Non-Sequential [Ch. 26]
Pairing: Pre-Serum Steve Rogers/Steve Rogers x Reader
One night, Steve Rogers met a beautiful dame named Y/N. He hadn’t intended on letting her get away. But fate had other ideas. Y/N appeared and disappeared in his life so hauntingly that Steve started to wonder if she was an angel meant to watch over him.
Word Count: 3,100
Chapter 25
Steve immediately noticed Y/N’s silence as they walked to the platform where his quinjet awaited him. He took her hand in his and gave it a gentle squeeze as a small gesture of comfort. When he glanced down at her, she gave him a sad smile.
When they finally reached the platform, Bucky was already there waiting.
Y/N still seemed off.
“Hey, what’s wrong? We’ve done this before. We can do it again,” Steve told Y/N quietly. He thought she’d been use to watching him go after all this time.
“I know. I know,” Y/N sighed.
But before he could respond, she wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his chest. He was wearing his tattered uniform. It smelled of smoke, sweat, and gunpowder. But she didn’t care.
“I’ll be fine, Y/N.” Steve whispered into her ear, trying anything to comfort her.
Y/N thought she was the one that was always leaving. Now it felt like he was the one doing that more.
“Go make sure they’re safe,” Y/N whispered into his shoulder.
Steve nodded.
He pulled back to kiss her. It was a quick, but passionate peck.
Except Y/N wanted more and pulled him in for a deeper kiss.
Steve smiled shyly and pressed his forehead to her’s.
“I’ll be back before you know it,” he promised.
Y/N just nodded and nudged him in the direction of the quinjet.
But Steve made a stop first, talking to Bucky.
Y/N couldn’t hear what they were saying. But Bucky made a quick glance at her, and she assumed Steve was asking him to look after her, per usual.
She thought Bucky would make his way over to her once Steve boarded the quinjet. But Bucky just gave her a final glance and made his leave.
Y/N sighed.
She was still struggling with the idea that Bucky had feelings for her.
Yes, they had grown close. Yes, she had started to rely on him when Steve wasn’t around. Hell, she relied on him more than Steve when she was fighting with Steve.
But Y/N couldn’t wrap her mind around Bucky actually loving her.
Some days she struggled with the concept of Steve loving her.
None of it made any sense to her.
But she knew one thing for sure…She was tied to both of these men. Her mind and body knew it and her powers proved it. She was whipped through time, bound to the important events in their lives and having no choice but to be pulled right to them.
—————————
Bucky was heating up the kettle when he heard the goats making a ruckus.
“I swear to god, Frankenstein, if you’ve let everyone out of the enclosure again…” he muttered to himself as he made his way to the door.
But he stopped in his tracks when he saw that the enclosure was closed and intact.
Instead of finding all of the animals roaming free, they were all huddled together – even Betsy and Humphrey.
Y/N was sitting in a circle, like she was Snow White. But in actuality, Snow White – the white pygmy goat – was sitting in Y/N’s lap, cuddling with her.
Bucky allowed himself to watch the scene for a moment, before his arrival was noticed.
All his pets wanted her attention. Y/N smiled and giggled as she tried to give them what they wanted. He smiled when he heard her jokingly whine about not having enough hands.
Bucky sighed and finally made his way over. He leaned forward, balancing his one forearm on the railing of the enclosure.
“What brings you all the way out here?” He asked.
Y/N barely looked up at him for a second before she brought her attention back to the animals.
“I don’t know. I just realized I haven’t been down here a lot recently, I guess.”
“Well, you’re always welcome. And, as you can see, the little devils missed you.”
Y/N looked up at him again, staring into his blue eyes. “Am I always welcome?” She challenged.
Bucky tilted his head, confused at what she was implying. “Of course, kid. Always.”
“Did I do something wrong?” Y/N asked, a sadness clear in her tone.
Bucky stood up straight then. “What?”
