#pg anon

[my-castles-crumbling]

Anon Advice Asks - January 3rd

awful middle school anon, PG anon, sapphic ship anon, scared of college anon (new), mirrorball anon

awful middle school anon

I really wanna get in trouble :(

Like, in the fun sense. I want to be like all the tv shows and have like… friends who live close to me who I can just go out and talk to, but all my friends are from school, but it’s a private school, so the closest friend lives like, half an hour away on a good day, and my farthest friend lives (no joke) 2 hours away on an ideal day. And when I’m around my friends it’s fun, but they’re not like… the ones, if that makes sense? I love them so much but, we can’t have difficult conversations and they drain my energy (like most people do, so it’s not like a toxic friend situation). My life feels kinda boring, honestly, which to be honest is a much better place than where I was a year or two ago, but still. I want to have somewhere to go… a third space I guess? But like more than that.

I guess I want a place like hogwarts was for the marauders? With people I love and things to actually do, instead of the same 3 stores on my neighborhood’s busiest street. I want to get into trouble with friends and run laughing. I don’t want to feel, like, so afraid of my parents finding out (my parents can be pretty scary, and… really hurtful)—but that’s part of the issue too, ‘cause I have no one irl to tell about this. All the books and movies and musicals, etc… the characters have real people to talk to about stuff like this. I just have to ruminate on how to walk on eggshells so their mood stays happy all on my own :(

I already feel like I wasted my teenage years even though I know that’s a stupid sentiment. I survived them (or I guess am surviving them since they’re far from over yet) but now the idea of being a person is staring me in the face and not in a good way. I want to be a person, my own person with energy and memories. Not a person who’s always on the grind, and is a perfect candidate for college applications. Im 99% my worst fear (getting rejected from all colleges) won’t happen. I’ve done things like the SATs but to get into middle school and high school. I can handle it… but it all feels wrong somehow, and I don’t know why.

I know what would help make all this weird stuff I’ve been ruminating over, but I don’t have that :( a shoulder to cry on or someone to talk to in real life about how I’m feeling. I just hate feeling so isolated. I want to be a real person, but I don’t want to be like… a person. I don’t want to be one thing. I want to be me. I’d love to be a clinical psychologist, but the very idea of being one thing hurts. If I do one thing I can’t do everything else. I can’t be a professional actor and a psychologist and a professional singer and musician and author and everything else. I know that I can do the things I love in whatever life I have when I’m older but not having the “potential” everyone praises me for is scary.

What if I’m not enough? They all said I’d do something great one day and they’d see me on tv but what if I’m not…? What if I want a quiet life and want to just be my own person? What if I don’t want what they want? I’m so scared. And what makes it worse is that I can’t stop thinking about it :( I feel too self aware, like I’m always thinking about myself and how to live my life instead of thinking as myself and as I’m living my life

I just wish I was less scared. I wish I could just have fun and get into trouble I guess

—awful middle school anon

(And thank you for what you said in my last ask. I never told anyone about what happened in like… a real genuine way. It’s always played for jokes on the rare occasion I mention it. Same with the rest of my middle school stories, so it means a lot)

Hi!

I want you to know that the way you're feeling- all of this fear about growing up and messing up and missing out....I've been there. I also grew up isolated, and I felt like I'd fucked up by not doing enough. And so many people feel pressured to do EVERYTHING in adulthood, it's such a scary, awful feeling.

The truth is, things get both better and worse in college. You get all of this freedom to explore and learn and make mistakes and it's exhilarating. All of the things you think you missed out on? You'll be able to do them. You'll find a close community and be able to do stupid things and be able to be a kid and it'll be awesome! (Just don't be TOO stupid) but the pressure to find yourself will also feel insane.

Just remember that you don't HAVE to do everything perfectly. You don't have to have a plan, you don't have to know for sure. You can change your mind and make mistakes, and have no idea what you're doing, even if it seems like everyone else does. Hell, I'm an adult and I have no idea! It's OKAY to feel these things, but just make sure to keep trying and enjoying life, too. You're not alone and things are going to keep changing and getting better, I promise <3

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PG anon

Hi!

