I’m in the midst of the strangest canine shift right now.
I’ve recently started watching Beastars, mainly because one of my IRL friends is forcing me too. Of course, it’s really good and amazing, yada yada. I’ve only made it through the first few episodes, but it left me with such a nice warm feeling afterwards— seeing a world where people were just animals— it’s literally a dream coming from someone like me (who perceives themselves to be anthropomorphic most of the time.)
Afterwards, I was doing my nighttime routine, and I kept catching glimpses of myself in the mirror. And I don’t know how else to explain it, but I saw a dog. Not… literally or physically or whatever, I don’t really get hallucinations like that— I could still see my “human” body, but it just… wasn’t human. It still felt like my body, I didn’t get that same dissonance I usually do when I shift— I saw my body, it looked human, but it wasn’t.
I know this probably doesn’t sound like a big deal, but it was such a strange sensation to me… to look in the mirror and instantly feel the canine blended seamlessly with my human body, and to not be left standing there for minutes, mentally shedding away my human disguise just so I can feel like an awkward pup bumbling around in a body that’s too small for me. (I’ve always disliked using the word ‘disguise’ to describe my human body, but I can’t think of anything better right now.)
It’s just strange. Absolutely amazing, but strange. I look at my paws and see hands, but they just are paws. It’s like looking at the front cover of a book— you see the shell, but you know the words by heart.