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there are many indignities about being alive, but one of the very worst is when you're forced to treat your own brain like a small child screaming its lungs out in a public place for some undisclosed and indiscernible reason---but critically, your brain and the child both won't stop until you fix whatever it is, and your first 20 guesses will be wrong.

#offer it blankets offer it craft projects offer it a snack or a walk or quality time with friends.....#nope!!!!!#it is still screaming.#you'd think the organ literally responsible for gifting humanity with the powers of self-reflection and language #such that we can identify and communicate our feelings with each other would be better at this.#it is not.#celestial emporium of benevolent knowledge

anaxa in your heart???? I see I see 📝👁️👁️

DONT PERCIEVE ME!!! THIS IS JUST LIKE WITH ALBEDO!!!1 ITS THAT METHODICAL RESEARCHER ASPECT AND THE "SLIGHTLY" UNHINGED NATURE OF HIS CHARACTER!!!!! nothing more surely......

DEFINITELY NOT THINKING ABOUT ANYTHING MORE!!!!!

#NOPE!!!!!#WHO SAID ANYTHING ABOUT BEING A RESEARCH OBJECT??? NOT ME NOPEEE DONT KNOW WHAT YOURE REFERRING TO #also def not thinking about siscon anaxa......#im as cool as a cucumber #ellys.letters

#you might think the relief of knowing i'm wanted and people think i can succeed in this career enough to bet on me #would be a balm against the pain and fear of the last months and balance out the sadness of leaving becoming real #NOPE!!!!!#however very funny to me that i dragged my feet and rolled my eyes and moaned about applying to this job and did it very late #and they. from what i can tell and from what they all but told me. instantly threw all their other candidates out the window #i don't yet have an offer but unless someone surprise reveals they hated me i was told i will in a couple days #i guess it is great cause it majorly narrows down the things i have to process the giving up of #which.......is the thing i've been complaining about for a while so here is the Lord giving me what I asked #please do pray for me though. the tough thing about this place is it is super hard to get anywhere #and you know me i'm a busy bee travelling around here and there #plus the idea of it taking an hour to the airport and multiple plane rides to get to my family or people makes me feel ill #i don't want to spend the next 4 months crying every time i think about my family or small group people. but i might

accidentally reblogged @postboxrose’s latest an extra time when I meant to put it into my drafts so I could queue an additional time. But I shan’t be deleting it

#nope!!!!!#Luellavellan #postboxrose