Ugh, my heart breaks for everything that is going on with you. Like I'm glad that your friend is getting therapy and you're being more open about your identity and you're seeing doctors, but just the WEIGHT of everything? I want to scream with anxiety just reading this (but like...not in a guilt-trip way, I promise) and it's not even my life! I'm so proud of you for pushing on and recognizing the positives. I'm also really proud of you because as I read what you wrote, I could tell you were recognizing healthy boundaries and when things were wrong. You've managed to stay very....real, even with all of this shit, and that's truly commendable.

With your health, I am NOT a doctor, but have you asked them to check your thyroid? You're right, you don't want it do just be dismissed and I'm so glad they checked your heart, but I know a couple people with thyroid issues that have similar symptoms. Could be worth an ask!

I hope you have a great time at Hadestown today and remember you can always vent in my inbox! <3

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sapphic ship anon

she was like "i saw this thing that reminded me of you and my other best friend" DOES THAT MEAN SHE SEES ME AS ONE OF HER BEST FRIENDS NOW? SHE WAS LIKE "IT TAKES ME AGES TO SEE SOMEONE AS THAT" BUT WE'VE ONLY KNOW ECAH OTHER FOR MONTHS AJSHSBS

anyways we have this fine dining thingy and I don't have anyt like fitting to wear SO SHE OFFERED TO LET ME TRY HER CLOTHES UNTIL WE FOUND ONE!! BUT THE ISSUE IS LIKE I'm a bigger than her and I'm scared of stretching out her cloths cos their legit pretty and I do have a huge stomach so ack this is terrible

moving on I told my friends i liked her and they all said "I told you so" WHAT DO YOU MEAN!!! anyways I'm seeing her Monday soon so yayyyy

Hi!

it certainly seems like she sees you that way, that's awesome! I totally understand your fear with clothes, I've had that problem, too. But remember, everyone fits clothing differently, so she could be a similar clothing size to you even if her body is different. My best friends and I are the same size even though my stomach is bigger than hers because she has bigger boobs, lol. Remember, your body is beautiful as it is <3

Also, it seems like your friends clocked your feelings lol. Have fun seeing her on Monday!

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scared of college anon (new)

I’m scared to go to college :( with undiagnosed depression and autism and adhd how do I take care of myself? With bad period cramps, and getting sick… is it bad I want a group of friends like the marauders? Who took care of Remus with his own medical issues and stuff?

I don’t think I can take care of myself on my own with all my issues. I’m scared of what will happen to me if I’m all on my own. I definitely can’t stay living at home because I can’t keep on with my parents anymore (they’re lovely but can be so hurtful a lot of the time) but what happens when I’m in pain and can’t go on alone? :(

Hi!

This is definitely such a real fear- college is a HUGE change and a big step up in independence. I have to say, though, being in college was one of the EASIEST times I had, taking care of myself. Most colleges have free mental health services and a free clinic right on campus! No need to drive, and no need to search for doctors. It's like...how healthcare should be, you know? College was the first time I was really able to actually just...go to the doctor when I needed it, without worrying about repercussions or scheduling. Once you know what school you're going to (or if you're trying to decide) you should look up the health services on the campus(es) and see what's available to you. Odds are, there will be something within easy access and knowing that information might ease your fear a bit <3

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mirrorball anon

My parents are so

Ugh

I made a vague statement about needing to look for a job and my mom yelled at me for "being entitled and just expecting her to drive me somewhere to work"

I dont have a car, I WONT have a car if I dont have a job. So I dont know what her fucking thought process here is.

