’t really a question, but like he clearly wanted Steve to comment on it.
“Just so we’re clear, you’re asking what I think about my girlfriend being forced to be naked when she’s also forced to time travel at any given moment to a place she doesn’t know? Did I get that right?” He’d said it with the classic Steve Rogers sass.
But Sam got the point and never brought it up again.
Y/N’s nudity wasn’t something sexualized by Steve. He’d grown used to it. He assumed most people saw their naked wives and girlfriends, and only linked it to sex. But all it did for Steve was remind him of Y/N’s vulnerability.
Her skin was unprotected from the elements. That’s why she had almost frozen to death during the first time she ever traveled.
Her skin attracted unwanted attention. Steve would never forget when Y/N appeared at his military camp, standing innocently in front of an army that hadn’t felt a woman’s touch or seen a female body in months. He didn’t like to think what could’ve happened if Bucky hadn’t been there to look out for her.
Her skin reminded Steve that even though she didn’t don a uniform, there was still something about her that forced her to be different from the world – just like him.
Now her skin told Steve that she was much younger.
There was no scar from getting shot during the Battle at the Triskelion, a scar on her abdomen from the medical team at the compound digging out a bullet. Then there were the scars that should’ve been scattered across her skin from when she was tortured by Hydra. Thanks to Wakandan medicine, they were almost invisible. But Steve was familiar enough with Y/N’s body that he could still just barely point them out. Those were nowhere to be seen either.
Which meant that the Y/N standing in front of Steve was from a much younger time.
“Did we…did we break up?” Y/N’s lip trembled as her eyes filled with tears.
Steve stepped forward. “What? Why would you think that?”
Her eyes looked around the room. “None of my stuff is here. It doesn’t even look like I live here.”
But it was true. There was hardly any personality to his Brooklyn apartment. Anyone that knew Y/N would expect her apartment to be filled with warmth, and the perfect lighting, and everything that made a home intimate and charming.
“Steve, did we break up?” Y/N’s voice shook as she repeated the question.
Tears were streaming down her cheeks and Steve couldn’t handle it anymore.
He closed the distance between them and pulled her into his body.
“Hey, hey, hey,” he muttered. “It’s OK. We didn’t break up.”
At least he didn’t technically have to lie about that.
She pulled away from being tucked into his body to look at his face. “What is this place?” It was still obvious she didn’t exist in this space.
“We just bought it,” Steve was quick on his feet. “It came furnished and we haven’t moved all of our stuff in yet.”
Y/N seemed to believe him. “Where am I?”
“You’re away on a freelance job.”
She nodded, processing the new information.
“Would you like some clothes?” He asked her gently.
Y/N laughed lightly, apparently having forgotten that she was fully naked.
She sniffled, trying to clear her nose and nodded.
A few minutes later, Y/N was in Steve’s sweats, sitting at his kitchen island with her own coffee cupped between her palms.
“I’m sorry – again – that I scared you into spilling coffee on yourself,” she winced.
Steve chuckled. “Y/N, believe it or not, I’ve suffered much worse injuries than hot coffee burns.”
“Right,” she smiled. “You’ve just casually been shot a few times and survived a plan crash.”
He quirked an eyebrow. “Amongst other things.”
“Amongst other things,” Y/N agreed and repeated back.
A peaceful silence settled between them.
Y/N’s eyes narrowed. “You know, I don’t believe you.”
“About the hot coffee?”
“About us not being broken up,” Y/N confirmed.
Steve just tightened his jaw. He didn’t know how much more he could lie to her.
Y/N slowly stood up and closed the distance between them. When she was in his space, she carefully reached up to brush his cheek with her thumb.
“Your eyes… they’re so sad. And they get even sadder every time you look at me.”
“We’re on a break,” Steve quickly told her. He hoped a half lie would save him.
Y/N nodded. And he knew that she believed that one.
She opened her mouth to ask more.
“Please, don’t ask me to say more about it,” Steve begged.
Y/N just nodded.
But then she stepped even closer to him. “Do you miss me?” She whispered as her gaze flickered down to his lips.
Steve’s chest hurt from the question alone. Present and future Y/N had never prepared him for having interactions like this.
He just nodded his head, knowing that if he tried to say actual words then he’d just let out some pathetic whimper.
Y/N leaned even closer. Her gaze flickered to his, silently asking him if he wanted her to stop.
But Steve didn’t have that sort of self control.
So Y/N kissed him.
And he felt her surprise when he responded with a hunger she didn’t expect.
Without hesitation, he pulled her closer. But it still wasn’t enough. Then his hands slid down the outside of her thighs and then gripped the back of them. He scooped her up and pulled her hips to his waist, holding her there until she realized she needed to wrap her legs around him. But it still wasn’t enough.
He pulled away from the kiss. “Do you want me to stop?” His words struggled while he also tried to catch his breath.
Y/N gave him a shy smile and shook her head before giving him a sweet and precise peck on the lips.
“No, I don’t.” Then she laughed, “But maybe we could move this to the bedroom.”
Even if she wasn’t his in this time period, Y/N still knew what Steve needed. And she was more than willing to give it to him.
——————————
Steve always got this guilty feeling after sleeping with a version of Y/N that wasn’t her present self. No matter how many times Y/N told him it wasn’t, Steve could always convince a part of his mind to believe he had cheated.
Y/N had fallen asleep so quickly. It didn’t matter that she was out of her time. She always felt safe with Steve.
Meanwhile, Steve wouldn’t allow himself a second of sleep. He wasn’t going to waste a moment with Y/N by not being awake. How could he?
Instead he held her naked body against his chest. He switched back and forth between tracing the line of her spine to thumbing circles on her shoulder.
The more time he spent without Y/N in his present, the harder it was to watch her other selves leave him.
He glanced at the clock on his nightstand and sighed. He had to go to his group therapy in a few hours.
If Y/N was still here by then, he’d skip it. Lie and tell them he was sick.
Those sessions made him feel like a mockery anyway. At least once a week, he sat in a circle and told people they needed to move on with their lives. Meanwhile, he was still in a relationship with his dead girlfriend. She was a ghost that haunted him. He lectured other people how to live their lives in a post-snap world when he couldn’t go a minute without hoping a future or past Y/N would visit him soon.
Steve was taken out of his thoughts when Y/N stirred next to him.
She wasn’t waking up; she was leaving.
He saw her body start to fade.
There was nothing he hated seeing more than watching Y/N travel.
Was she going back to her own present? Was she going somewhere else? Would she be safe? Would this be one of her trips where she got hurt or almost killed?
And then, just like that, Y/N was gone. And Steve was alone once again.
Steve hoped his sheets would smell like her for longer than they did last time.
He should probably shower before he went to group, but he didn’t want to lose the feeling of her on his skin. He just wanted it to linger, if that was even possible.
That’s when he decided he needed more than a talk with a group of strangers. He needed a friend – a real friend – who knew what he was actually going through.
——————-
Steve hated going to the compound since the snap.
It was like going to a haunted house.
He never knew what memories would be resurrected when he visited.
Sometimes it was just the way the sun lit the room for a second or he’d catch a certain smell, then he was suddenly thrust into a memory linked to Y/N.
Steve found Nat in tears.
It was subtle, but it still broke his heart to see her upset. She was the strongest of them all. If she couldn’t hold it together, that’s when the rest of them truly knew how bad things really were.
“Ya know, I’d offer to cook you dinner, but you seem pretty miserable already.”
“You here to do your laundry?” She teased, trying to hide that she’d lost her composure for even a second.
“And to see a friend,” he added.
“Clearly your friend is fine.”
“What if your friend is the one that’s not?” He offered.
Her forced smirk faltered. “She show up today?”
Steve sighed and nodded. “She thought we broke up. It took one look around my apartment to know she didn’t live there.”
“You’re a terrible liar, so I could only imagine how that went.”
“Well, I eventually got her to believe we were just on a break, instead of telling her that she was…”
“Dead?” Nat offered.
Steve’s jaw just tightened at the word. He moved to sit across from her.
“It’s the first time she didn’t know about it. And now I’m wondering if I prefer the version of her that doesn’t know what's going to happen to her.”
Nat just hummed, understanding what he meant.
Steve’s eyes glazed over as he thought about it. “How was she able to just live every day knowing what was going to happen?”
“She had to learn to accept what she couldn’t control awhile ago, Steve. She didn’t have any other choice.”
“Why couldn’t she tell me?” He thought aloud, frustration clear in his voice.
“Because she knew you.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You would’ve made yourself crazy trying to stop what you couldn’t. Nothing else would’ve mattered...including her.” Nat sighed. “Maybe she just wanted to embrace what little time she had with you. She can ignore the ticking of a time bomb, but not you.”
Steve knew Nat was right.
Suddenly, there was a ping and a hologram appeared in front of Nat.
She pressed a few buttons in the air and a video played out.
Next thing they knew, Scott Lang was fumbling his words at the front gate’s security camera.
Steve slowly stood up. Scott Lang was meant to be dead. “Is this an old message?”
“It’s the front gate,” Nat told him.
An hour later, Scott had stopped his pacing and explained his time travel theory.
Steve looked at Nat and immediately knew that she didn’t find Scott as crazy as he did.
But Nat had been searching for hope these past 5 years, while Steve refused to let it into his life.
“Tomorrow we’ll go see Tony,” Steve confirmed. “For now, you should get some rest, Scott.” Then he looked at Nat. “We all should.”
That was code for, ‘Don’t get excited.’
She clearly got the underlying message, but refused to ignore the hope.
—————————
Steve walked into his old room at the compound. He was only ever there when he visited Nat, which wasn’t often at all. He only kept some things there because he saw the hurt in Nat’s eyes when he had once suggested he completely clean it out.
When he turned on the light, he immediately noticed an envelope on the nightstand.
It was a letter addressed to him at the compound.
But Steve’s heart raced when he recognized the writing as Y/N’s.
“FRIDAY, where did this letter come from?” He asked the AI.
“It arrived in the mail today, Captain Rogers.”
He ripped it open instantly, his hands shaking in the process.
But there were only three words for him to read:
Listen to Scott.