“It’s just…I realized we don’t spend as much time together as we used to. And when Steve’s here, I barely even see your face. Have I done something to upset you? Are you mad at me? You can tell me, you know.”
Bucky sighed.
He didn’t want to have this conversation. Not at all.
“No, Y/N. I’m not mad at you,” he muttered. Then he scratched the back of his neck. “I was just trying to give you and Steve space.”
Y/N squinted in annoyance. “That’s kinda funny…since I don’t remember ever asking for that.”
Bucky let out a long exhale. “Y/N,” his voice was stern, as if he were telling her to ‘cut the shit.’ “What’s this really about?”
She stood then, gently placing Snow White on the ground and tiptoeing around the other animals so she was just a few inches from Bucky’s face.
The railing separated their bodies and stopped her from getting any closer.
Her attitude and meddling had been abandoned now.
In their place was fear. Bucky could see it in her y/e/c eyes.
“Steve told me something today…” Y/N finally said, but her eyes couldn’t meet his now.
She picked at the splintered wood on the railing.
“Yeah?” Bucky calmly asking her to continue. He truly didn’t know where this was going anymore.
What could Steve have possibly told her that would cause such behavior?
Her eyes flickered up, proving that she needed to watch his face as he told her the next thing. She had to read him because she knew how he reacted would be the only answer that she needed. What he said would mean nothing.
“Is it true?” Y/N whispered with a quiver. “Are you in love with me, Bucky?”
Bucky swore his heart was going to beat out of his chest. He shifted his weight back and forth, doing absolutely anything to buy himself some time.
“Y/N…” he started.
“Don’t,” She cut him off in warning. “Please don’t lie to me.”
So instead Bucky just gave her a look. But it was so much more than that. With it he was telling her if he couldn’t lie, then he wasn’t going to say anything at all.
And in that moment, Y/N knew Steve had been telling the truth.
“Are you mad Steve told me?” She asked, her voice shaking.
That wasn’t really what the conversation was about or even what she wanted to know. But she didn’t know what else to say. And she was trying to avoid actually acknowledging that Bucky just admitted to being in love with her.
“No,” Bucky quickly answered. “No, he had every right to.”
Y/N got quiet then.
Bucky wished he could read her mind, just for this second. What was going on in that beautiful head of hers?
All at once, Y/N’s bottom lip started trembling and her eyes flooded with tears.
“I’m so sorry,” she whimpered.
Bucky’s gut reaction was to jump the fence, to pull her to him.
Watching her cry was never easy and now he was the only reason for it.
“Kid…” He cleared his throat, not being able to handle watching any of it any longer. “Y/N, please don’t cry.” She turned to the side, half hiding herself from him as she tried to pull herself together. But it was useless. The tears just kept sliding down her cheeks.
Bucky kept shifting his weight, wanting nothing more to hold her and tell her she did nothing wrong. That it was his stupid heart that he couldn’t control. And maybe his damaged brain that made him fall for his best friend’s girl.
“Y/N, will you please come here?” He asked her ever so quietly.
But she shook her head.
She didn’t trust herself to be near him anymore. She didn’t want him to hold her. She didn’t want to torture him any more. She didn’t want to continue not loving him the same way he loved her.
Bucky ran his hand through his hair. “Y/N, I don’t…I don’t know what to say to you to make this better.” He shook his head. “Please, just tell me what you want me to say.”
Y/N gasped.
But it wasn’t because of what he said.
She looked down at her hands to see that they were disappearing. She was starting to travel.
Her gaze flickered up to his.
Bucky’s widened as he realized what was happening.
For the first time since she started time traveling, she wasn’t scared.
——————————
The first thing Y/N felt was the cold tile on her feet.
But when she looked around, she knew exactly where she was. It took a moment for her eyes to adjust, since it was clearly the middle of the night.
Nevertheless, it only took her a few seconds to recognize that she was at the Avengers compound in upstate New York.
