#nora's return

[ailelie]

Bird lovers of tumblr, help?

So my main character, Nora Ferryn, loves birds. She has studied them in-depth. She has babbled to family about them. She is (lovingly?) teased about her interest in them.

...I am not a bird person.

What are your favorite bird facts?

What are things only a true bird lover would know?

Why do you love birds?

Please help.

As payment, here are some photos I took in Japan of birds. These birds covered Teuri, an island known for them.

[ailelie]

Food in Nora's Return (in mostly reverse order of appearance)

On Nora’s, she found a mound of lavender-scented rice, shredded lamb, fire-burnt leeks, and coins of pumpkin with two sauces on the side: mint and lavender-sage. Gabriel’s plate did not resemble hers at all, save for the fragrant rice. His meat was flakes of white fish mixed with lemons and zested with orange.

~

“What are we going to do when we see them?” Gabriel asked. He tore the spongy teff bread into tiny pieces, dropping them into the thick stew of tomatoes, peppers, and shredded duck. Nora spooned some of the stew onto her bread. “Act as we always do.

~

For the first time Nora could remember, when she walked downstairs for breakfast, Ambrose was waiting for her. He held one large tray carrying two small bowls of a rice porridge with many small bowls holding different fruits and spices and two cups of rice milk.

~

“Sorry for stopping by so late,” Nora said. She held a tray carrying a small pistachio sesame cream cake and a pot of that smoky Crellish tea Ambrose had liked before.

~

When Nora woke again, she found a bowl of a creamy rice porridge sitting on a tray on her desk. The porridge was still hot.

~

The bowl placed before Nora was tall and wide, half-filled with steaming soup. The waiter set a mountain of fragrant white rice next to her bowl. The oil in the soup glistened in the sunlight. Soft pink flakes formed a circle in the center of her soup. Surrounding it were a bundle of moon-white mushrooms, a twist of dark green leaves, several translucent slices of a root, and a golden, gelled yolk nestled in two halves of a small, cream egg white. Nora slid her spoon just below the surface, scooping up both soup and a few dots of oil. She sipped it from her spoon. Heat from the spices and peppers warmed her mouth. The fish flavor was subtle and almost sweet. Nora scooped in a spoonful of rice and took a larger bite.

~

Nora sat on the other side of the tray. He had brought hummus, puffed rice crackers, grilled bananas, and a variety of berries. “This looks delicious.” Ambrose spread some hummus on a cracker and held it out for Nora to take. “I had them add extra lemon to the hummus for your preferred abomination.”

~

Nora sent him to find them a place to sit while she purchased for them: two bowls of small bowl of cool, sticky rice mixed with black beans, coconut, and mango.

~

Ambrose met them near the door of the dining room with a large platter of steamed buns. “My treat, today,” he said. Nora had not arranged anything special for lunch, content with whatever the Academy had ordered in, and so had no issue shifting to steamed buns instead. Gabriel likewise shrugged.

~

“Why luna buns?” Ivy gave her a confused look, but then turned back to her pot. She pulled another spoon from the spoon cup and used it to fish out the one she’d dropped. “They’re the first thing I learned to make. I was too sick to attend the festival on Astelanon so my papa learned how to make luna buns so I wouldn’t miss out.” Her voice, sweet as ever, rang with a note of sadness. “We didn’t have a grill, so he fried the rice instead of grilling it. That’s still my favorite way to make them.” She washed off the spoon that had fallen into her pot and dropped it back into the correct cup.

“No letters yet?” Nora asked, remembering Ivy’s tears from nearly two months ago.

Ivy shook her head. “Do you prefer your ginger syrup hot or sweet?”

“Hot.”

Ivy shot her a quick smile over her shoulder. “Me too. Papa prefers sweet though. He always says his life has had enough spice and that he deserves some sweetness now.” Ivy removed the pot from the heat and gave it one more stir. She then piled her bowl of cooked rice and a bowl of water onto the empty tray and moved them to the table beside Nora. Ivy wet her hands and scooped up some rice to roll into a ball. “He likes fillings in his buns, too. I prefer plain, though.” She glanced up at Nora. “More ginger flavor that way.”

Nora nodded, somewhat disbelieving she and Ivy had this one thing in common. “I prefer plain, too.” Gabriel liked his stuffed with a lemon curd. Ambrose preferred chopped nuts and cardamom.

