#nonnerpants

[trilliath]

"Clarify" for the WIP Word Guessing game?

Hah, you've found a word that actually only has one chapter it shows up in! Apparently nobody clarifies shit in my writing 99% of the time 🤣

This is also from The Calling, my weird Merfolk Tommy and Buck the body/sex creaturefolk service worker fic

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Buck pouts out his lip and says, "Really? I can't believe I didn't even see you get off - guess I was too busy getting my world rocked to notice, so I can't complain, but -"

Tommy's face does something complicated and like Buck is definitely getting something else wrong now but he's not going to protest, which really is not how this whole client - employee thing is supposed to work.

"What? What am I getting wrong?" Buck presses. "Tell me so I can be better for you."

"Nothing's wrong, everything you're doing is perfect."

"Tommy."

"I mean it, that was great. I did get what I wanted, I'm perfectly satisfied by getting to give you an orgasm."

"But?"

Tommy tips his head back, most of his face dipping just under the surface of the water as he exhales, leaving a little trail of bubbles as they drift along.

"This isn't a complaint," he says finally. "But in the interest of not misleading you, I should maybe just clarify that I didn't have an orgasm. That's all. But that's not important."

Buck instinctually shifts to put his feet down, to get to something he can stand on to devote more of his brain to the situation - though they've floated out into the deeper waters so only his toes reach the sediment.

"Wait. What do you mean, though? You didn't get off and you don't… want to get off? Or you don't think I can get you off?" Buck jerks his hand back from Tommy's body. "Do you not want me to touch you?"

Tommy tilts his head heavily in denial, grip tightening on his waist and refusing his attempt to back off. "No, not at all. I would love to have you touch me, in whatever way you want, whenever you feel like it - especially if we're in the water. But us having sex won't work for me the way that it does for you. Outside of clutching in particular we don't… we're not built for it like that, not really."

"So wait - you can't get off unless you're mating?" Buck asks, horrified. "You - fuck, you only get to come twice a year?"

Tommy's face creases, somewhere between amusement and disagreement. "Not the way you mean it, but I wouldn't say that's exactly true, either."

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Send me a word and I'll post a snippet of a WIP with that word, or write you 3 new sentences if it's not in there :3

[trilliath]

spicy bucktommy - buck surprises tommy with some holiday lingerie

Merry christmas nonnerpants, maybe a little spicier than you intended but hopefully it hits the spot.

The Present Wrapped in Satin and Lace

Complete - E - 6k - Evan "Buck" Buckley / Tommy Kinard

Additional Tags: Christmas Fluff, Lingerie, Light Feminization, Spanking, Light Bondage, Kink Exploration, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Mild S&M, A pinch of D/s

[trilliath]

can I hear a bit about 'in from the cold'? thank you!

Oh that's one of the very first fics I started writing in this fandom, way back in May of 2024... it was sparked by this cat video that was floating around at the time and a desire to explore what Tommy's living situation might be like and also just like... how much they like each other and Tommy beginning to really let Evan into his life. Fluffy with a little dash of crisis.

Here's a snippet:

"No, no no, where are you going?" He puts the kitten in his hand down inside the bag and reaches for her, but she's already moving. "Come here sweetie."

She pauses, and he crawls closer, but her head snaps back up and she slips out of his grasp and darts for a white pvc pipe buried in the wall, some kind of overflow pipe or something between the hot tub and pool or the water treatment system buried underground somewhere. He swears under his breath and goes back to get the last kitten to safety as a first priority.

At the opening she braces herself, makes a snapping sort of meow, and the kittens in the bag all start up a desperate chorus. She glances at them but then her attention sharpens back to the pipe, body tense and still. Tommy zips shut the mesh door and moves towards the mom, slow and cautious; she darts a look at him and then disappears into the pipe.

He swears under his breath and kneels down in the water, getting out his flashlight to see, but it's hard to get an angle.

Then he hears what she had; tiny mewls coming from inside the pipe.

"Oh, jesus, there's more. Fuck." He shifts back, going to where the temporary nest had been under the only nearby cover and gets the bag tucked in there, safe for the moment out of the water atop the wilted box. The kittens keep crying but he figures that's as good as any radio now.