Steve felt his heart beat faster.
And for the first time in 5 years, he felt hope.
-------------------------
Ya’ll, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Non-Sequential [Ch. 28]
Pairing: Pre-Serum Steve Rogers/Steve Rogers x Reader
One night, Steve Rogers met a beautiful dame named Y/N. He hadn’t intended on letting her get away. But fate had other ideas. Y/N appeared and disappeared in his life so hauntingly that Steve started to wonder if she was an angel meant to watch over him.
Word Count: 2,300
Chapter 27
The Battle of Wakanda was simultaneously the shortest and longest day of Steve Rogers’ life.
The dog-like aliens were released in too many droves, making Steve believe they would never stop attacking. Even if Shuri was successful in detaching the stone from Vision, would destroying it even stop these monsters? But Steve didn’t have time to think about that.
Thor’s arrival felt like a blink to Steve. He didn’t have time to process the return of his long-lost friend. The two of them were too busy trying to survive. But Steve somehow seemed to sense the personal ties Thor had in this war.
Steve started to come to on the forest floor. His body quick to recover from being knocked unconscious by Thanos. But it wasn’t fast enough.
He slowly got to his feet and looked up to find Thor pressing his axe into Thanos’ chest. But for some reason, Steve knew it was too soon to celebrate a victory. Something felt off.
“Nooo!” Thor bellowed just before Thanos snapped his fingers.
A flash blinded Steve as he tried to move forward.
When he regained his vision, Thanos fell backwards into a portal and disappeared.
Steve clutched his side as he made his way to Thor. “Where’d he go?”
Thor said nothing, just remained in a daze and breathed heavily.
“Thor?” Steve begged. “Where’d he go?”
“Steve?” Bucky’s voice begged for his attention.
But when Steve looked over, Bucky’s body was already disappearing, turning into ash.
With utter shock, Steve slinked to the pile of ash that once was his best friend.
Him and Thor shared a look, finally understanding what was happening.
Everyone regrouped. Well… not everyone.
Steve went to Visions body, colorless and lifeless. The stone was missing from his forehead, proving what they were already figuring out.
“What is this?” Rhodey asked. “What the hell is happening?”
Steve breathed deeply as it all finally made sense. “Oh, God.”
Then her face flashed in his mind.
“Y/N,” he gasped and jumped to his feet.
“Steve…” Nat called after him, but there was no life in her voice. She just sounded scared.
All the injuries he had meant nothing to him now as he sprinted back to the palace at super-soldier speed. It didn’t matter how much his body hurt and protested. All that mattered was getting to her.
He ignored the panicked looks and the various piles of ash that were scattered across the palace hallways.
He shoved his shoulder against the doors of the wing that protected the royal family and Y/N.
When he entered, the Queen Mother whipped around with tears in her eyes.
Steve’s eyes raced around the room, looking for her. “Y/N!” He yelled.
But when he did not find her or receive an answer, his gaze returned to Ramonda.
She simply shook her head.
“No,” Steve whispered as he shook his head. “No.”
“She’s gone,” Ramonda gasped. “Shuri and her...a-and the rest of them.”
First his best friend and now the love of his life.
Tears filled his eyes.
He left, needing to go to her room. Despite the Queen Mother’s words, Steve’s heart wouldn’t believe her. She couldn’t be gone. It could not be true.
But what he found was an empty bedroom. Clean and barren.
It took a second glance around the room to see the envelope that lay waiting on her nightstand.
Steve didn’t know how it caught his eye when he was having a breakdown.
He saw his name written on it – just Steve. But it was Y/N’s handwriting.
His hand shook as he reached out to pick it up.
He already knew what he was going to find waiting for him inside the envelope.
Y/N knew this was coming. She had seen it. Kept the secret hidden as her own burden to bare. Letting everyone else live in blissful ignorance.
Steve,
By the time you find this, I’m sure you will have figured out what has happened. Thanos was successful. And with his success I have been taken from you.
You have also already realized that I knew this was going to happen. I’ve known for…Well, it doesn’t matter how long I’ve known.
I’m sorry I didn’t warn you. I knew it would destroy you, and maybe it would’ve destroyed us. Is it selfish that I just wanted our time together to be spent without the dread of the future looming over our heads?
I know this is not the goodbye you want or need. But this is all we could have.
Steve, I love you. I love you more than I could ever put into words. You know they aren’t my strong suit. But I hope I made you feel that love.
I know you, Steve. I know you will be OK. You were always stronger than me. You can survive missing me, but I would’ve never survived missing you.
I love you, Steve.
Please don’t forget me.
Steve turned the page over, expecting to find more written.
But that was it.
He wanted more. He needed it. It was a goodbye, but why did he feel like something was missing or that something was off?
The next couple of days were a blur. He hid his feelings. The team needed him. They didn’t need a broken Steve Rogers; they needed Captain America. He wasn’t the only person that lost someone. They all had.
The team decided to return to the compound in New York, regroup and make a plan. Then they discovered Fury’s pager and Carol Danvers explained her relation to it, and Steve allowed himself to feel hope.
But their attack ended in disappointment.
Steve knew in hindsight that it made sense: Y/N wouldn’t have written him a letter saying goodbye if they could bring the world back in a few days.
The solution wasn’t that easy… if there even was a solution.
Now Steve sat on the dock on the lake. The compound’s lights weren’t lit like before – well, everything – making it easier to actually see the stars.
He heard her walking up behind him. But he wasn’t really in the mood for talking. Maybe if he pretended she wasn’t there, she wouldn’t try to engage.
But she’s not one to back down like that.
Nat sat down next to him on the dock, dipping her barefoot into the lake.
“I think I’m going to…get out of here. Thinking about Brooklyn.” Steve spoke first.
“Steve…” She started.
“I can’t stay here, Nat. Everything reminds me of her. The grass on that lawn? Every time I look at it, I think of the night she met me. When I walk into that kitchen, I’m still convinced she’s going to be standing in there waiting for me with a mug of coffee in her hands.”
“So, that’s it? The Avengers are no more?” She challenged.
“We lost, Nat.”
“It was just lost one war, Steve. There will be others. There already are. Carol says–”
But Steve whipped his head to look at her. “We didn’t just lose a war,” he snapped. “I lost everything!” Then he controlled his temper. “She was everything,” he muttered as he looked back onto water.
Nat didn’t say anything more, already knowing when Steve made up his mind, there was no changing it. The only person more stubborn than him was Tony.
“Have you found him yet?” Steve asked her carefully.
She shook her head. “His house arrest bracelet was cut, which can only mean he survived. And there was a call to the compound just minutes after the snap.” Her eyes started watering. “I know he’s out there. But I think Laura and the kids…” She couldn’t even bring herself to say it.
“You shouldn’t stay here,” Steve told her as he looked back at the compound. It was empty and looked lifeless. The agents and scientists that once busied the space were either snapped or had gone back to what family and friends they had left.
Nat ignored his statement.
“Thor’s left. Bruce is acting strange. Tony has clung to Pepper. Rhodey is going back to DC. You shouldn’t be here by yourself, Nat.”
“So, where should I go? To New York City with you?” She challenged.
“Is that such a terrible idea?” He asked.
“I can’t, Steve. I can still help people. I know I can.”
He stood up. “You know…there are other ways to do that than just this.”
———————
Some Time Later…
Steve’s eyes snapped open when he heard the intruder.
His apartment had been restored to keep the character from the time period he was truly from, while being updated enough to be accepted and functional in modern society. But with it came squeaky floorboards and sometimes lack of soundproofing.
But that just meant that there was no mistaking when there was some other presence in his home.
He slipped out of bed completely silent.
Steve didn’t have his shield, but he doubt he would need it to defend himself from a thief.
Crime had skyrocketed since the snap. Turned out that Thanos’ mission didn’t include only ridding the world of bad people. Some took advantage of the world’s vulnerable state, stealing and killing and assaulting others.
But when Steve peaked around the corner, he didn’t find a burglar.
“It’s just me,” she said gently.
Immediately recognizing the voice, Steve rushed around the corner.
Y/N was waiting for him with the blanket from the couch wrapped around her naked body.
Before she even had a chance to say his name or a hello, Steve was pulling her into his arms. The gesture wasn’t uncommon for him, but it still took her by surprise a bit.
“Hi,” she breathed into his shoulder.
He pulled back a bit, “Hi.”
His eyes and body language were now uncertain.
And Y/N knew why: he was trying to figure out what she knew and where she had come from.
“It’s after his snap?” She asked him quietly, proving that she already was aware and he didn’t have to be careful about what he said to her.
He just nodded sadly. “I’ve missed you,” he whispered.
Steve’s situation was simultaneously lucky and heartbreaking. Unlike his friends that survived, he got glimpses of the person he lost. Y/N’s time traveling that once felt like a curse was now a gift to Steve.
He got to hold her, to be reminded of how her skin felt and what she smelled like and how warm or cold her body felt against his.
Y/N leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips. She didn’t want to think about when the last time that he felt her lips.
Steve blinks suddenly. “Sorry! Let me get you some clothes.”
Before she could stop him, he rushed back into his bedroom and started shuffling through drawers, determined to find Y/N’s favorite sweatpants and t-shirt of his.
When he looked up with the clothes in his hands, Y/N was leaning against the doorway with an appreciative grin.
She thanked him as she took the clothes from him.
Steve turned his back to give her some space to change, but he couldn’t find it in him to leave the room and truly give her privacy. He was scared she would disappear at any moment and he didn’t want to miss a second of her visit.
He heard Y/N giggle behind him. It sent a chill down his spine.
“It’s nothing you haven’t seen before, Steve. In fact, you see it quite often.”
He slowly turned to find her already dressed. He cleared his throat, “Sorry. It seems I’m not sure how to act around you anymore.”
She walked up to him and cupped his cheek. “You don’t have to be sorry, Steve.”
He nodded.
“You’re looking at me as if I’m a ghost,” she whispered to him.
And in a way, she was.
Her hands then went to his shoulders. He seemed to preen at her touch, so she’d give him as much of it as she possibly could.
“Can I ask you something?” He muttered.