And my dad just has to treat me like im fucking stupid, because dont you know that if HE was 16 (im 17 but who the fuck cares about that he sure doesnt) and had the internet, he would've just made money on is own

So im fucking sorry im not as smart as he is, im just an idiot like every other fucking teenager in the world thats worked a shitty job to save money

I cant even fucking save to move out IF I CANT GET A JOB

I hate it here

-🪩

Hi <3

Ugh, yes, this is such a problem with so many places, especially in the US. There's no public transport, and everything is so damn expensive, that it's like...you need a job to get a job. It's awful. Everything is inaccessible and there are so many roadblocks. I'm sorry that you're dealing with that, and your parents are minimizing it, because it's definitely a societal problem that I think a lot of older people don't fully comprehend.

[my-castles-crumbling]

Anon Advice Asks - August 18

midnights anon, parent rant anon (new), frog stuffie guy anon, pg anon, @teasiswriter

midnights anon

Hi Cas! How are you? It’s midnights anon again

Schools almost starting up and I feel so stressed already. Like, I know I’ve been looking forward to escaping home but I feel so tired already. I think I just hate transitions? I guess it kind of messes with my head. Like, I want to be a student again and do the things and be smart and learn and have direction, but going from depressed lonely loser to straight A student always feels super hard.

And thank you for the kind words, about the “toughing it out” and stuff. I’ve been trying to find ways to let myself feel and not just have my head be all fuzzy and weird. To do so I’ve started a few projects! I always feel good when I have a specific goal in my life, so I’m starting to design a cardigan/sweater to crochet, and I’m also knitting a really long thingy out of yellow yarn because I missed color and I was sad. It’s not really gonna be anything, other than something that brings me joy and calms me down (even though dad said that was a waste) and I’m really excited! And I’m also trying to do this thing called “therapy time”, it’s not actually therapy but it’s where I write in my journal for a while but like, with more chutzpah? I burn incense and drink tea in front of my window and read a cool book I got called “finger exercises for poets” that has cool poetry exercises. I haven’t gotten to properly try it out because of executive dysfunction, running out of time, being distracted and feeling overwhelmed, etc., but I’m trying my best!

Also, is it normal to be afraid of my parents?Whenever I see a parent yelling/speaking sternly to their child in the shows I watch, the kid just seems fine? Whenever my parents do that, I get super scared of them. Am I overreacting?

Thank you for reading my rambles, you’re awesome.

Bye bye!

Hi!

As far as school, I feel this so much. Like I know going back to school (as a teacher) will be good for me because like...routine, something to focus my brain on, etc, but...the transition always kills me. So just know you're not alone. The teachers are stressed too lol.

It sounds like you're doing some really cool things to help yourself, I love that!

And as far as your parents...I mean, I guess it depends on who you ask? Like...*I* don't think you should be afraid of your parents. I think kids should respect their parents and want to listen to them because of their respect for them. but also, parents need to gain that respect by being decent people. I think past generations of parents believed that fear was a good thing but imo I think it just leads to shit relationships down the road and kids hiding things. I also think it can be a possible red flag.

<3

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parent rant anon

Hi cas. I need to rant about my parents

Ok so heres the thing. I cant even comolain about my parents bc they arent abusive or neglectful or anything like that and my mom lets me go out to stuff super last minute and lets me go home early for cramps and gives me too much money to go to the mall and whatever.

But i dont think my parents understand what parenting is.

(redacted)

Hi!

So first of all, you dont sound spoiled. Second, some of this DOES sound borderline neglectful. Like the food stuff, especially when you were younger...that's a lot.

I think the things people don't realize is like...parents can /not/ be awful and ALSO have no idea how to parent. And it sounds like your parents might fit into that category. And that's really hard to think about, expecially as a kid, because like...yeah, your mom might be chill, but she also seems to not have even learned how to BE A MOM. Which is messed up and you have a right to be sad about that! So many people say 'oh it could be worse' but you can just say 'this sucks' and leave it at that! you're ALLOWED to be sad and mad <3 I'm sending you love and you're welcome to rant in my inbox any time.