"What do I do?"

He splashes back over to the pipe. It's barely bigger than his hand and when he shines the flashlight on it this time he sees a little burble of water coming out of it and streaming into the pool tub. He can hear water running somewhere inside it, and as he looks around the area he spots the downspout coming off the nearest corner of the house. It's angled in this direction, and there's some kind of drain system that it's integrated with, and he suddenly has a sinking feeling about why the cat had been so soaking wet already even though when he's arrived they'd been above the water level.

He climbs out of the tub area again to go over to inspect the spouts, to see if there's any kind of valve or diverter, but there's nothing. It looks like some kind of frankensteined "landlord special" of a job, all interconnected so that most of the roof water is coming together all in one direction, this main drain.

"Tommy!"

He's not expecting it, almost wonders if it was his brain playing tricks on him the way it sometimes does in the right sort of quiet, the echo of too many calls.

Then he hears it again, and almost on reflex he calls back, "Here!"

And moments later, Evan comes loping in out of the shadows, drawn to the sound of his voice sure and true.

"Jeez, it's really coming down," Evan says, closing the distance between them and slinging an arm around his neck as Tommy comes to meet him. "God, you're soaked."

The kiss he gets is firm and deep but quick, and Evan is already moving away to inspect the situation, squatting down to see the bag of babies.

Tommy swallows back his questions and focuses up.

"I've got all the visible kittens in there, but the mom ran into this pipe and I can hear more kittens in there. I think it's flooding."

Evan looks up at him, face creasing in concern. He must sound more freaked out than he realized he was because Evan moves back to him quickly, grabbing the back of his neck to pull him into a hard embrace, pressing a kiss to his temple. "It's okay babe, we'll get them."

He closes his eyes and sucks in a deep breath, holding onto Evan's hip to ground himself.

His voice is much steadier when he says, "She could get trapped."

"Well." Buck's hand pulses on the back of his neck, fingers tapping, and then he tilts his head to the side and says, "I've got an axe in the jeep if it comes to that."

And when he looks over, there's nothing but earnestness on Evan's face, like it doesn't even occur to him to hesitate over something that could cost him his job or a lawsuit or even possibly a criminal record. Not that he should be surprised, given everything he knows about Evan so far. He just hadn't realized it would extend to feral cats too.

"Yeah," he says, laughing faintly. "Yeah, me too."

"Well, there you go!" Evan says, his grin brilliant and contagious. Then he flails a little and crouches, saying, "look."

There's a shadow in the pipe and then the green glint of reflected eyes and it resolves into the mama cat with a baby in her mouth as she squeezes down the pipe. She freezes at the opening, spotting Evan, but he's already backing away and Tommy kneels down in front of her saying, "You got it, mama, come on," as he stretches out his hand.

Thanks for playing! --Ask me about my WIP!

[trilliath]

Hi! I am loving your new fic. I do have a question though. The part in the new chapter where Tommy states that the ball was in his court - is that what Tommy believes? Or is that your own point of view? I'm just wondering because that line left me a bit confused. The ball is very much in Buck's court on screen, not Tommy's? Thank you!

I'm so glad you're enjoying it, and that's a very interesting question, thank you!

Here's the thing - it's a little bit both.

To start with, in this fic, Tommy is very much in that moment not thinking about any complexity or critical thinking he might apply to his relationship with Buck. I think he's also got a lot of grief about his own choices and his self-sabotaging urge to dive through the emergency escape hatch at the first sign of real trouble, so regardless of the objective truth of the matter (if there could be such a thing) I think he'd genuinely put the bulk of the blame for every part of it on his own shoulders. He believes what he's saying there.

As for the fandom meta side and my personal feelings…

One thing I think is an important facet of the conversation that has people talking past each other on this issue is that we're usually talking about two very distinct domains; the quality of the relationship as contributed to by its participants, and the decisions about being in a relationship by its participants. Now, the quality of a relationship can and should inform the decisions about its nature, but it cannot supplant those decisions.

It is interesting to me that you say the ball is firmly in Buck's court. I know that the fandom's collective pendulum is swinging a little heavy towards the "Buck bears responsibility too!" camp right now, but I have to admit that perspective has always felt to me more like rationalization than something grounded in facts, and a conflation of relationship status with quality/moral-righteousness. When it comes down to it, what we actually know in canon is fairly sparse, but what we do know, I think, puts that ball pretty firmly in Tommy's court.

