Anon Advice Asks - March 12
normalize anon (new), jensi anon, coffee shop anon (new), game anon (new), pg anon
normalize anon
around 2 years ago, my older brother told me...
I think it's really normal and natural to have some resentment for this! It wasn;t okay at all for him to put you in this position, and I can't imagine how that felt. I hope you know that if anyone ever does that again, it's okay to tell someone.
Are you able to see a therapist? I really think it might be helpful to work through some of this, you know? You don't deserve to have this affecting your whole life <3
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coffee shop anon
Hi, I’ve been following you for a while and you seem to give great advice so I was if you could help me out. I’m 18y, female, and a lesbian but I’ve never had like a single romantic or sexual experience like ever. I met this really cute girl at a coffee shop and we’re going ice skating on a date soon. I really want it to go well bc I like her. I’m also autistic so I’m not very good with social cues. Idk like what to expect and idk if I should try to kiss her at the end or something. Sorry for rambling 🫶🫶 thank u for any advice or like anything. In any case thank u for listening. ✨✨
Hi!
Ugh this is a hard one because kissing at the end really depends on vibes which are harder to feel out when you struggle with social cues. And we are also 99 percent sure I am autistic so like...I am not the best person to help with this lol.
I think you need to look for physical contact. If she's making a lot of excuses to touch you, then that's usually a good sign. Also if she's looking at your lips, she probably wants a kiss.
But I think since it's your first date, you should mostly pay attention to how YOU feel. It's okay to just keep it casual and not kiss her if you don't want to. It's okay to let her make the first move. And it's okay to tell her you're nervous and you're not sure what you're doing, too. If it makes you feel any better, my wife and I didn't kiss on our first date.
I'm wishing you so much luck and please update me if you think of it!
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game anon
Let me introduce to you a question I didn't understand why was wrong at the moment.
There is a 'game' in middle school or elementary school.
'You can't make your elbows touch' the boys say.
They said to me when I was a child.
And I can't get mad, because god, we were 12 and they weren't even aware what they were asking. But like, it's disgusting. It's disgusting how those little boys could think of that. How sucked up is this.
If you don't know, the elbows can't touch thing is so the girls will try, and they can absolutely. But while on it their chests get squished by their arms and make them more 'seeable'. That's disgusting, btw, I think, but it's literally a thing, and I didn't know for a long time.
ugh that's horrible. Yeah middle school boys can be awful. I'm sorry this happened to you </3 I'm glad you at least know now that it was wrong.
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PG anon
God, you really can't catch a break, huh? I'm so sorry </3. I'm glad this friend at least has a good prognosis.
No, I didn't get the last ask...according to my lovely spreadsheet, the last time I answered something for you was february 28th. But I'm glad you had some positive things to share! And of course, rant away!
As for your friend who you're worried about, could you call or texts them to check on them? I know it;s not the same, but any reassurance is something, right? I hope your dance thing goes well!
I'm sending hugs to you too <3