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frog stuffie guy anon

It's me i guess, i'm doing ok

I just got a fair amount of money i was owed from the government [about £280 {idk how much that is in dollars}] so i could get some cool shit for my little one room flat. [literally one room, i have my bedroom and the bathroom and i share a kitchen with people in flats beside me] I got a rug for the first time ever. i even got myself a coatrack because i have so many jackets and jumpers, and a bedside table [which, i suppose i didnt strictly need but it's nice to have]

idk positive thing i guess, im just so fucking tired for some reason, and my mobility issues are kicking my ASS after getting all that into my flat. and my flat is a MESS bc i've been rearranging all my furniture. but it's good, life is good. I'm still alive so it only gets better from there

I hope you're having a good time of it too, what with schools going back soon [well for england, idk about the usa]

Frog stuffie guy [for the record i do actually have a frog stuffie. he was a gift from a friend and he's very cute]

Hi! congrats on your rug and coatrack, that's awesome! I feel like things like that can make such a difference, you know? I hope your mobility issues get a bit better soon <3 I'm glad things are going relatively well! <3

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pg anon

Hi!

fest - yay, I'm excited to read! I wonder if it's one of the ones I already looked over or not...hmmm

musical- oh that sounds so fun! I'm so glad it boosted your confidence!

Friends - ugh what you said about being so done with making new friends, I feel that so much. it's just so exhausting and lonely to make new friends only to have it fall through again. I get it, and you're not the only one. I'm so sorry your old friends treated you like that though <3

B/ the ex - that sounds so devastating. I can't even imagine how hurtful it is to be reminded of that all the time. Remember though, you CAN take an emotional step back even if you can't take a physical step back. what I mean by that is like...try to invest your time and energy into other people. invest it in YOURSELF. YOU deserve to be cared for and loved how you need it. Also...Sunset Tower on Wishbone?

Exams - this IS absolutely terrifying but I know you won't fail everything <3 I believe in you and I can't wait to hear about how well you do! lmk when you get the results, okay?

Iron/health idk anymore - i forget if I asked this, but are iron supplements available over the counter where you are? they are here, so maybe you could do that? (your doctor should be like...doing their job and figuring shit out but I digress)

Thank you for the cookies and the positives! <3

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@teasiswriter

I DROVE A CAR 🚙

My parents are finally teaching me how to drive and I’m SO excited. I’m much younger than all of my friends so I’ll probably get my license and permit much later, but I’m trying not to let that worry me!

Also I saw this person online talking about their autism and things they can’t do because of it, and they mentioned they can’t drive because of it, and I was wondering how that worked. Not in the way that I like, doubt them and what they go through (their autism and capabilities are fairly similar to mine) but I was rather curious as to that limitation would work,

And then I drove, and OH. MY. GOSH. I get it. I get the struggling and fear and just, overwhelm and, in this person’s case, the inability to drive. like, the lights??? The buttons??? The blinkers and signaling and automatic drive and the PRND and the EVERYTHING. How does it ever feel normal and mundane?? How does anyone ever get used to it??? You’re in charge of a 10 ton vehicle that can go up to inhumane speeds, and you’re… not terrified???

congrats on driving!!!

yeah driving is SO overwhelming at first, especially if autism/other things affect your sensory processing. Not sure where you drove for the first time but I'd suggest going to like...a big empty parking lot or an industrial park. it's SO much less stressful when there's less people and you can focus on just getting control of the car and learning how the buttons work.

Also don't be like me and try to eat and drive right after you get your license and almost crash into your house

[my-castles-crumbling]

Anon Advice Asks - August 11

pg anon, heal anon (new), the anon, red anon, hygiene anon (new)

pg anon

Friends -ahhh okay I think I understand. tbh...I DONT miss being younger and dealing with all the friend group shit lol. Reading about it from an outside perspective, I'm like...wow this is a LOT.

School - ooo meeting up is a good idea! I'm glad you'll still be able to do that even if you aren't in the same classes

Fest - yes if you're comfortable, please send me the link! now I'm trying to figure out who you are lol, since I'm a mod for that fest. is it sad I'm still not sure? I'm not good at this stuff.

Musical- awww that sounds so fun and I'm so glad you made a new friend! Would I know the name of the musical??