~

“Get us a table,” she ordered the others. “I’ll get us some tirazi.”

Gabriel and Ambrose looked puzzled, but Ivy’s eyes widened. “What flavors do they have?” she asked.

“Sweet cream and a sour cherry jam,” Nora said. “You’ve had them?”

“One of my babysitters growing up was from Tegata. She’d make them for special days. Ask if they have lemon cream?”

“I will,” Nora promised. Then, unsure why, she did. The shopkeep did have lemon cream. She also had passion fruit curd.

(Note: Tirazi are fried sweet dough with fillings.)

~

Nora did not know how to respond to that. She took a bite of her rice. It was unctuous with rich duck meat, soft egg yolks, and a thread of sweet mustard for balance. She savored the bite to give herself a moment to think.

~

The family table was not covered with a variety of dishes. Instead, Nora only counted five serving plates or bowls, each filled with one of the king’s favorite foods. Outside, Nora knew the others dined a starry sky’s worth of small dishes, each exquisitely flavored. Family did not need such a show of wealth.

[...]

Ambrose returned carrying a bottle of esal, a fruit wine made from plums and pineapples.

~

The next day, Nora sent out for a picnic lunch with a variety of pickled fruits and vegetables with soft patties of pounded rice and a variety of sauces.

~

But then Gabriel asked, “What did Fletcher want?” His focus was on his meal, a thick stew of vegetables and spices and a side of spongy flatbread. Ambrose, however, was focused fully on her.

[...]

“I won’t ask for details then,” Ivy said, scooping up some of her stew with her bread. Not a single drop fell onto her dress. Nora glanced down at her own bowl and the spoon she was using to eat. Before she would have pointed out how uncouth Ivy was for using her bread like a spoon and part of her ached to say the same now, but she knew they weren’t true. Plenty of people didn’t need utensils to eat like Nora did. They were graceful enough to manage without.

~

“Nowhere,” Nora said quickly. She stuffed a bite of sticky rice and fruit into her mouth. The mint chopped through the dish was cooling.

~

The girl was back and carrying a large plate and forks. “Apologies, your highness. I didn’t mean to hear or interrupt, but my brother really will slaughter me if I don’t give you some pie. You’ll like it. His pies are the best. He makes his own flour blend.” She slipped the pie onto the table and handed each of them a fork.

[...]

Nora took a small bite. The pie had a floral lemon filling that melted over her tongue. The crust was flaky instead of the dense crusts she was accustomed to. She savored the bite, her eyes fluttering closed. When she opened them again, Ambrose was looking away, blushing again, and Gabriel was shaking his head.

~

Ambrose carried the small tray of sweets over to the table Ivy had chosen inside. He had bought Nora two cinnamon cookies as promised and a golden brown bar for himself. The bar was a smoky caramel brownie the bakery had designed just for Ambrose during one of their many visits prior to joining the Academy. Many sweet shops across the city had added some menu items over the years to appeal to his need for smoky, even burnt flavors.

Ivy had also chosen a cookie, though hers was topped with a soft pink icing. She ate oddly, Nora noticed. After taking one small bite, Ivy scraped off a bit of icing and savored it slowly. Then, she scraped off another piece. Her gaze was studious, but not focused on anything in particular. Then she ate some of the plain cookie without frosting. Again, she chewed very slowly. Finally, she took another normal bite.

Nora glanced at Ambrose to see if he was noticing her behavior as well. He was. “Is everything all right?” Ambrose asked.

Ivy’s cheeks darkened. “Sorry. I had expected a vanilla frosting that would soften the sharpness of the lemon in the cookie, but it isn’t just vanilla. The frosting has a very slight fruit element as well, though not as fresh as the lemon. A tea perhaps? The cookie is also incredibly soft, almost as if—excuse me.” She stood and strode over to the counter. She spoke to the clerk for a moment and then the clerk fled to the kitchen. A moment later, a tall man with arms like barrels exited the kitchen.

Ivy greeted him with a smile. “My apologies for disturbing you,” she said. “I was enjoying your lemon cookie and I had a few questions.” She confirmed the use of tea in the frosting and then turned the discussion to the flours used in the cookie. The baker denied using any rice flours in the cookies which prompted Ivy to ask, “Are you friends with a winemaker then, perhaps?”

