#nonbpd

[borderlinenarwhal]

Pretty sure I'm getting another fucking cold

I love working as a cashier and touching all y'alls dirty ass fucking money 🙃🖕🏻

[borderlinenarwhal]

I hate waiting for packages to come. Like it is one of the hardest things for me omgggggg I’m so impatient

[borderlinenarwhal]

Just a reminder that I have an orca tumblr and a personal tumblr if you’re interested in some stuff other than my borderline musings :)

orca personal

[borderlinenarwhal]

Person: *sneezes* *coughs* *clears throat* *is clearly ill*

Me: I don't mean to make things awkward but if I get sick I will hurt you

[user64290]

I had a friend with BPD who I fell in love with but had a to break up our friendship because long story short, I was so confused, and I loved him, but he didn't want me the same way. He said he loved me. What did he mean? He understood me better than anyone and i feel horrible for leaving because after I did I started educating myself on BPD and I see now how much pain he was in the whole time and that he was so intimate with me because of his BPD and was trying to escape the pain. I don't know.

Fuck, it’s hard to be in the dark. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with that.Here’s what I gather:I think he didn’t know how to set boundaries at the time. Borderlines tend to have difficulty setting boundaries for fear of hurting other people’s feelings. Because being rejected/abandoned is our number one fear, it makes us cringe to think of making someone else feel that kind of pain.  The affection you had for him was unwavering. He trusted you. He cared for you deeply as a friend, but did not see you romantically. From a borderline’s perspective, if he can’t give you what you want, it must mean he doesn’t care about you at all. Of course this made him feel guilty. He did not know how to cope with the dialectic truth of caring about you, but having to reject you. I also get the sense you feel guilty for “abandoning” him. What you did was set a boundary. I get that you want to understand the disorder from his perspective, but do not feel bad for putting yourself first even if he may be struggling with BPD. If its too painful for you to stay in a friendship with him, you’re doing both of you a favor. Feel free to message me more information. The more I know, the better I can help. I won’t make it public unless you allow me to.