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heal anon

cas i just saw this tiktok about how you can’t heal in the place you got hurt and i feel that so deeply in my bones because my best friend has hurt me several times over the past two years and every time they’ve said they’d change they haven’t but when i stopped being friends with them it became a whole issue because i was “so important to them” and this time they’ve actually changed but i just keep waiting for the other foot to drop bc that’s how it’s been like every time before and i kinda want to distance myself from them because i genuinely want to get better and stop having those depressive episodes because of what they did bc our friendship used to have like a huge impact on my life but they don’t want to let go of me because they want to fix things and i want to as well but i genuinely don’t know if i can see past what happened because it wasn’t just once and it wasn’t always a whole big thing (there were two, maybe three major points) and they knew it was hurting me because i told them and they were always so dismissive of it like after every major argument/issue i’d be like “what you did fucking hurt” and they’d just make it about them and how i had hurt them?? even when i hadn’t and their other justification was always “you hurt me before” referring to something that i had unconsciously been doing three years back (three years from this year, so one/two years at the time of these incidents) and i was like “you legit never told me that you felt like this, if i had known, i would’ve stopped” but they knew because i told them and they’d just tell me to get over it or talk about how their feelings had been hurt and they had valid reasons for just giving me the silent treatment out of nowhere over things that had nothing to do with me and people that came into her life years after i did and are gone now. they sidelined me for those people and told me that i at leas had other friends (in comparison to one of those people) when i told them i was lonely. and now they’re always like “we can’t move on if you keep holding these grudges” but the shit they did affected my life so much and i just wish that i could stop holding those grudges on my behalf and the behalf of other people who also got hurt and just go back to when our friendship was actually good but if they hurt me for the last two years and i’ve hurt them the year before that, it hasn’t really been good in a long time and that’s like half of our friendship (we’ve been friends for six years) and when we’re good, we’re great, we’re best friends, there’s no one closer than us but when we’re not, idk about them but i’m always irritated and mad and frustrated and depressed and i miss them but i hate them at the same time for doing this and it kinda just takes over my whole life in a way that other people notice and i just don’t want to put myself through those episodes again.

Hi!

yeah this sounds really frustrating because it seems like every time you try to talk to your friend about your feelings, it turns into "well I'M also mad!" which just feels like it's negating you.

Honestly I think the only way you can solve this is either processing it or communicating about it or both. And since they don't seem to be willing to communicate healthily, then taking space seems like the best way. It also seems like your friend isn't prioritizing your mental health...so you need to!

If I was you, I'd take space, too. Try to take some time to think about what you feel, and what you need from your friendship with this person so you can set boundaries with them and make sure to hold them firm. And remember it's OKAY to set boundaries. Your mental health is worth it <3

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the anon

It’s the anon. I got some disaster out stuff to say, I’m also crying as I write this so apologies in advance

I genuinely can’t stop getting pissed off at myself by now. I still haven’t broken up with them. I still haven’t shut them out, and I keep on finding more and more things that are major red flags

I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it, but both of us are polyamorous. Anywho- they’ve said to me that they don’t like me being polyamorous because they’re afraid of losing me. Which is fair, but they haven’t. Hell, no one else likes me (which I’ll come back to the “no one likes me” thing it a bit)

But them? They got into a poly relationship with two other people around two weeks ago, without asking me beforehand, and already they are at the same level that I am with my partner after two years, two years vs two weeks, that’s kinda messed up

Now, the whole “no one liking me” thing. I was literally just messaging them cuz another person likes them and they’re confused, and I said smth like “I don’t have experience with this cus no one likes me” and they replied with “well I’m trying to keep it that way” so when I replied with “what? Are you trying to make sure no one likes me (/j)” they sent back a message saying “wellllll, I meaannnn, uhhhhh, I won’t confirm or deny that fact?”