~

“Clever,” Nora said. “My suggestion is The Broken Wheel. They’re another bakery and make rather delicious spiced meat steamed buns.”

~

“Teo finally convinced his father to add some food to the menu. He said if we give him a day’s warning, he’ll include those big, sticky cinnamon buns on the day’s menu and save us a few.”

“How long have you known about this?” Nora asked, imagining the soft, warm, spicy buns. Teo was two years older than they were and worked in his father’s bar at the harbor. Thanks to his good relationships with merchants, he had access to ingredients others couldn’t afford—like the cinnamon for Nora’s buns.

~

Nora took a bite of her millet cake. Warmth filled her mouth, which matched well with the spicy ginger tisane.

~

Nora noticed he barely touched his food—a cool mint and carrot soup and steamed meat buns. It was simple fare, but appropriate for the holiday.

~

Petra filled a small tray with a variety of steamed buns, indicating which were leftover from lunch and which were filled with fruit jelly. She also boiled some water and fixed up a pot of tea. “Tell the prince this is from my private stash,” Petra advised her. “If he wants more, his father needs to finalize his trade deal with Creldyn.”

~

On the bench, Viola divided the half-dozen tirazi between them. Nora chose one with a dot of speckled cream poking out of one end. It was still warm and the fragrant vanilla cream filled her mouth with delight. She hummed in pleasure.

[...]

She selected another tirazi, this one smeared with a bit of red jam. The nutty dough complemented the sour cherries well.

~

Ambrose sprinkled more smoky pepper over his fish as he thought. “I’m sure they’d find need of me if I showed up, but no one’s sent word I need to be home.”

“Good. What do you think, Gabriel?”

Gabriel swallowed a bite of lemon rice. “I’d planned on visiting the harbor, but something new sounds fun.”

~

“Pickles. Fried pickles on a stick.”

~

“Yes, Petra,” Nora said in a tone she knew would make Petra roll her eyes. Nora followed the corridor into the kitchens and passed along Petra’s instructions. Within moments one of the bakers had her nestled next to a big belly oven with a roll of spongy flatbread spread with honey in one hand and a mug of sweetened tisane in the other. The aroma of rich spices and fish filled the kitchen. The various kitchen servants chattered and shared gossip. Nora withstood the warmth of the oven side seat for two bites of her bread before slowly sneaking away from the kitchen to an outer, cooler room.

~

Around dinner time, the kitchen staff brought her a small tray of rice and the same rich fish curry she’d smelled earlier.

[ailelie]

Behold the next chunk of the story. This will end the Term portion of the story and open up the Tour portion. If I try for traditional publishing, this would be end of Book 1.

I'm hoping I can get through the above in about 40k. Two scenes may get cut or moved to just summary in another scene. A couple may be close to 8k, but most should be between 500 and 1,000 words.

ETA: I did not realize tumblr would make my picture huge. Apologies.

[ailelie]

If I keep at my current pacing in this book, it is going to be 300-500k.

That is ridiculous!

No one is ever going to read this. A veritable brick about teenagers and fantasy politics.

[ailelie]

In Nora's Return, they don't use wood, except for boats. And the wood of old boats are used for the execution platform, but sailors can get permission to use the wood for other things (e.g., someone builds a cafe that horrifies Nora at one point and even after she learns the wood was not stolen, she still feels uneasy). The rest may be mulched and returned to the forests (still deciding!).

Trees are their graveyards. Bodies are divided into blood, bone, and flesh. Bones are ground up and mixed with the blood and then buried among trees. The flesh is burned and the ashes left in the forest or grove for the wind to spread.

When they do fell trees for boats, there's a whole remembrance ceremony that affirms that the tree is one of many and the memories and names it carries will be given to other trees to hold.

(Most boats in Astelanen harbors are foreign).

The point of all this being: instruments.

They have bamboo, reeds, ceramics, and clay. Oh, and metal. Glass is limited. Animal horn and skin are also available.

What does their world sound like?

Right now I mention a violin, but it hits me wrong each time b/c I think violin and I think 'wood.' Which is very wrong. But I don't want a percussion-heavy sound.

I saw one site that suggested erhu could be made from bamboo, but a deeper search seems to say that's wrong.

There are definitely flutes and drone flutes (b/c drone flutes are incredibly cool).

