#noonthought

[quietafternoon]

learning sign language is not always the solution when someone struggles with speech.

sign language is its own language and if the struggle is only with using mouth then it can be helpful, but if expressive language as a whole is impacted then sign language can also be hard.

cant speak for others, but for me expressive language in general is very hard and AAC device works much better for me than sign language.

plus struggle to read peoples facial expressions and make the right ones myself, and thats really important in sign language.

i really struggle to make the movements correct and end up signing some words that dont actually mean. mom says its like mumbling but sign language.

also get confused by similar looking signs. and when first learned signs got taught a local simplified version and still use those for some words.

in many situations will use 'home signs' that only carers can understand.

because of that and more, the only people that really understand my mix of signs are carers and close family, people that know signs language often cant understand me and i cant understand them.

i keep trying to learn more and better correct sign but is unlikely will ever be truly fluent.

would love to hear from others that struggle with speech/ cant speak: do you know sign language? what are your experiences with it?

[quietafternoon]

think it might be impossible get therapy for non-autism things if unable to speak / not low support needs

once again at first meeting with therapist they notice cant speak and told me they dont think they will be able work with me.

so incredibly frustrating.

already am limited to therapists even willing to work with autistic people (because yes many just straight up refuse anyone with autism), but then when they see me and see am not low support needs verbal autistic, they get uncomfortable.

had a meeting for dbt therapy today and as soon as she heard cant speak told me shes not sure if she can treat me.

hate hate that uncomfortable look from them when they try tell me nicely am too disabled for them.

(makes me wonder how many higher support needs people never get access to therapy for mental health)

and do think this is not just autism issue, but big struggle for people especially with developmental and intellectual disability.

so many therapists never get taught how to work with disabled people. many never in position where they have to know.

and, can understand them being uncomfortable working with someone when they dont know how, after all they want to help and not accidentally cause more damage.

but, understanding doesnt make it any easier. doesnt give me access to therapy.

[quietafternoon]

communicating when autistic so so hard, no matter what form of communication is used.

think people often forget that communication much more than just speech.

of course verbal communication big part, but also facial expression, gestures, body language.

all is impacted by autism, both in recognizing in other people but also in doing yourself.

and often when having to use AAC to communicate becomes even more obvious how much language and communication is impaired.

please keep in mind when interacting with autistic people that all forms of communication can be harder to use and understand (and sometimes person completely unable to), and that even if communication appears to be good person might till struggle with accurately expressing themselves.

[quietafternoon]

maybe one of my favorite things about tumblr is that it gives me way to find other people that lost most or all speech later in life (teens-adulthood)

when own ability to speak became less and less was very scary, not know what happening. still dont know, but knowing that other autistic people experience similar thing feels so much less lonely bad.

my doctors still try make sure is not a brain health issue, but scan and blood tests all fine. really wish late regression and especially losing most/all speech later than toddler age was more researched.

but for now am just glad be able see others like me online, read their stories, learn new things, see cool aac posts, all so nice

[quietafternoon]

(this might be insensitive or something to that nature, i'm genuinely curious but have a habit of sounding like i'm treating people like science experiments)

what's your opinion on how often speech disorders and ASD are discussed in the context of children in resources? i don't know, every time I try to research something that comes ong with autism or speech disorder-related things, it's always framed like you're a parent looking for answers about your kid. it gets really frustrating when i'm looking for reasons behind my food difficulties and it's always talking about "your child". we are not all children

Dont mind question at all, dont worry is not insensitive :)

Autistic Children being main focus in studies, articles and support programs nothing new.

think saying is : am dissapointed, but not surprised.

there is only a single study focused on late regression in autism, and so far have not been able find anything on fully losing ability to speak as autistic adult.

Autism support often has huge focus on early intervention and intensive therapies, but so often especially with higher needs a lot of support also needed as adults.

many autistic people become adults and suddenly whole support system gone.

own speech therapist only ever worked with autistic children before me.

looking online for answers only gave articles about children or about speech loss episodes in autistic adults.

only when joined tumblr was able find people like me that became nonverbal later in life.

am glad parents have many resources for their autistic kids, just wish the same amount of support and research was available for autistic adults.

[quietafternoon]

just realised that my diagnosis 'expressive speech disorder' also includes written language!

explains why my grammar so weird and have a hard time write correctly and properly, i think.

have to ask speech therapist about it next meeting!

[quietafternoon]

Day centre update!

have been going for few weeks now and is going great! everyone (even me) is surprised how well is going!

Go there two times a week for 3 hours, but we hope maybe one day able stay more days.

not everything always perfect, but people there so nice so accepting that has always worked out.

Am so so happy is going well, in last few years had many attempts go to different programs and nothing worked out.

most of time people not sure how to interact with me or how to help me or how to make me feel safe. last places went to often said was not good fit for them or too disabled be there (even though am msn, cant image how hard must be for hsn people).

but here, not sure why, everything good. people nice, everyone respect each other, nothing is forced. place is nice and make me feel comfortable.

[quietafternoon]

how come some medical professionals think that am competent and smart and just willfully choose not to speak or take care of myself, but when they realize i actually cant, suddenly being infantilised and cant have autonomy?