Tommy initially chose to call it quits. He walked out. Full stop. Not away for some space to calm down or think and reconvene later to decide together, but out. Relationship ended. When they reconnected, yes, that conversation spun out into upsetting territory, but regardless of things that may have been implied, Buck did not say anything even resembling "You should go" or "I don't want to continue our relationship". Tommy is once again the one who made the primary decision when he ended the conversation and walked out. Buck did reach out to Tommy to ask for help, and Tommy showed up and said he still cared about Buck, but then… we do not know what else happened. We can't even really assume that nothing happened - shows like this have events happening off screen constantly. We have no more information either way about how they left things.

Current on-screen canonical score on people choosing to end things: Tommy: 2, Buck: 0.

Now. I am aware that I as a person have some pretty strong feelings about this as far as relationships go. I recognize this is not something that's necessarily considered a universal value or expectation around relationships, that different things work for different people, and that this is something of a simplification because there are relevant caveats and complexities, but fundamentally here is where I'm coming from:

If you tell me you are done and walk out my front door, then that's the last you will hear from me on the subject.

Not in an angry "I'm hurt and never talking to you again" kind of way but in a "You've made a decision and drawn a line, so that's where we're at relationship-wise unless you change your mind." I'm not barring the door shut all of the sudden, it will probably be open for at least a discussion for a long time - I sometimes reach out if I'm not sure I've been clear that coming back and talking is an option… but I absolutely do not cross the line someone drew to chase them down and try to change their mind, no matter how much I miss them. To me, that is a foundational matter of respect.

I say this with empathy, but breaking up with someone and then expecting them to come after you is manipulative and immature - no matter what they did or did not do that caused you to break up with them.

Now, I'm sure my personal perspective is coloring the lens through which I view Buck and Tommy, but I feel like Buck pretty much operates the same way. Yes we see him have some pretty big emotions around people, but when you really boil it down to the actions he takes, Buck does not chase people who've walked away. I'm sure there are moments you could argue here and there, but I think when it comes to his relationships with people he's really pretty clearly internalized respecting a clear "No". At most, he waits to see if they'll come back.

For instance (not to read too heavily into dialogue that was absolutely not written with this much attention to detail…) I think it's really interesting that Buck began the "morning after" conversation by saying "I know this doesn't change anything". As in (consciously or not) - I know you set a boundary, and I want to be clear that I'm not now placing expectations on you just because we had sex (and I'm bringing this up right away because I am carrying a concern that you will think how much I want you is going to undermine my ability to respect your boundaries). I also think it's interesting that Tommy's response was "Why doesn't that change things" not "what if I do want to change things" - and subsequently there's the implication there in the conversation that those things are sort-of interchangeable to Tommy. He, consciously or not, seems to think that any choice to re-engage in intimacy of any form is a clear message about the whole relationship. I think that shows a fascinating discrepancy between their expectations around relationships and communication.

By that same token, though, I don't think Tommy expected Buck to chase him either. He knew he'd been the one to make the decision to walk out. I do maybe think he has some unexamined hidden fantasies (to have the romcom happy ending, to have someone stand outside his window with the proverbial boombox, to have someone want him more overpoweringly than he could sabotage the relationship - but let's face it, in reality those behaviors are immature at best and gross at worst) that color his feelings about it all. But imagine if Buck had been the one to end things. Can you imagine Tommy pushing his boundaries demanding the relationship continue? I sure can't.

Anyway, I'm rambling and obviously there's nuance to be had everywhere with all of this, but to me, in my writing, that's where both of them are coming from with this story.

"You are too generous to trifle with me. You [came to my rescue in a helicopter], and it has taught me to hope as I'd scarcely allowed myself before. If your feelings are still what they were last April, tell me so at once. My affections and wishes are unchanged; but one word from you will silence me on this subject for ever."

― Buck, probably, just prior to With Everything I've Got if Sal hadn't intervened 😆

[trilliath]

Jesus Christ. People like you make want to write fucking everyone having kids in fic. I'm sorry you're so fucking broken that you have to write screeds about how much it bothers you that OTHER People are playing with their dolls wrong.