I see that you can make a ukelele with bamboo, but that doesn't quite have the feel of an orchestra, you know? Are there stringed instruments that don't use hardwood?

I suppose such instruments could be made with the leftover wood from shipbuilding, but then I'd definitely need to call out the honor of being allowed to use one of the very rare wooden instruments.

(You could import wood, but people still don't for the most part. It just feels wrong).

[ailelie]

Something helpful about Nora's Return is that the story is clear from the premise.

The goals, I mean.

Nora's goal is to (a) avoid dying and (b) expose/confront her aunt and uncle.

She sets on those goals within the first 5k words.

Her character arc is fuzzier, but is also loosely defined in that first 5k as "be nice." Over time she'll understand that being nice is a poor substitute for true empathy and she'll learn to be empathetic and trusting.

Everything else connects to either her goal or her arc. Many connect to both.

So there's this very clear thrust from the very start of the story and it is going to carry through all the way to the end. How Nora decides to expose/confront her aunt and uncle will shift and change based on her arc, but the confrontation is always going to happen.

As long as this story is going to be, I appreciate this momentum.

[ailelie]

Look at that ridiculous word count today. I'm over 73k now!

[ailelie]

Before the villainess travels into the past...

Here is the base story most are working with:

The have-not girl who ends up surrounded by the haves. She's diligent and caring. She has goals. Maybe she has a special power or maybe she receives a special blessing. This draws jealousy. How dare that unworthy girl have anything worth wanting?! She draws the attention of a guy who likes her diligence or needs her power or loves her lack of pretense. She tries to avoid him, but can't. They become friends and this draws more jealousy. Again, how dare she have something worth wanting? Jealousy turns into threats and physical bullying. The guy only becomes more ardent. He stands up for her in front of everyone, declaring her worthy. Maybe she does something that shows off her worthiness as well. The bullies are revealed and ousted. The day is saved. All is well.

Then, one of those bullies travels back to the beginning or before the beginning.

Too many stories give the bully, this villainess, character development she hasn't earned yet. Usually, she decides to avoid the male and female lead. But why should the villainess abdicate so easily? Then again, she has no reason to believe she'll get a third chance. If she screws up again, she could die for real this time.

(In my story, Nora doesn't avoid Ambrose exactly. She feels betrayed and hurt by him and struggles to forgive that early on. Then, once she does, she's certain he is destined for Ivy, so she decides to inject herself into his love story so that, even once he is with Ivy, he can't leave her behind. He'll have to thank her for helping him with Ivy. To Ambrose, though, his best friend and arranged-bride since childhood is suddenly distant and continuously pushing him toward others while seeking out new friendships of her own. In his fear of her leaving him behind, he cleaves closer to her. He's hurt when she pushes him toward Ivy. Nora is utterly confused by this.)

So what happens to the original female lead?

Too many stories make her evil, in my opinion. Too many others seem to think her story was only romance. The original female lead becomes a paper cut-out when she should have a rich and interesting background and goals beyond romance.

Some stories solve this by having the villainess and original female lead become friends.

(This is what happens to Nora as well. She doesn't want to be friends with Ivy, but her plan of helping Ambrose to his romance requires interacting with Ivy and being nice. Ivy takes this an overture of friendship and refuses to let go, even when she realizes Nora doesn't actually like her. This slowly develops into friendship. Ivy has her own issues she's dealing with and gets a crush on Nora's brother, Gabriel, who is dating Jonas. In the second book, Ivy and Jonas will fake a relationship to save Ivy from an unwanted betrothal.)

The best stories, though, are more than romance. The villainess, after traveling to the past, realizes she has a chance to avert tragedy -- especially a tragedy she helped perpetuate.

(In my story, Nora is manipulated by the true villains into supporting the imperial cause. She is still very guilty of her own actions, but her viewpoint and such were all shaped by others. Upon traveling to the past, she decides to turn against that viewpoint because it led to her own death. She struggles with this, though. She starts the story with a very negative opinion of her older sister, but slowly realizes that her sister is actually very competent and supportive. She also has to figure out what her stance is. She doesn't support the empire anymore, but she still has issues with the current government (of which she is, by dint of nobility, part of).)

Anyway. It'll be a while before I can return to Nora and her story, but it is never far from mind.