Steve only said things like that when he was nearing a fine line, when he wanted to ask her something about her time traveling. Something that he already knew she wouldn’t want to tell him.
But Y/N nodded.
“When did you find out?”
He didn’t have to elaborate, Y/N knew what he was asking about.
“Not until I was living in Wakanda.” She kept it generic.
Steve seemed somewhat relieved by it. He couldn’t imagine Y/N keeping the secret of the apocalypse for longer that she already had. A couple years was still torture. But Steve had been imagining the worst, often thinking of a teenage Y/N learning of the end of the world, having it haunt her ever moment.
“I’m sorry,” Steve whimpered. “I’m sorry I didn’t save you.”
Y/N him to her. “Oh, Steve. Shh. There was nothing you could do.”
“I’ve lost so many innocent lives. And I used to tell myself that as long as I had you, I could bare that guilt. But once I lost you…”
Y/N shushed him again. “You’re a hero. No one has ever doubted that. But you’re still just a man, Steven Grant Rogers. And Thanos – Thanos was a titan. A titan with the most powerful weapon in the universe. None of you stood a chance.”
Steve nodded, but she knew it would take more than a few words from her to convince him of that.
“I wish you could stay,” he muttered.
She wiped away some of his tears that had escaped. “I wish I could, too.”
He pressed his forehead to hers and closed his eyes.
All the tension left him from just the feeling of her. His body hadn’t relaxed since the last time he’d properly held her in his arms – before the snap, before the Battle of Wakanda.
Nevertheless, when he opened his eyes again, Y/N was already gone. The sweatpants and t-shirt she had been wearing piled at his feet.
It was then that Steve wondered if he really was luckier than everyone. Because having to say goodbye to Y/N over and over and over again now felt like a different type of torture.
Maybe her visits were going to become his drug. In the end, they weren’t good for him. But he still craved them like his life depended on them.
-------------------
Chapter 29
Just want to clarify that I have not “returned” from my hiatus or to this tumblr in general.
Quite frankly this fandom has lost its fucking mind and I’m rather disgusted with the behavior I’ve seen in the past month or so.
No wonder all of the talented writers have left.
I’m only finishing this stupid series to clear my conscious. But I regretted looking back to see that while +2,500 people follow this series’ masterlist, the past few chapters have received 300 or less notes. And that, I tell you, is one of the reasons I hate it here.
Maybe you already answered but:
What was the story that was hardest to write and why?
The hardest story to write is Non-Sequential because I never finished it and I don't think I ever will.
I think it was hard because it went on for much longer than I ever expected. And it stopped being fun and started feeling like a job. And readership and engagement completely dropped that I had basically 0 motivation to continue it.
Non-Sequential [Ch. 27]
Pairing: Pre-Serum Steve Rogers/Steve Rogers x Reader
One night, Steve Rogers met a beautiful dame named Y/N. He hadn’t intended on letting her get away. But fate had other ideas. Y/N appeared and disappeared in his life so hauntingly that Steve started to wonder if she was an angel meant to watch over him.
Word Count: 3,200
Chapter 26
Y/N shot up in bed when her Kimoyo beads lit up and alerted her of an incoming call.
It was the middle of the night and she had been fast asleep.
When she tapped one of the beads, a hologram of Steve popped up.
“Steve?” She asked as she sat up and rubbed her eyes awake.
“I’m sorry to wake you,” he said softly.
“It’s fine. Is everything OK?” She asked.
Steve sighed. “Vision and Wanda were attacked in Edinburgh.”
Y/N was fully awake now. “Attacked?”
“By…By aliens,” Steve added.
She froze. It sounded like a joke. But the look on Steve’s face was nothing but serious.
“Is everyone OK?”
Steve glanced down. “Vision’s hurt. It’s not good. Wanda’s a little beat up, but fine. Nat and Sam are OK.”
“And what about you?” She challenged.
“I’m fine,” he answered too quickly.
Y/N waited for him to continue.
“We’re on the quinjet now.” Then he hesitated. “Headed to the compound.” He sighed again. “Y/N…there was an attack in New York City. Tony’s missing. He was last seen boarding the spaceship that landed. And that’s the last anyone’s heard of him.”
Y/N suddenly realized why Steve was calling her. Something bad was about to happen. And neither of them believed they were going to see each other before it all went down.
“What if they arrest you?” Y/N thought aloud.
But Steve was already shaking his head at the question. “They know they need us. We’re about to be under attack. They’ve already lost Tony. Earth needs as much help as it can get.”
“What do they want?” She asked numbly.
“Vision. They want the mind stone.” Steve’s jaw clenched. “We’re taking him to the compound to see if we can remove it and still keep him alive.”
Y/N knew none of this was good. Tony was missing, Vision’s life was at stake, and aliens, they knew nothing about, were about to reign hell on the entire planet if they didn’t get what they wanted.
It was all above Y/N. She may have had an enhancement, but she was never a superhero. She didn’t come from a military background or the intelligence community. She only knew about the secrets of the universe from her relationship with Steve.
“Steve,” she whispered, “are you coming back?”
It was the question Steve was scared to answer.
“I-I don’t know, Y/N.”
She was about to open her mouth, say her goodbyes and tell him how much she loved him. Everything that needed to be said before they went into the unknown.
But Steve cut her off before she could do it. “I’ll call you soon,” he urged in his captain voice.
Except Y/N stayed quiet and looked unsure.
“Y/N,” his tone was stern. “Look at me.”
She did.
“I will call you soon. OK?”
She nodded.
Then the call ended and Y/N’s bedroom was filled with darkness once again.
————
Bucky woke up to the sound of someone pounding on his door.
“Bucky! Bucky, wake up!”
He shot out of bed as he immediately recognized Y/N’s voice.
The two of them hadn’t spoken since he went to her room and confessed everything.
But none of that mattered when he could clearly hear the panic in her voice.
He opened the door to Y/N’s wide eyes and heavy breathing. He looked past her shoulder to see that both of her guards were watching her with slight concern, proving that they didn’t know any more than he did of what was going on. They had just blindly followed her here and asked no questions.
“What’s going on?” He asked her.
“I need you to teach me how to shoot a gun,” Y/N said as she struggled to catch her breath.
His eyes furrowed. “What?”
“I’m never going to be as good as I need to be at hand-to-hand combat. So…I need you to show me how to shoot a gun.”
“Y/N, it’s the middle of night. What the hell is going on?”
“Something’s coming. I don’t–I don’t know.” Then her bottom lip started trembling. “I just…I’m sick of being useless. I’m not going to stay here and hide when everyone else is fighting.”
Then she was crying. She was quickly becoming hysterical.
Without even thinking, Bucky pulled her shaking body towards him with his one arm.
“Shhh, kid. It’s OK. It’s OK.” He rubbed her back. “Can you take a deep breath? Can you do that for me?”
It took a bit of coaxing, but Y/N was finally able to do what he asked.
Bucky ignored the guards as he tried to calm her down.
He pulled away to look at her. “Now, tell me what’s going on? What’s gotten you so upset?” He pushed some hair off her face that got stuck to her skin thanks to the tears.
“It’s Thanos.” She finally whispered.
“Who the fuck is Thanos?”
After that, Bucky explained to Y/N’s guards that they were dismissed and he’d look after Y/N.
30 minutes later, he had Y/N sitting in his kitchen with a blanket draped over her shoulders and a cup of tea in her grasp.
She looked so young and scared. The first time Bucky had met Y/N, long before he knew about her ability, she was as older than he’d ever known her. But now, she seemed so young and innocent.
Bucky was reminded that while Steve and Bucky had lived multiple lives that weaved in and out of time, Y/N was just in her first. She had dealt with and seen far more than any young woman her age should have. But with her ability, she never had a choice.
Maybe that was why Bucky felt this draw to her, this sense of duty to protect her. But it was rather silly, wasn’t it? That’s what Steve already did. She didn’t need Bucky too.
Y/N had managed to explain to Bucky the call she’d just received from Steve.
It all made a bit more sense to him now.
“A war’s coming, Bucky,” Y/N muttered as her eyes held no focus, just staring off into the distance.
He didn’t say anything.
“And I can’t do anything to help,” she frowned. “I’m fucking useless.”
Bucky immediately leaned forward. “Hey,” his voice was stern, “That is not true.”
“They say I’m ‘enhanced,’ but my ability is useless. I can’t help anyone with it. I can’t even help myself. I wish I was like Wanda. Or even Natasha…she’s more normal than me and she can make a difference.”
“You think they only way to make a difference is to fight?” Bucky challenged.
“When it’s come to fighting a war, yes.”
He glared at her then. “And what about all the paramedics, the nurses, the doctors?” He sat up straighter. “Or the helpers?”
She squinted at him. “The helpers?”
“There’s always civilians – people just like you – who are helping. Look at any crisis and there’s people saving complete strangers.”
He leaned back in his chair and rubbed his face.
“People like Steve and the Avengers… they fight so people like you can be safe, so people like you don’t have to fight.”
“You’re saying you’re not one of those people?” She asked, not ignoring that Bucky didn’t include himself in any of that.
“I’m a wanted man,” Bucky pointed out.
“So is Steve,” Y/N immediately countered. “So are half of the Avengers.”
“That’s different and you know it, kid.” Bucky sighed. “And they wouldn’t be wanted if it wasn’t for me…”
Y/N’s Kimoyo beads glowed blue suddenly, signaling that she was getting an incoming call. There is no one else it could be besides Steve.
She instantly tapped at them just how Shuri had taught her.
Seconds later, Steve’s hologram lit up Bucky’s tiny hut.
“Steve! Are you OK?” Y/N instantly blurted out.
“I’m fine. Everyone’s the same,” he quickly told her.
She let out a sigh of relief and allowed herself to relax a little bit.
“I’ll be home in a few hours,” Steve added.
“You’re all…coming to Wakanda?” Y/N asked carefully.
“Shuri is the only person that can help Vision. There’s no other option.”
She nodded in understanding.
“Y/N, I’ve already talked to T’Challa. I’m sending you back to the States as soon as I get back.”
“What the hell are you talking about, Steve? I’m not going anywhere.”
