#nondm

[scphiereynclds]

can i get an episode of girl meets world about farkle feeling like he’s been replaced by zay in lucas’s life tho?

[freedomin-paradise]

I can't write about this on any other blog so oh well.

I'm a literal wreck my fucking mental health is shit, I'm in such a constant state of stress that I can't have any fucking fun. My dad has turned into an alcoholic ffs I can't deal with this shit again. One of my old friends is an alcoholic who has almost died so many times before because of her anorexia/bulimia/depression and I want to help her but can't. My best fucking friend is dating someone who is a manipulative piece of trash who I just wish would fucking fuck off. I literally want to die but I'm not going to kill myself. I literally snap at everyone for no reason. I can't control my anger and my depression and general anxiety and ptsd and my social anxiety are all seriously kicking my ass. I just want to go to school and do what I love but in stuck working and not in school because I've flunked out of both programs I was in. Because I'm a damn failure, I flunk out of college twice and I flunked at being a goddamn dog bather. I just need to leave this all behind and I can't.

[freedomin-paradise]

im gonna kms,

i went to update my phone and it decided to wipe it out was a fan fucking tastic idea. I backed it up before hand so no problem right? well now my fucking iPhone is no longer able to connect to iTunes. like go fuck yourself apple. I lost so many pictures of my dead dog, my current pets from when I first got them and very important pictures to my personal business. I’m beyond pissed about this. If there isn’t a way for me to fix this by friday I’m going to an apple store and demanding they do something because theres no way in hell I’m letting this slide. I got to work to do my overnight, so I’m seeing humans for the first time and my boss goes “hows your day?” like any normal human and i start to bawl my eyes out and she felt so bad so she bought me fries and a hot coco to make me feel better because my boss is amazing. and I’m just so sad because theres pictures of people I will never see again either. I’m mainly upset about my pictures of Sammy that are gone. I will never be able to re-take those.

[freedomin-paradise]

LOL, no mom I will not care for or love my brother because "he's the only one I have" because he has invalidated my existence. He had a different childhood. In a lot of ways we had the same type of childhood. I didn't get to do sports I wanted or loved but I was able to do them. When I asked for anything *big* for Christmas it was a no, mom did the shopping, he would get them for getting a 'B' on a test. He didn't have the abuse I had. He didn't get the wonderful "I wish I aborted you" or the "get out of here I don't really like you" so no we didn't huh? He didn't get the fist. He didn't get the boy at the church raping him and after there was known abuse forced into there. Then again it was her idea. He didn't lose someone every year for 6 consecutive years. He didn't grow up with depression and anxiety. He didn't grow up being constantly misgendered without knowing he was fine. Maybe I grew up as your daughter but you'll have to see me as your son soon. I promise myself that. I promise myself I will be unapologetically happy with myself if that means leaving the family in the dust. I will not love my brother because he says my mental illness isn't real; and has for years, and when he claims to have a sleeping issue because of the marines he's so strong and he dealt with a lot. I've dealt with a lot too and a lot not a lot of people believe so give me that respect. Don't tell me thinking positive will help it won't. Don't do that to me. Don't tell me that I need to respect a person who hates and invalidates my existence. Just literally throw yourself off a bridge.

[freedomin-paradise]

I’m honestly curious about what sports the dance moms / little dancers fandom have played/plays…because I feel like it would be an interesting mix of sports.

[freedomin-paradise]

I have 2 ppl I hangout with on a semi-regular basis and they are hanging out a lot more together recently and snap chatting me everything and I'm just sort of ://// about the whole thing and it's kinda annoying because like I make time for them alllll the time when they want to hangout but the second I want to it's like oh sorrrrrrry can't.

[freedomin-paradise]

I no longer want to go by Jess as its to feminine for me. I would love for us to call me Riley James or either of those two. Okay thank you all.

[youwouldntmesswithachildsmind]

Just found out that red band society got cancelled, I'm heartbroken