Steve’s old home. The place that had basically become her own home.
Before the Avengers fell apart, at least.
But the more important question was when was she?
Practically forgetting that she was completely naked, Y/N started tiptoeing down the hallways. Her body immediately started taking her to Steve’s room.
When she finally reached it, she was grateful to find that the door was unlocked.
There was a lump in the bed, a lump that couldn’t be anything else besides Steve Roger’s sleeping body.
Y/N was surprised her entrance didn’t immediately wake him up. He must be exhausted if he was sleeping through an intruder walking into his bedroom.
She tiptoed to the bed, “Steve?”
That was finally what started to stir Steve.
The super soldier would’ve jumped to a defensive stance. But his body immediately recognized her voice and knew there was nothing to fear. So, instead, he turned and squinted through the darkness of his bedroom.
“Y/N?” He asked with confusion.
Then he realized she was completely naked.
“What year is it?” Y/N whispered.
It all made sense.
Steve looked at her differently now, realizing that this was not his Y/N, the Y/N that belonged in this time period.
“It’s 2015,” he told her gently.
“Where am I?” She asked.
But she wasn’t talking about the location she was standing in. Y/N was asking about where her present self was currently.
“You went home for your mom’s birthday party. You…umm…you didn’t want me to come with,” Steve explained. Y/N nodded, remembering exactly what he was referencing.
“Are you from the future or the past?” Steve asked her.
He learned to keep his questions generic. The less he knew, the better. But it was hard not to try and get a few details in situations such as this.
“Future,” Y/N mumbled.
That’s when Steve saw the tears on her cheeks that had yet to dry. Even in the dark room, he could tell her eyes were slightly swollen and red from crying.
“Are you OK?” He sounded completely awake now.
“Yeah,” she answered. “Umm…can I just lay in bed with you…you know, until I go back?”
What she didn’t realize was how ridiculous Steve found it that she even felt the need to ask. He would never deny her such a request. Ever.
Steve sat up quickly and opened the covers on the other side of the bed. “O-Of course,” he stuttered hastily.
Then he glanced at her naked body. It wasn’t objectifying. He was used to her skin. In fact, he liked that she didn’t seem shy about it in his presence anymore. That must have come from their time together, seeing as she was from the future.
“Do you want to borrow some clothes? You already have some stuff in that drawer over there…”
Y/N glanced over, already knowing exactly where her clothes would be.
“Can I borrow some of yours?” She asked with slight embarrassment.
Steve smiled shyly. He knew she always preferred laying around and sleeping in his clothes. No matter how comfy her pajamas and loungewear was, his clothing brought her another level of comfort and safety.
He watched her as she moved around the room and grabbed a pair of his shorts and a hoodie.
Then she slid into the other side of the bed.
Y/N looked at him hesitantly before closing the distance between them and burrowed herself into him.
Steve immediately wrapped his arms around her.
“You OK?” He whispered to her.
He felt her nod against him.
“You’ve been crying,” he pointed out.
She stayed quiet.
“Was it me? Did I do something?”
She shook her head. “No, it wasn’t you. But you were gone – away on a mission.”
Steve could tell there was something more she wanted to say, so he waited patiently for her to continue. “I was really upset. And I guess…I guess I was thinking that I missed you and that I…needed you,” she shook her head. “Next thing I know, I was traveling and I ended up…here and there you are.”
Steve held her tightly and kissed her forehead.
“I’m here. I got you, Y/N.” He whispered, rubbing her back and trying to relax the muscles that he could feel were so tense.
The room went quiet again for a few moments.
But then Y/N took in a quick breath. “My mom’s birthday party…” She muttered quickly. Then she pulled back just enough so she could look at him.
“Huh?” Steve asked, a little confused by the sudden subject change.
“You were upset that I didn’t ask you to come. You never brought it up, but I knew.”
Steve didn’t confirm or deny it. But his set jaw answered the question.