Steve expected this reaction. “Y/N, think about what I just said. We’re bringing Vision back. That means we’re bringing the war right to Wakanda. We’re about to make the country the most dangerous place on the planet.”
“I don’t care. I’m not leaving. Not without you.” Something about her word choice made Steve suddenly go quiet.
“We’ll talk about it when I get there,” he told her quietly.
Y/N realized how tired he looked.
“I just wanted to call and check in,” Steve told her.
She didn’t argue with him further, but the look on her face proved that she wasn’t going to give up without a fight.
“I love you,” he told her.
Y/N’s eyes flickered to Bucky. But then quickly went back to the hologram.
“I love you, too.” Steve’s hologram collapsed.
————-
For the first time in awhile, Bucky didn’t keep his distance from Y/N. In fact, he was now doing the complete opposite as he stood on the landing pad of the palace.
Y/N had been fidgeting since they got there, waiting for the team to arrive.
Bucky could tell by the way she held her body and the shadows under her eyes that she didn’t sleep a wink last night.
He’d offered for her to stay and sleep at his place last night, after he finally calmed her down and talked things out with her.
But Y/N immediately declined.
Bucky guessed things were forever changed now that he had admitted his true feelings for her. It’s not like he didn’t expect repercussions for his confession, but it all happened so quickly. He wasn’t ready yet.
“Please don’t let him send me away.”
Bucky blinked.
Y/N had said it so quietly and quickly. It didn’t sound like her. Probably because it came from a place of pure desperation.
He quickly turned to look at her to make sure he wasn’t imagining things.
“Y/N, I don’t think – he’s not gonna listen to me,” Bucky told her gently.
When it came to Y/N and her safety, Bucky didn’t think Steve would listen to anyone. That’s what caused the couples grievances in the first place. Steve would always do what he thought was best for Y/N. It didn’t matter what Bucky, his best friend, had to say.
“He listens to you. Especially when it comes to me,” Y/N told him.
Bucky didn’t know how to respond to that. But it didn’t matter because the quinjet was now lowering to the platform.
Y/N and Bucky stood back, letting T’Challa formally greet the new guests of Wakanda.
It gave Y/N an opportunity to take everyone in. She hadn’t seen Bruce in forever. He looked the same. But he’d clearly been shaken up. Vision couldn’t even stand up straight and had his arm around Wanda, who was helping him off the jet.
As the team headed their way, Bucky stepped forward, but Y/N remained where she stood.
She watched as Bucky started talking to Steve.
Steve’s eyes flickered over Bucky’s shoulder at Y/N. It was the dead giveaway that they were talking about her.
In return, Y/N looked at the ground, not enjoying the feeling of being discussed without actually being a part of the conversation.
But her attention was quickly taken away when Sam and Nat came over to give her giant hugs. They hadn’t seen her since everything went down with the Accords. When Steve returned to Wakanda to be with her, he never brought the team with him.
“It’s good to see you,” Sam told her with a soft smile as he hugged her.
“Have you been training?” Nat asked as she looked her up and down, taking note of the new muscles that had grown on Y/N’s form.
Y/N shrugged. “A little bit.”
“If you’ll all follow me this way,” T’Challa interrupted, guiding the new guests to Shuri’s lab.
Y/N turned and watched them go.
“I’ll be there in a second,” Steve said from behind her.
When she turned to face him, he was standing right behind her. But Bucky was nowhere to be found.
“Hi,” Y/N spoke quietly.
He gave her a sad smile. “Hi.”
Before he could say anything more, Y/N threw herself into his arms. He instantly wrapped himself around her, like it would be enough to protect her from anything in the world. But they both knew that was impossible.
“I shouldn’t have talked about sending you away the way I did,” Steve quickly told her, whispering it into her hair. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking.”
She pulled back to look at him, but stayed in his arms. “You can’t push me away every time there’s danger around, Steve.”
“I know. I know that now.”
“I’m staying here,” Y/N declared, just to make her point.
He nodded.
Whatever Bucky had said to Steve, Y/N had to thank him for it.
“Go on,” Y/N lightly shoved him away. “T’Challa and the team are waiting for you.”
Steve sighed. “I’ll come find you later.”
Y/N nodded.
————
An hour later, they landed.
The reactions could’ve been worse and more panicked.
Y/N didn’t know what to do as she watched guards and Dora Milaje calling out orders and rushing around the palace. She heard them say something about evacuating the city.
Her eyes raced from face to face, trying to find someone she knew to ask what was going on or what she could do to help.
Her panic started increasing as she failed to find anyone.
“Y/N! Y/N!” His voice called through the chaos.
Relief instantly washed over her as she turned around to find Steve walking toward her with such purpose that everyone stayed out of his way.
“Steve, what’s going on?” She asked. Y/N had seen the ships landing, had felt the vibration as one of them crashed into the protective forcefield.
“They’re here,” he explained.
Then she looked down to see that there was a contraption on each of his forearms.
Y/N’s eyes widened, quickly processing what was happening. “What are you doing?” She shot at him, her tone filled with accusation.
“We’re holding them off. Shuri needs time.”
“Steve, no–“
“Y/N, listen to me,” he cut her off and grabbed her shoulders. Next thing she knew, he was ushering her towards the platform again. “Once we leave, you’re going with the Queen Mother. You’ll be safe with her.”
Hovercrafts were on the platform now and warriors were rushing around them.
Y/N was still trying to process what was happening. She couldn’t focus on anything.
“Steve…” she breathed his name.
Y/N was going into shock.
“Hey, look at me,” he gently pulled her face away from all the chaos that surrounded them. And just like that, he was all she saw. “You’re going to be OK.”
Tears started spilling down her cheeks and she was shaking her head. “I’m not worried about me, Steve.”
He pulled her into him. It was a dangerous thing to do: he didn’t know if he’d be able to let go now.
“I love you, Y/N. Whatever happens, you know that, right?”
He felt her nod against him.
She pulled back, eyes still shedding tears. “I’ve always known that.”
Steve gave her a sad smile.
Then she pulled him into a kiss. It didn’t matter that they were surrounded by people. Nobody was paying them any attention.
It was a goodbye kiss. Steve could feel it. It was desperate. It was messy. But there was also an edge to Y/N. He felt emotions shifting off her that he didn’t quite understand.
There was no time to question it.
“Steve, I love you,” she gasped for air. “I love you so much.”
“I know,” he breathed, still holding her face close to his.
Then someone was calling his name.
“Y/N, I have to go now.” She nodded, but still didn’t drop her hold on him. “You have to let me go,” he whispered to her.
Y/N took in a deep breath and finally took a step back.
“I’ll be OK,” Steve told her as she started slowly walking backwards. He didn’t want to look away from her yet. He couldn’t.
But then he was finally immersed in the crowd of people preparing for battle. She’d lost him.
But then another thought occurred to her.
“Bucky!” She gasped.
Now her eyes were racing around her, trying to find him.
By some miracle, Y/N spotted him as he was about to board a hovercraft.
She jumped into a run, trying her best to avoid running into anyone. She slammed into a few shoulders, but she didn’t that stop her.
“Bucky!” She called and he instantly turned at both his name and her voice.
Y/N was trying to catch her breath when she stopped in front of him. “Were you really going to leave without saying goodbye?” She accused.
Bucky at least looked a little guilty. “I’ve never been good at goodbyes, kid.”
“Can you promise me something?” She asked him slowly.
“Anything.”
“When this is all over, can we go back to how things used to be between us? I don’t want to hurt you. But I can’t – I don’t want you to keep pushing me away.”
He thought about it for a moment, but nodded his head. “I promise.”
Y/N wrapped him in a hug, burying her face in his neck.
“Don’t worry, kid. I’ll look after that punk,” Bucky breathed into her hair.
“I want you to look after yourself,” she countered.
“Barnes, we’re heading out,” Nat said from atop the hovercraft.
Y/N stepped back from him before she could do anything she regretted.
Bucky gave her a look that she couldn’t quite read.
Y/N wondered…if things were different, if Bucky wasn’t so worried about hurting the people around him, what would he say to her in this moment?
The wind rushed around Y/N as she watched the hovercrafts take off.
Besides the guards who were waiting to escort her to the secure location with the Queen Mother... Y/N was all alone.
The tears slid silently down her face now. She didn’t make a sound, just watched them all getting smaller and smaller as they got closer to the enemy.
Y/N already knew she wasn’t going to see them again.
-----------
Chapter 28
I did it! (don’t worry, this aint the last chapter. i’m not that lucky 😒)
Non-Sequential [Ch. 26]
Pairing: Pre-Serum Steve Rogers/Steve Rogers x Reader
One night, Steve Rogers met a beautiful dame named Y/N. He hadn’t intended on letting her get away. But fate had other ideas. Y/N appeared and disappeared in his life so hauntingly that Steve started to wonder if she was an angel meant to watch over him.
Word Count: 3,100
Chapter 25
Steve immediately noticed Y/N’s silence as they walked to the platform where his quinjet awaited him. He took her hand in his and gave it a gentle squeeze as a small gesture of comfort. When he glanced down at her, she gave him a sad smile.
When they finally reached the platform, Bucky was already there waiting.
Y/N still seemed off.
“Hey, what’s wrong? We’ve done this before. We can do it again,” Steve told Y/N quietly. He thought she’d been use to watching him go after all this time.
“I know. I know,” Y/N sighed.
But before he could respond, she wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his chest. He was wearing his tattered uniform. It smelled of smoke, sweat, and gunpowder. But she didn’t care.
“I’ll be fine, Y/N.” Steve whispered into her ear, trying anything to comfort her.
Y/N thought she was the one that was always leaving. Now it felt like he was the one doing that more.
“Go make sure they’re safe,” Y/N whispered into his shoulder.
Steve nodded.
He pulled back to kiss her. It was a quick, but passionate peck.
Except Y/N wanted more and pulled him in for a deeper kiss.
Steve smiled shyly and pressed his forehead to her’s.
“I’ll be back before you know it,” he promised.
Y/N just nodded and nudged him in the direction of the quinjet.
But Steve made a stop first, talking to Bucky.
