"Comforting" Fried Egg on Toast with Chives. A partially traced study of This Photo by @alkaline-noodles
(Krita, Wet Circle and Soft Chalk default brushes, 15 colors, 45 minutes on and off.)
Life still insists on being super mean to me, so it's been very hard to keep up with Eggtober. I'm going to try to do a few more today and catch up soon, but I have things on the 14th and 15th that might leave me too tired.
But to try to get me motivated to work on the eggs again, I decided to use one of the prettiest Egg photos that popped up this year. I did want to do a freehand reference but I sat on that for 3 days and nothing happened so I decided to trace the main elements from an adjusted photo to make it a little easier. Just an exercise to make the task of drawing right now seem less daunting. User @alkaline-noodles, as the originator of the photo I traced, has full permission to use this for any and all purposes since it's their egg. I just really liked the soft sage green and the nice plating and the wispy highlight on the yolk a whole lot. I would have drawn, or traced, the plate too if I thought I could manage it. The whole photo just... felt like being invited to sit and have tea and breakfast on the back deck with an old friend to talk about things. It's just a kind of soft everyday sort of comfort that I really need right now.
Not to glorify suffering, quite the opposite, but I genuinely hope I'm having the worst possible time in the world right now because that would mean that everyone else is doing at least a little better right now. That would make me happy. It's probably not true, but I really want to believe that everyone else out there is doing better. To everyone that's loving and supporting me right now, it means the world. I don't know when I'm going to feel okay again, and I want to choose to be happy for everyone's sakes, because I know a lot of my IRL friends look to me for comfort and happiness and understanding when they're going through shit. I've been characterized on a few separate occasions as the person with the ability to put difficult things into words to help express some of those wriggly feelings. I like to think that's comforting for others. That by being able to find words, I can help people reach others and that by finding the words, they know I understand. I don't know if I'll find the correct words for this personal hardship any time soon. But I feel you all loving me. And it helps. And I'll keep being here however long I need to be until I'm back to the person who finds words for others and who makes others smile. But until then, it would make me very happy to know that everyone else is smiling when I can't.
Thank you all.
Tagging Egg King @quezify. There's a little sunshine every morning and a reason to get up and fight for it. Because there are big shiny eggs in the world. And I get to see them all October. So even during what's probably the lowest low I'm going to experience for a while, I'm still glad. Even if I'm going to be a sludge instead of a human being for a while, I'm alive, and I'm loved, and that's enough until the darkness passes. Stay safe, stay warm, and hug your loved ones. And keep sharing beautiful eggs during these trying times.