“It wasn’t because I didn’t want you to meet my family,” Y/N defended. “I’ve had boyfriends before you. Not great ones. But I did have them…I just never brought any of them home. Probably for that reason.”
Steve was listening closely.
“I was scared. I thought my family would ruin our little bubble of happiness. I was scared something would happen and you wouldn’t want to – I don’t know – be with me or something.”
“Y/N…” Steve started.
“It’s not because you did anything wrong. I just thought you should know.” Y/N cut him off to clarify.
“Why didn’t you just tell me all that before you left?” He asked.
Y/N laughed. “It’s easier coming from the future and explaining my past self than it is telling you the truth in the moment.”
Steve smiled. “Fair enough.”
He kissed her forehead. “And just for the record, nothing your family did would ever make me stop loving you.”
“Well, I know that now. But the me you know doesn’t – not yet.”
“Thank you…for telling me.”
Y/N’s eyes closed and she gave a sleepy nod.
But when she woke up, she wasn’t in Steve’s bed any longer.
She was back in her bed in Wakanda...alone.
She traced the spot on the other side of the bed that Steve would be in if she were still in the past.
She looked at her device to see if Steve had tried calling her. But there were no messages.
She decided to take a shower and try to relax her muscles. Sometimes it still ached after traveling.
When she got out, towel still wrapped around her body, there was a knock on her door.
She was surprised to find Bucky waiting on the other side.
“Are you OK?” He immediately asked, looking down at her body for injuries.
Y/N shrunk under his gaze, feeling vulnerable as she stood just in a towel.
“I’m fine,” she mumbled. “How did you know I was back?”
“Shuri made this thing that tells me and her when you’ve returned from traveling. There are heat sensors that recognize your presence or something… I don’t really know how it works.”
“I’m fine, Bucky. Nothing happened while I was gone.”
“Good,” he answered. Then he shifted his weight.
Y/N could tell he was stuck in his head.
“That’s not the only reason I came here,” he finally admitted.
“OK…” she replied.
“I am in love with you,” he admitted.
Y/N’s eyes widened.
“Whatever Steve told you… it’s all true.” He shook his head. “I didn’t know what to say to you. Everything felt like it was the wrong thing to tell you. I couldn’t lie to you, but I thought admitting the truth was just as bad.”
“Bucky…” Y/N started.
“Please, just let me finish,” he begged.
She seemed surprised but then slightly nodded.
“I don’t expect anything from you. I never did. Steve loves you more than anything in the entire world. More importantly, you love him just as much.” He rubbed his face. “I started distancing myself because I thought it would make Steve realize that I am never going to get in between the two of you.” Then he looked at the ground. “Not that I’d ever have a chance anyway.”
Then he noticed that Y/N’s face was scrunched up, deep in thought. He knew that look.
“What? What is it?” He asked.
“I just…I don’t…Why did it have to be me, Bucky?”
Bucky laughed lightly at the question and shook his head.
“There’s still a lot I don’t remember. Doesn’t matter if it was before the war or when I was brainwashed, so much is still lost.” His blue eyes tore into her gaze. “But every memory of you is there, Y/N.”
She sniffed, not even realizing that tears had started. “Is that why you saved me from them? Because you knew me, even through the brainwashing?”
“I saved you because I already loved you – before they ever controlled my mind. It didn’t matter that they controlled me. I just knew I couldn’t let anything happen to you.”
Y/N sobbed at the confession. “I didn’t – I never meant to hurt you, Bucky.” Y/N finally whispered.
“You didn’t. Damnit, Y/N. Please don’t ever think that.”
“I’m sorry.” She practically whimpered. “I’m sorry that I can’t choose you.”
More tears slid down her cheeks.
Bucky reached forward and gently wiped some away with his thumb.
He gave her a sad smile. “Let’s not lie to ourselves, kid. I was never a choice to begin with.”
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Chapter 27
For the three people still reading this stupid fucking series, there ya go.