Y/N couldn’t hear what they were saying. But Bucky made a quick glance at her, and she assumed Steve was asking him to look after her, per usual.
She thought Bucky would make his way over to her once Steve boarded the quinjet. But Bucky just gave her a final glance and made his leave.
Y/N sighed.
She was still struggling with the idea that Bucky had feelings for her.
Yes, they had grown close. Yes, she had started to rely on him when Steve wasn’t around. Hell, she relied on him more than Steve when she was fighting with Steve.
But Y/N couldn’t wrap her mind around Bucky actually loving her.
Some days she struggled with the concept of Steve loving her.
None of it made any sense to her.
But she knew one thing for sure…She was tied to both of these men. Her mind and body knew it and her powers proved it. She was whipped through time, bound to the important events in their lives and having no choice but to be pulled right to them.
—————————
Bucky was heating up the kettle when he heard the goats making a ruckus.
“I swear to god, Frankenstein, if you’ve let everyone out of the enclosure again…” he muttered to himself as he made his way to the door.
But he stopped in his tracks when he saw that the enclosure was closed and intact.
Instead of finding all of the animals roaming free, they were all huddled together – even Betsy and Humphrey.
Y/N was sitting in a circle, like she was Snow White. But in actuality, Snow White – the white pygmy goat – was sitting in Y/N’s lap, cuddling with her.
Bucky allowed himself to watch the scene for a moment, before his arrival was noticed.
All his pets wanted her attention. Y/N smiled and giggled as she tried to give them what they wanted. He smiled when he heard her jokingly whine about not having enough hands.
Bucky sighed and finally made his way over. He leaned forward, balancing his one forearm on the railing of the enclosure.
“What brings you all the way out here?” He asked.
Y/N barely looked up at him for a second before she brought her attention back to the animals.
“I don’t know. I just realized I haven’t been down here a lot recently, I guess.”
“Well, you’re always welcome. And, as you can see, the little devils missed you.”
Y/N looked up at him again, staring into his blue eyes. “Am I always welcome?” She challenged.
Bucky tilted his head, confused at what she was implying. “Of course, kid. Always.”
“Did I do something wrong?” Y/N asked, a sadness clear in her tone.
Bucky stood up straight then. “What?”
“It’s just…I realized we don’t spend as much time together as we used to. And when Steve’s here, I barely even see your face. Have I done something to upset you? Are you mad at me? You can tell me, you know.”
Bucky sighed.
He didn’t want to have this conversation. Not at all.
“No, Y/N. I’m not mad at you,” he muttered. Then he scratched the back of his neck. “I was just trying to give you and Steve space.”
Y/N squinted in annoyance. “That’s kinda funny…since I don’t remember ever asking for that.”
Bucky let out a long exhale. “Y/N,” his voice was stern, as if he were telling her to ‘cut the shit.’ “What’s this really about?”
She stood then, gently placing Snow White on the ground and tiptoeing around the other animals so she was just a few inches from Bucky’s face.
The railing separated their bodies and stopped her from getting any closer.
Her attitude and meddling had been abandoned now.
In their place was fear. Bucky could see it in her y/e/c eyes.
“Steve told me something today…” Y/N finally said, but her eyes couldn’t meet his now.
She picked at the splintered wood on the railing.
“Yeah?” Bucky calmly asking her to continue. He truly didn’t know where this was going anymore.
What could Steve have possibly told her that would cause such behavior?
Her eyes flickered up, proving that she needed to watch his face as he told her the next thing. She had to read him because she knew how he reacted would be the only answer that she needed. What he said would mean nothing.
“Is it true?” Y/N whispered with a quiver. “Are you in love with me, Bucky?”
Bucky swore his heart was going to beat out of his chest. He shifted his weight back and forth, doing absolutely anything to buy himself some time.
“Y/N…” he started.
“Don’t,” She cut him off in warning. “Please don’t lie to me.”
So instead Bucky just gave her a look. But it was so much more than that. With it he was telling her if he couldn’t lie, then he wasn’t going to say anything at all.
And in that moment, Y/N knew Steve had been telling the truth.
“Are you mad Steve told me?” She asked, her voice shaking.
That wasn’t really what the conversation was about or even what she wanted to know. But she didn’t know what else to say. And she was trying to avoid actually acknowledging that Bucky just admitted to being in love with her.
“No,” Bucky quickly answered. “No, he had every right to.”
Y/N got quiet then.
Bucky wished he could read her mind, just for this second. What was going on in that beautiful head of hers?
All at once, Y/N’s bottom lip started trembling and her eyes flooded with tears.
“I’m so sorry,” she whimpered.
Bucky’s gut reaction was to jump the fence, to pull her to him.
Watching her cry was never easy and now he was the only reason for it.
“Kid…” He cleared his throat, not being able to handle watching any of it any longer. “Y/N, please don’t cry.” She turned to the side, half hiding herself from him as she tried to pull herself together. But it was useless. The tears just kept sliding down her cheeks.
Bucky kept shifting his weight, wanting nothing more to hold her and tell her she did nothing wrong. That it was his stupid heart that he couldn’t control. And maybe his damaged brain that made him fall for his best friend’s girl.
“Y/N, will you please come here?” He asked her ever so quietly.
But she shook her head.
She didn’t trust herself to be near him anymore. She didn’t want him to hold her. She didn’t want to torture him any more. She didn’t want to continue not loving him the same way he loved her.
Bucky ran his hand through his hair. “Y/N, I don’t…I don’t know what to say to you to make this better.” He shook his head. “Please, just tell me what you want me to say.”
Y/N gasped.
But it wasn’t because of what he said.
She looked down at her hands to see that they were disappearing. She was starting to travel.
Her gaze flickered up to his.
Bucky’s widened as he realized what was happening.
For the first time since she started time traveling, she wasn’t scared.
——————————
The first thing Y/N felt was the cold tile on her feet.
But when she looked around, she knew exactly where she was. It took a moment for her eyes to adjust, since it was clearly the middle of the night.
Nevertheless, it only took her a few seconds to recognize that she was at the Avengers compound in upstate New York.
Steve’s old home. The place that had basically become her own home.
Before the Avengers fell apart, at least.
But the more important question was when was she?
Practically forgetting that she was completely naked, Y/N started tiptoeing down the hallways. Her body immediately started taking her to Steve’s room.
When she finally reached it, she was grateful to find that the door was unlocked.
There was a lump in the bed, a lump that couldn’t be anything else besides Steve Roger’s sleeping body.
Y/N was surprised her entrance didn’t immediately wake him up. He must be exhausted if he was sleeping through an intruder walking into his bedroom.
She tiptoed to the bed, “Steve?”
That was finally what started to stir Steve.
The super soldier would’ve jumped to a defensive stance. But his body immediately recognized her voice and knew there was nothing to fear. So, instead, he turned and squinted through the darkness of his bedroom.
“Y/N?” He asked with confusion.
Then he realized she was completely naked.
“What year is it?” Y/N whispered.
It all made sense.
Steve looked at her differently now, realizing that this was not his Y/N, the Y/N that belonged in this time period.
“It’s 2015,” he told her gently.
“Where am I?” She asked.
But she wasn’t talking about the location she was standing in. Y/N was asking about where her present self was currently.
“You went home for your mom’s birthday party. You…umm…you didn’t want me to come with,” Steve explained. Y/N nodded, remembering exactly what he was referencing.
“Are you from the future or the past?” Steve asked her.
He learned to keep his questions generic. The less he knew, the better. But it was hard not to try and get a few details in situations such as this.
“Future,” Y/N mumbled.
That’s when Steve saw the tears on her cheeks that had yet to dry. Even in the dark room, he could tell her eyes were slightly swollen and red from crying.
“Are you OK?” He sounded completely awake now.
“Yeah,” she answered. “Umm…can I just lay in bed with you…you know, until I go back?”
What she didn’t realize was how ridiculous Steve found it that she even felt the need to ask. He would never deny her such a request. Ever.
Steve sat up quickly and opened the covers on the other side of the bed. “O-Of course,” he stuttered hastily.
Then he glanced at her naked body. It wasn’t objectifying. He was used to her skin. In fact, he liked that she didn’t seem shy about it in his presence anymore. That must have come from their time together, seeing as she was from the future.
“Do you want to borrow some clothes? You already have some stuff in that drawer over there…”
Y/N glanced over, already knowing exactly where her clothes would be.
“Can I borrow some of yours?” She asked with slight embarrassment.
Steve smiled shyly. He knew she always preferred laying around and sleeping in his clothes. No matter how comfy her pajamas and loungewear was, his clothing brought her another level of comfort and safety.
He watched her as she moved around the room and grabbed a pair of his shorts and a hoodie.
Then she slid into the other side of the bed.
Y/N looked at him hesitantly before closing the distance between them and burrowed herself into him.
Steve immediately wrapped his arms around her.
“You OK?” He whispered to her.
He felt her nod against him.
“You’ve been crying,” he pointed out.
She stayed quiet.
“Was it me? Did I do something?”
She shook her head. “No, it wasn’t you. But you were gone – away on a mission.”
Steve could tell there was something more she wanted to say, so he waited patiently for her to continue. “I was really upset. And I guess…I guess I was thinking that I missed you and that I…needed you,” she shook her head. “Next thing I know, I was traveling and I ended up…here and there you are.”
Steve held her tightly and kissed her forehead.
“I’m here. I got you, Y/N.” He whispered, rubbing her back and trying to relax the muscles that he could feel were so tense.
The room went quiet again for a few moments.
But then Y/N took in a quick breath. “My mom’s birthday party…” She muttered quickly. Then she pulled back just enough so she could look at him.
“Huh?” Steve asked, a little confused by the sudden subject change.
“You were upset that I didn’t ask you to come. You never brought it up, but I knew.”
Steve didn’t confirm or deny it. But his set jaw answered the question.
“It wasn’t because I didn’t want you to meet my family,” Y/N defended. “I’ve had boyfriends before you. Not great ones. But I did have them…I just never brought any of them home. Probably for that reason.”
Steve was listening closely.
“I was scared. I thought my family would ruin our little bubble of happiness. I was scared something would happen and you wouldn’t want to – I don’t know – be with me or something.”