Go fuck yourself.

Oooh yeah good thing you went on anon to showcase how piss poor your reading comprehension skills are!

You really should work on that, you've upset yourself and been nasty and immature for no reason at all. If you had actually read my post correctly, you would have realized I was, in fact, already writing about how annoying it is when people are rude about "other people playing with their dolls wrong".

In this case it was because I saw someone in my fandom make a post insulting people who wrote Character X not wanting children in their fics. That annoyed me, so I wrote a brief post about how stuff like that was rude and biased and that it's equally valid (important words for your reading comprehension practice) to interpret a character wanting or not wanting kids. You know. On my own blog. Instead of sending anon hate like a loser.

So anyway clearly you don't know me very well, anon, but I have always and will always be firmly in the camp of "write whatever fiction pleases you" and have never said otherwise (including in the post you failed to comprehend), so please, go forth and write all the kidfic you want. I wouldn't want to read it anyway.

[trilliath]

Dr. T., my day was horrible. May I ask humbly for a little sneak peak snippedy snipped from 'With everything I've got'?

Darling I'm sorry your day was horrible! Tell you what - I'll do you one better, I'll post the whole second chapter today after work (as soon as I fix one little beat that's not quite working how I want yet).

But in the meantime, to tide you over, here's a little tiny sneak peek along with a spicy little "director's commentary" secret behind the scenes tidbit:

"That's wonderful," he says, nodding. Across the room he watches Gina talking - with her hands, as always - and the small but seemingly genuine smile on Maddie's face. "You remember Gina, yeah?"

"I do," Hen says, amused again like he's said something funny. She doesn't elaborate, but then, she's always been mysterious like that.

Oh boy does Hen remember Gina. Like there were years of normal "your coworker's family at the holiday party" little interactions but! She definitely was the one who caught Sal and Gina having messy ex-sex in one of their off-again moments very early on in her time at the firehouse. How Sal has forgotten this, we'll never know (blocked it out, he's not at all an exhibitionist and was dead mortified). Hen briefly ended up with a horny little crush on Gina after that (Gina was in this lacy thin tank top riding Sal in the storage closet or car in the parking lot or whatever, dark hair a sweaty wreck, lipstick a lethal sanguine orchid, aggressively showing Sal exactly how much he'd better fuckin' regret letting her get away.)

And if you are imagining young Gina evoking Marissa Tomei in My Cousin Vinny you are.

Correct.

[trilliath]

Omg, this is the best timeline! Followed for Teen Wolf (Sterek my love) and now you write for Bucktommy!?! I'm pterodactyl screeching while tumbling to you ff! <3

Heheh yay! It's such a keysmash-inducing pterodactly-screech-worthy sort of ship honestly, I am deep in my feels over them like it's 2014, I can't help it, and the fandom is bringing some amazing stories and enthusiasm, I just had to join in and try and contribute a little bit.

[trilliath]

Hey Trill, if you don't mind, how can you tell that Phil is lifting like 600 lbs in that underarmour ad?

Well, like I said it’s hard to see from that clip and the dramatic lighting exactly what’s going on, and sometimes weights aren’t standard anyway so without seeing the markings nobody can be certain, but based on my own experience with weightlifting, it looks like he’s got this setup:

Bar : 45 or 50 lbs is most common. Count that weight once but double all the others because the plates are always even on either side.

The pair of double-wide plate closest to the center of the bar : 100lbs each or possibly 75s most likely. They look like 100s to me but I could be wrong.

The three pairs of single-wide plates : 45lbs each most likely, very standard

The medium sized plate after that : probably a 30lb pair and probably a 25lb pair. Could be like a 30-20 or a 25-10 possibly, hard to tell in this. But my gut reaction was 30 and 25 from their size.

So altogether my estimate is that’s about 45 + (2*100) + (3*2*45) + (2*30) + (2*25) = 625 lbs rough estimate. At the very LEAST I’m sure it’s a minimum of 550 lbs.

p.s. That chain definitely adds a few extra because Phil is just that salty, he wants you to know he lifted even more than you can even estimate.