“Y/N…” Steve started.
“It’s not because you did anything wrong. I just thought you should know.” Y/N cut him off to clarify.
“Why didn’t you just tell me all that before you left?” He asked.
Y/N laughed. “It’s easier coming from the future and explaining my past self than it is telling you the truth in the moment.”
Steve smiled. “Fair enough.”
He kissed her forehead. “And just for the record, nothing your family did would ever make me stop loving you.”
“Well, I know that now. But the me you know doesn’t – not yet.”
“Thank you…for telling me.”
Y/N’s eyes closed and she gave a sleepy nod.
But when she woke up, she wasn’t in Steve’s bed any longer.
She was back in her bed in Wakanda...alone.
She traced the spot on the other side of the bed that Steve would be in if she were still in the past.
She looked at her device to see if Steve had tried calling her. But there were no messages.
She decided to take a shower and try to relax her muscles. Sometimes it still ached after traveling.
When she got out, towel still wrapped around her body, there was a knock on her door.
She was surprised to find Bucky waiting on the other side.
“Are you OK?” He immediately asked, looking down at her body for injuries.
Y/N shrunk under his gaze, feeling vulnerable as she stood just in a towel.
“I’m fine,” she mumbled. “How did you know I was back?”
“Shuri made this thing that tells me and her when you’ve returned from traveling. There are heat sensors that recognize your presence or something… I don’t really know how it works.”
“I’m fine, Bucky. Nothing happened while I was gone.”
“Good,” he answered. Then he shifted his weight.
Y/N could tell he was stuck in his head.
“That’s not the only reason I came here,” he finally admitted.
“OK…” she replied.
“I am in love with you,” he admitted.
Y/N’s eyes widened.
“Whatever Steve told you… it’s all true.” He shook his head. “I didn’t know what to say to you. Everything felt like it was the wrong thing to tell you. I couldn’t lie to you, but I thought admitting the truth was just as bad.”
“Bucky…” Y/N started.
“Please, just let me finish,” he begged.
She seemed surprised but then slightly nodded.
“I don’t expect anything from you. I never did. Steve loves you more than anything in the entire world. More importantly, you love him just as much.” He rubbed his face. “I started distancing myself because I thought it would make Steve realize that I am never going to get in between the two of you.” Then he looked at the ground. “Not that I’d ever have a chance anyway.”
Then he noticed that Y/N’s face was scrunched up, deep in thought. He knew that look.
“What? What is it?” He asked.
“I just…I don’t…Why did it have to be me, Bucky?”
Bucky laughed lightly at the question and shook his head.
“There’s still a lot I don’t remember. Doesn’t matter if it was before the war or when I was brainwashed, so much is still lost.” His blue eyes tore into her gaze. “But every memory of you is there, Y/N.”
She sniffed, not even realizing that tears had started. “Is that why you saved me from them? Because you knew me, even through the brainwashing?”
“I saved you because I already loved you – before they ever controlled my mind. It didn’t matter that they controlled me. I just knew I couldn’t let anything happen to you.”
Y/N sobbed at the confession. “I didn’t – I never meant to hurt you, Bucky.” Y/N finally whispered.
“You didn’t. Damnit, Y/N. Please don’t ever think that.”
“I’m sorry.” She practically whimpered. “I’m sorry that I can’t choose you.”
More tears slid down her cheeks.
Bucky reached forward and gently wiped some away with his thumb.
He gave her a sad smile. “Let’s not lie to ourselves, kid. I was never a choice to begin with.”
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chapter 27
For the three people still reading this stupid fucking series, there ya go.
Non-Sequential [Ch. 25]
Pairing: Pre-Serum Steve Rogers/Steve Rogers x Reader
One night, Steve Rogers met a beautiful dame named Y/N. He hadn’t intended on letting her get away. But fate had other ideas. Y/N appeared and disappeared in his life so hauntingly that Steve started to wonder if she was an angel meant to watch over him.
Word Count: 2,100
Chapter 24
2 YEARS LATER - Wakanda
“Y/N, if you don’t stop fidgeting, we’re going to have to do another session.” Even though it was a warning, there was playfulness evident in his voice.
“Sorry…I–I’m just nervous,” Y/N admitted.
To prove the point even further, her chest was rising higher than usual, giving away her heavier and erratic breathing.
Steve did a double take and quickly put down his pencil.
He promptly walked over to the bed.
The bed where Y/N was completely naked and trying to hold the relaxed pose Steve had requested from her just 20 minutes ago.
Steve leaned over her, only looking into her eyes. “You know, you really don’t have to do this.”
It hadn’t even been him that had requested such a thing.
Y/N had offered.
Steve had made a few mischievous and playful comments in the past about having her sit for him. But Y/N finally put together that he would never actually ask her to pose nude for him to draw.
So, she finally just put the offer out there herself.
Despite the fact that Steve had seen her naked hundreds of times and had already memorized every inch of her body, he still blushed like a little schoolboy when she had offered.
“Steve, how many times have we had sex?!” Y/N had squealed, laughing hysterically at his bashfulness.
Steve recovered quickly and didn’t take kindly to her teasing. He grabbed her roughly, pulling her into his lap and playfully biting her shoulder.
But now he sat on Y/N’s bed in Wakanda’s royal palace, her body completely open for his artistic interpretation.
“I know I don’t have to. But I wanted to do something nice for you…”
Steve tilted his head. “What for?”
She gave him a shy smile before saying, “Because I love you, obviously.”
Steve leaned down and kissed her then. He couldn’t help himself when she said stuff like that to him, and in such a way.
When they pulled apart, Y/N grinned at him.
“I happen to know you’ve got quite a good memory. I’m sure you’d have no problem pulling countless images of my naked body from your consciousness.” Y/N added with a cheeky smirk. “But what’s the fun in that?”
Steve allowed his gaze to quickly flicker across her naked body.
A man born in this time would probably tell her how sexy she was or how hard it was for him to give up the drawing altogether and just have her.
Steve wished he could say those things to her.
But that wasn’t Steve at all.
He might have been dropped into the 21st century, pumped full of steroids, with women (and some men) throwing themselves at him any chance they got. But Steve would always been that scrawny, shy, and bashful kid that got beat up in the alleys of Brooklyn.
“You’re beautiful,” is what he said instead.
Now Y/N blushed.
“Just sit still for an hour or so, OK?” He asked gently.
The way he asked made it clear that Y/N was the one in control. If she changed her mind at any moment, Steve would happily stop.
He waited for her to give a shy, but insistent, nod. Then he moved back to his place across the room where his sketchpad and pencils waited for him.
“Have you drawn other women naked before?” Y/N asked.
If she had to sit still for this long, she should at least make him entertain her.
Steve coughed, clearly caught off guard by the question.
He cleared his throat. “N-No. Never.”
“Not even Peggy?” She asked innocently.
“Peggy and I were never…” he paused “…intimate.”
Y/N had always assumed that. It was a different time. They were in the middle of a war. Sex wasn’t tossed around as casually as it was today. Steve was a gentleman, and Peggy had her standards and expectations.
“Really?”
Steve just nodded.
“That’s too bad…” Y/N sighed. “For her.” She quickly clarified.
Steve’s gaze shot up to her. “What do you mean?”
Y/N looked him up and down as best she could with a sly smirk. “She never got to have the…I guess…full Steve Rogers experience.”
There was that famous Steve Rogers blush again.
“How are you the one blushing when I’m the one completely naked and at your disposal?” Y/N cried out in laughter.
Steve rolled his eyes but kept his focus on his sketchpad. “Always such a saucy little minx…” He muttered, just loud enough for her to hear.
It earned him another giggle from her.
—————————————
“Steve, you promised!” Y/ whined.
“OK. OK. OK.” He finally gave in.
“I posed naked for you. Naked! It’s not like I’m asking you to take off your clothes…though I wouldn’t complain.” Y/N had her camera strapped around her neck.
Steve had never been one of her subjects. And she missed taking photos. Despite being in a new and one of the most beautiful countries in the world, she had no desire to blow the dust off of her DSLR.
But now she wanted to take photos. But more importantly, she wanted to take photos of her boyfriend, something he had never let her do before.
An idea suddenly popped into her head. “Wait!”
Then she shuffled around a suitcase that looked like it had exploded. She managed to find a mini-tripod.
Y/N started setting it up on the ground, attaching her camera to it.
“What are you doing?” Steve asked with an amused smirk.
“I’m going to take a picture of us!”
“Us?”
Y/N stopped what she was doing to look at him. “Have you ever realized that we don’t have a single photo together?”
Steve blinked and then his smirk instantly dropped.
He hadn’t realized that.
Y/N watched him, half expecting him to turn down the idea. But he opened his arms where he was sitting on the floor.
“Come here, you.”
She smiled and sat down beside him.
“Nope. That won’t do,” he told her before picking her up like she weighed nothing and sat her right in his lap.
Y/N giggled and shimmied so they were posed right for the camera.
“OK. It’s on a timer. 10 photos. One every 10 seconds,” she explained. “That light will start blinking fast right before it takes a photo.”
Steve nodded, already not paying attention to the blinking light.
He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her shoulder right as the shutter went off.
“Steve! We’re not going to be able to see your face!” Y/N laughed.
“Don’t worry. I have 9 more to mess up.”
Nine photos later, Y/N was flipping through the SD card. Steve watched as she smiled at them.
Y/N slowly looked up at him with a shy smile. “We’re pretty cute.”
Steve chuckled. She was the cute one.
Then she flipped her camera around and showed him a couple of them. The first one was of Steve kissing her shoulder. Y/N had her mouth half open, clearly about to yell at him for ruining the photo. But Steve liked that about it. Another was of them looking into each other’s eyes without even meaning to. Thankfully, there were a couple of them both just smiling at the camera. But those were Steve’s least favorite.
Things had been surprisingly good between them recently. It was almost like they were back in their honeymoon phase from when they’d first found each other in both of their presents.
Steve didn’t want to bring it to Y/N’s attention or ask questions, afraid that it would somehow ruin it or pop the bubble of bliss they were currently in.
“Sure you want to go to this thing tonight?” Steve asked her.
“Yeah, why?”
“I don’t know. Kind of wanted to just spend time alone with you,” Steve admitted.
“It’s the biggest celebration in Wakanda every year. Shuri and T’Challa sounded like they really wanted us to go. And after everything they’ve done for me – for us…”
“You’re right,” Steve said with sudden guilt.
Y/N kept forgetting the name but it was a festival in Wakanda that celebrated the coming of spring every year. There were food vendors, art, music, and peopled dancing in the streets.
Shuri had even given Y/N and Steve customary outfits to wear.
“Did you tell Bucky to meet us here?” Y/N asked him.
“Oh…umm…no. Should I have?”
Y/N titled her head. “Well, I figured we could all go together…”
“Right. I’ll give him a call. Tell him to meet us here in a few hours.”
——————————
Steve and Bucky walked slowly, keeping a few yards behind Y/N.
Both men watched her as Shuri explained all of the things around them. Despite being the royal princess, everyone respected Shuri’s distance. It probably helped that she had six Dora Milaje surrounding her too.
“She seem different to you?” Steve asked Bucky as people danced and laughed around them.
Bucky followed his gaze on Y/N, who was throwing her head back and laughing at something Shuri whispered to her.
He couldn’t hold back the shy smirk that grew on his lips.
“What do you mean?” Bucky asked.
“I don’t know. She seems…happier and – I don’t know – lighter.” Steve thought for a moment. “Like she’s not scared she’s going to travel at any moment.”
“And that’s a bad thing?” Bucky challenged.
But in all honesty, he had noticed it too.
“Of course not,” Steve answered.
“Have you asked her?”
“No.” Steve admitted with a little guilt. “I’m scared I’m going to ruin it if I do.”
“Then maybe you should stop being so suspicious of everything and just enjoy it,” Bucky raised an eyebrow, daring Steve to fight him on it.
Y/N skipped over to them. “You guys, you have to try this food over here!”
Steve smiled at her excitement and immediately took her offered hand.
However, Bucky’s reaction wasn’t the same. “You two go on ahead,” Bucky mumbled, only really looked at Steve and not Y/N. But his expression proved there was no room for argument.
Y/N didn’t hide her disappointment, her smile immediately dropped and her brow furrowed. But she still pulled Steve away with her.
“Is he mad at me or something?” She asked Steve when they were a safe distance away.
“I don’t know so.”
“I feel like he’s been avoiding me. It’s been happening for awhile now. Did I do something wrong?”
Steve’s mouth went dry. Because he knew why Bucky would do such a thing. But now he was debating on whether it was appropriate to share that knowledge with Y/N or not.
What was a man supposed to do when he knew his best friend was in love with his girlfriend and the girlfriend didn’t know?
There was no guidebook to this.
“Y/N,” Steve turned to fully face her. “Bucky’s fine. Don’t worry about it.”
She narrowed her gaze. “You know something.” Then she let go of his hand. “People don’t realize you’re a good liar. But you’ve never been good at lying to me.”
Then she turned around and started picking at the food she’d been telling him about. She was clearly irritated with him now.
Steve watched her.
His heart was beating faster and he felt sick.
Was he really about to do this? What this even the right thing to do?
“He’s in love with you, Y/N.” Steve told her quietly.
But he knew she heard him because she completely stopped what she was doing and froze. Her entire body was filled with tension.
“You can’t be all that surprised by it, right? You’ve really never noticed?” He tried to be almost joking about it, but it was the wrong move.
“He’s not mad at you,” Steve clarified. “He’s avoiding you because he doesn’t know what else to do. He thinks by keeping his distance, he’s doing good by me – or you – hell, I’m not even sure myself.”
Y/N finally looked at him. “Steve, he doesn’t – there’s no – just…no.”
Then she got lost in her head.
Steve could practically see it. She wasn’t with him anymore.
Then her eyes glazed over in tears and she kept shaking her head. “I didn’t – Steve, I didn’t…”
He rushed forward and gripped her face gently.
“Hey, hey, hey,” he calmed her. “You didn’t do anything wrong. Do you hear me? I’m not mad. Bucky’s not mad. You did nothing wrong.”
Then Y/N was looking around for Bucky. As if just finding him and looking into his eyes would be the final confirmation that Steve was telling the truth.
How could she be so stupid?
Yes, she cared about Bucky. She loved him, as a friend and as someone who was so important to Steve.
Had she led him on? Could she have prevented all of this?
Bucky was nowhere to be found. He had disappeared, leaving Y/N and Steve alone.
Steve was about to comfort her further, but a kingsguard interrupted them.
“Captain Rogers, there was an urgent call for you,” he told Steve.
He nodded. “What is it about?”
The kingsguard passed him a tablet that had a message on it.
Steve’s eyes flickered across the text wildly.
“What? What is it?” Y/N asked.
“Wanda. Nat’s worried. Thinks she’s staying in one place for too long.”
“She’s with Vision?” Y/N asked.
Steve nodded. “I have to go.”
Y/N nodded. Suddenly her problems seemed silly and trivial.
--------------------------------------
Chapter 26
ughhhhhhhh. comment. don’t comment. i don’t even care anymore. i’m so over this series. 😂
Non-Sequential [Ch. 24]
Pairing: Pre-Serum Steve Rogers/Steve Rogers x Reader
One night, Steve Rogers met a beautiful dame named Y/N. He hadn’t intended on letting her get away. But fate had other ideas. Y/N appeared and disappeared in his life so hauntingly that Steve started to wonder if she was an angel meant to watch over him.
Word Count: 3,000
Chapter 23
1943 - Italy
Steve doodled as the rain poured down around him.
His pencil traced back and forth over the dancing monkey.
“Steve?” A voice said behind him.
He did a half glance over his shoulder and quickly did a double take when he found Y/N soaking wet with only an oversized military jacket around her shoulders.
He shot to his feet.
“Y/N!”
Steve rushed forward and pulled her into his arms.
She was freezing.
He immediately took off his coat and wrapped it on top of the other one that was the only thing keeping her from being completely naked.
“Are you OK? Are you hurt? How long have you been here? Were you looking for me long?” He rattled off question after question.
She smiled. “Take a breath, Steve. I’m fine.”
She pointed for him to sit back down and followed suit.
He did as she said. Then he suddenly got bashful and embarrassed. He shifted his weight awkwardly as if he was trying to hide from her gaze.
Y/N caught on rather quickly. “How does it feel?”
Steve was speechless.
“This is your first time seeing me since your operation, isn’t it?” Y/N added, but she already knew the answer.
He just nodded, too uncomfortable to meet her gaze.
“I bet you can’t keep the girls off you,” Y/N teased.
Steve blushed. “Well, I don’t know about that – I mean, don’t be ridiculous.”
Y/N giggled.
His face dropped, “You were right. It did work.”
She gave him a warm grin. “Told you that you were the right man, didn’t I?”
Steve frowned. “Yeah, except now I’m just their show pony.”
“Now what would Agent Carter think of that?” Y/N teased.
It was such a strange game to play, pushing Steve toward Peggy when Y/N knew that she would be Steve’s second love because of her.
Y/N respected Peggy, appreciated what she’d taught Steve about love – especially what she taught him about loving a strong, independent woman.
But there were still times when jealousy reared it’s ugly head. Y/N hated those times.
Steve’s eyes widened at the mentioning of Peggy.
“Don’t think I’ve forgotten about her,” Y/N smirked.
“How are you?” Steve changed the subject. His eyes were serious and genuine. “Last time I saw you, you were upset with me – future me, that is.” He cleared his throat. “I don’t know what I’m saying. You could be visiting me from before that time. This all gets rather confusing, huh?”
Y/N chuckled at his adorable frustration and confusion, and gave him a shy smile. “No, you were right the first time. I’m visiting from further into the future.” She nodded, “Things are better. I forgave you. Don’t think there will ever be a time when I can’t.”
Steve exhaled, relieved that there wouldn’t be a time when Y/N would stop being his friend, stop talking to him, stop visiting him through time.
Y/N’s eyes glanced at Steve’s sketchbook.
“Feeling like a dancing monkey, Steve?” Her tone was playful, but the question was serious.
He quickly closed the book. He cleared his throat. “I’m traveling with dancing girls, trying to get people to buy war bonds.”
Y/N nodded, “Wars are expensive.”
“But I could be doing more,” he snapped back.
“Then do more, Steve.”
“I can’t – I’m not even officially in the army.”
Y/N laughed, “Since when have you ever followed the rules?”
He laughed too.
She carefully reached out and took his sketchbook.
Steve tensed as flipped through it. She wasn’t surprised to see a portrait or two of Peggy. There was also some of his mother. Y/N was wondering why Steve hadn’t taken to sketching any of the girls in the dancing troop he’d been traveling with.
“You ever do any sketches of…” Y/N was about to tease him and ask about drawing her. But her words died out when she flipped to two pages of portraits.
Both were of her.
She was in some form of Steve’s clothes in both of them. A ill-fitting shirt falling off her shoulder in one, pants bunching at her ankles in another.
“You weren’t ever supposed to see those…” Steve mumbled, scratching the back of his neck and lowering his head so she couldn’t see his blush.
“I’m flattered,” Y/N admitted. She took in all the details. “You made me rather beautiful, though.”
Steve scoffed without meaning to. “I only drew you how you are.”
It was Y/N who was blushing now.
Yes, in the present, where she was together with Steve, he told Y/N all the time how beautiful he found her.
But for some reason, hearing it from innocent, sweet Steve Rogers was different. He held no feelings for her and, as far as he knew, he never had a chance with Y/N. But that didn’t stop him from letting her know that she was indeed a beautiful woman.
Y/N flipped back to a drawing of Peggy. “You should tell her how you feel.”
“She doesn’t – I’m not – don’t be ridiculous, Y/N.” Steve fumbled around with his words.
No matter how long he knew Y/N, her direct way of speaking still caught him off guard every so often. The only times Y/N did not speak her mind clearly was when she could not tell Steve hints and secrets of the future.
“She does. Don’t be an idiot, Steve.” Y/N looked around. “You’re in the middle of a war. You need to make sure you find something worth fighting for.”
“And what about you?” Steve asked gently.
“I’m not fighting a war. At least… not yet.” Her eyes glazed over at the thought.
“That’s not what I meant.” Then he shifted his weight, trying to decide if he should say what he wanted to. “I meant… is there someone back where you’re from – uh – telling you – telling you that you’re beautiful.”
Y/N smirked at Steve’s awkwardness. He’d lost so much of it after all of his hardships. He’d gained so much more confidence; he was more self-assured now.
“I do,” she admitted softly.
She was going to make another joke about him drawing her, but the words got caught in her throat when she flipped to the next page.
Bucky.
Bucky standing with his crisp and clean and brand new military uniform. Hat tilted a little sideways. And that famous Bucky Barnes smirk on his lips.
Y/N’s fingers traced over the lines without even realizing it.
“He’s missing,” she blurted out.
“What?”
Her eyes shot up to him. “You’re going to find out in a few minutes. This is the 107th – or what’s left of it, I guess.”
“Y/N, you never tell – what are you saying? Bucky – is he – is he dead?”
“No, he’s alive. A prisoner of war, but alive.”
“You’ve never told me something like that before,” Steve said slowly, clearly still trying to process the news.
“Sometimes I get sick of fighting time,” Y/N sighed.
“I have to go after him,” Steve’s shoulders straightened and he was handling a surge of determination.
Y/N smiled, “Yes, you do.”
Then fear filled his gaze, “I know you can’t - or you won’t – tell me…but is he – will he be OK?”
Y/N stared into his eyes for a moment. “Yes, he will be fine.”
‘For now…’ she added in her mind.
Steve was surprised she continued to tell him of the future.
Y/N looked over her shoulder as if she could see something. But when Steve followed her gaze, not even his super-soldier sight spotted anything.
“I have to run before she finds you,” Y/N told him. “When it comes to her, you’re a terrible liar. And I don’t want you to have to explain how a naked, American woman got onto this base, completely undetected.”
Steve shot to his feet. “You’re leaving already.”
“I’m sorry, Steve. But you’ve got to go save Bucky and then you gotta get the girl.”
Then she quickly kissed him on the cheek, instantly making him go red.
He made a step for her, not wanting her to leave already.
But she was already quickly turning back to him, accidentally bringing their faces far too close to be considered just friendly.
“Try not to kiss Private Lorraine,” Y/N breathed, caught off guard by their closeness that could easily be seen as intimate.
Steve’s brow furrowed. But he couldn’t stop his gaze from flicking down to her lips quickly. “I-I don’t even know a Private Lorraine.”
“Well, you will. And you should stay away from her. You should stay away from all women like her, OK?”
He nodded, not wanting to disappoint her.
“It’ll make sense soon. I promise.”
Lo and behold, Peggy was the next woman in his life to surprise him and show up out of nowhere.
—————-
PRESENT - Wakanda
Y/N quickly walked down the halls of the royal palace. She could hear the two kings guards tailing her.
One of them cleared their throat, “Ms. Y/L/N, if it is Sergeant Barnes you are heading toward, he is actually in the training facility.”
Her brow furrowed. She was going to find Bucky, just like she always did when Steve was gone and she was lonely.
However, he was alone at his hut less and less it seemed.
Y/N would’ve been happy, proud that he was socializing himself with new people more and more frequently. But that didn’t seem to be his motivation.
She didn’t want to jump to any ridiculous conclusions, but she started to feel like Bucky didn’t want to be alone with her.
Even when he had asked for him to teach her self-defense, Bucky insisted that they also enlist some of the Dora Milaje. He said it would help since he only had one arm and he didn’t want her education to suffer because of it. But Y/N knew Bucky could take down Steve with a single arm if he so wished, therefore it felt like weak reasoning.
Y/N had been in Wakanda for a year now and she’d found a routine in her life.
She no longer felt like a foreigner, but a proper member of Wakandan society – despite the fact that she lived in a royal palace.
Steve would need to leave to meet up with the team every so often, but he always tried his best not to return as quickly as possible.
Y/N still had nightmares of her kidnapping, her torture, her near death experience that she could only blame Hydra for. She was sick of hating her time traveling affliction.
When Steve asked her if she was having them when he was away, Y/N always lied. What good would it do either of them for him to worry and feel guilty about being away?
The nightmares were one of the main reasons she finally asked Bucky to teach her self-defense.
Y/N would’ve asked Steve, but she didn’t want to make him stay in captain mode any longer than he already did. He also was almost too patient with her. She needed to be pushed.
When Y/N walked into the gym, Bucky was doing one-armed pushups.
He had no shirt on and there was just a pair of black shorts and sneakers – which Shuri most definitely designed – covering his body.
Wakandan hip-hop was playing on the speakers, which was why Y/N didn’t recognize it. Shuri had taken it upon herself to help Y/N teach Bucky anything and everything pop culture.
The kings guards left Y/N to it. Whenever she was with Bucky, they didn’t see the need to linger. He would protect her.
Bucky heard their arrival and his head snapped up.
He quickly jumped to his feet when he spotted Y/N and gave a small nod of acknowledgement to her guards.
Y/N tried not to stare at Bucky’s ridiculously muscular and sweaty chest. She did. But it was damn near impossible.
His and Steve’s bodies were ridiculous. God-like is what most women would confess.
Furthermore, Y/N got to see how Steve put his to use… in ways no one else knew about.
“You wanna keep rubbing it in my face that you can do hundreds of pushups with one arm while I can’t even do 5 with both of mine?” Y/N greeted him.
Bucky chuckled, and Y/N swore she made him blush. Or maybe that was just from working out.
“You just gotta work at it, kid. I’ve got the advantage of a super-soldier serum.”
There it was again. That nickname. When he said it, Y/N realized he hadn’t used it in quite some time.
But Y/N pushed the thought out of her head and rolled her eyes teasingly.
“Yeah, I’m sure you wouldn’t be able to still do all of those without it.”
As soon as her feet stepped onto the padded flooring Bucky was waiting on, he kicked Y/N’s legs out from underneath her.
He did it so smoothly and quickly that Y/N could’ve blinked and missed it. The only proof being that she was now laying on her back, staring up at the ceiling. Her head was aching from hitting the ground hard.
“Bucky! What the actual fuck!” She screamed.
He tried not to look too pleased with himself. “Last lesson, I told you that you needed to learn to always be prepared. Most attacks are going to be a surprise. If you don’t train your body to always be ready, all the other stuff is pointless.”
Y/N glared at him. “Way to build trust...” But then she quickly rolled back to her feet.
Without really thinking her plan through, Y/N lunged for him. She meant it to distract him from her actual intentions, which were to knee him right in the balls.
Payback is payback.
But Bucky easily deflected all efforts. And he absolutely knew what she was trying to do.
“Ya trying to play dirty?” He asked with a smile.
“Just trying to get even,” Y/N snapped.
She knew she wasn’t going to get any damn hit in. She was a civilian jousting with the Winter Soldier. She didn’t stand a chance.
But Y/N did know is that Bucky wouldn’t ever hurt her. In fact, he would put himself in harms way to make sure that didn’t happen.
So, Y/N decided to use that to her advantage.
If she wanted to take him down, she had to go down with him.
Y/N lunged for him at a weird angle, hoping her own weight combined with gravity would be enough to drag him down with her.
Bucky’s eyes widened slightly as he realized Y/N’s body was about to hit the ground hard and quick, and at an angle that would easily dislocate her shoulder.
He shifted his weight so his back hit the ground and he took all of the blow, Y/N having his body as a cushion to land on.
“You OK?” He asked hurriedly. Even though there was no way she could’ve harmed herself.
Y/N nodded and smiled mischievously. “Had to figure out a way to bring you down…”
Then Bucky snapped back to reality.
He was laying on his back with Y/N laying on top of him. Her chest pressed against his. Her hands were spread across his bare chest, able to feel his skin. Her warmth was enveloping him. When did his grip on her go so low on her hips? He could feel her heartbeat, and then he felt it quicken when a silence settled between them and they realized how unsuitably close they were.
But swore he didn’t mean. He tried with all of his might not to take a glimpse at her lips. But his eyes were no longer in his control.
Now he was panicked.
He quickly ushered her off of him, almost being rough about it.
Y/N misread his panic as irritation with her.
“I’m sorry,” she blurted out. “Did I hurt you?”
Of course she didn’t hurt him.
“I’m fine,” Bucky mumbled without looking at her.
Y/N was finally able to acknowledge that something was off between the two of them, and it had been for awhile. She wasn’t sure if she could put her finger on when it started, but it felt like it had been since she showed up at his doorstep after seeing him bleeding out in the snow. She’d killed a Hydra agent that day trying to protect him.
“You don’t call me ‘kid’ anymore,” she accused him.
Bucky’s brow creased as he finally looked up at her. “What are you talking about?”
“I mean, you did earlier. But that was the first time in months.” Then she gestured at the giant and empty training facility. “This is the first time we’ve actually been alone in months too. What’s going on, Bucky? Are you mad at me? Did I do something wrong?”
“No,” he muttered swiftly.
“Then what is it? Because something is – it’s off. We’re off.”
But Bucky just stared into her gaze.
He couldn’t tell her. He couldn’t explain what he was going through.
He couldn’t tell her that he was trying to keep his distance, trying to prove to his best friend that he wasn’t trying to steal his girl. But he couldn’t stay away from her either. He couldn’t leave her be when both of them were so alone here.
Bucky couldn’t tell her he was in love with her.
What would be the point?
The two kings guards returned. “Ms. Y/L/N?”
“Yeah,” she muttered without breaking her stare down with Bucky.
“Captain Rogers just landed. We thought you may wish to know.”
Y/N finally blinked and turned to them, “Thank you.” Then she turned and promptly left without saying another word to Bucky.
As soon as he was alone, Bucky rubbed his face and paced. “What the hell are you thinking, Bucky?” He whispered to himself.
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Chapter 25
It only took me 2+ months, guys! Please, please, please let me know how you feel and what you think. ❤️