DUDE WE ARE BOTH POLY YET YOURE TRYING TO KEEP PEOPLE FROM LIKING ME??? I LITERALLY HAD TO BITE MY TONGUE AND LOOK UP AT MY CEILING TO STOP MYSELF FROM CRYING AND SENDING THEM AN ANGRY MESSAGE

it’s just red flag after red flag, and I’m so confused. It’s like they’ve altered my brain. I snapped at them earlier when we were on call, but when they snapped back at me I melted like putty in their hands simply because I was terrified of “hurting them”. As of they aren’t hurting me??

God, I’m so confused. I don’t get it. Why can’t I just break up with them and cut contact?? Why does this have to be so difficult?

(On other, positive notes. I met a guy with an accent during my summer school and OH MY GOD he was almost exactly what I’ve imagined regulus would look like. He’s from New Zealand and when he first spoke to me I nearly dissolved cuz oh lord accents are hot ((too bad I will never see the man again))

Anyways, I’m gonna go back to trying to help my partner all while also trying not to get pissed at them.

Hi <3

Um so you're right, this is a HUGE red flag. the whole point of being poly is that all people involved are clear about communicating their wants, needs, and boundaries, and then all of those things are respected. Not only is your partner not respecting you by not talking to you about other partners (seems like something you said you wanted in the past?) but they're being absolutely controlling by scaring away potential other partners for you. It seems like they're not truly poly, they just want to be able to date whoever they want while the people they date can't have that same freedom! That's NOT okay (unless everyone agrees to that)

But I do have to say, when you say 'why can't I just leave?' hon, I've been in a controlling relationship before and I know how hard it is. It's SCARY and it feels like your partner is the only person who can ever love you and that you're not worthy of anything better. But your partner has done that on purpose. It's a classic sign of an unhealthy relationship, when you feel like you couldn't find anyone else. Please know that not only could you find someone else, you will be okay even if you're alone for a bit. You are strong and smart and you deserve so much better than this <3

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red anon

Being friends and or having positive relationships with homophobic/trasphobic/racist people

I hate how black and white the internet thinks this topic is. I saw a post rebloged by a moot going along the lines of if you are friends/ have friendly relationship with this type of people you are one two and fuck you

In the past I've had another person lecture ne over this as well. Tell me i should cut ties with them. I should stop interacting with them. Im a bad person and hurting the community

And they don't get it. This can't. This people aren't the boogeyman. They aren't some faceless person sprouting bigotry in the side of the road.

They're your father blaming minorities while watching the news. Their your father who is homophobic but still loves you. Your father who takes you out shopping and carried you on his shoulder when you were a kid

Its your grandparents who you can't tell your identity to because they wouldn't get it. Your grandparents that took care of you as a babe and give you money when your parents aren't looking

Its your classmates who you've known since kindergarten. Your classmates who will talk shit about and make offensive jokes about gay people. Your classmates who will let you cheat of of them and who you will hang out with at recess at school trips

When you live in a small town where homophobia is more normal than acceptance sometimes you have to accept that. Not everyone is black or white. They're gray. And the homophobes are also the people who will wave you good morning and have your back when something happens and share their lunch with you when you're hungry

Im not friends friends with anyone home. But I'll never blame someone for it

Red

Hi!

I think for me, my feelings on this are complex. I can kind of understand the point you're making when it's family members. A lot of people have trouble reconciling having bigoted family members because it's hard to see those two sides of those people: the kind, gentle person who raised them and the hateful person who denounces a group. Also, they could be reliant on them. It's a very gray area, to be sure. Personally, *I* have chosen to speak out to and even cut off some of my bigoted family members but I know not everyone has that luxury.

For younger kids, I can also get it a little. A twelve-year-old, for example, might not have the confidence or knowledge or support system to stand up to other kids who are bigoted. They also might be limited in their choices, and let things go out of a need for socialization. I'm an adult, and I'm not going to judge them for that.

But with adults...yeah, I judge them based off their friends. If adults are friends with people who are bigoted, I see that as being bigoted, too. Because it is. It's allowing that. It DOES hurt those communities by allowing that behavior. Silence is being complicit. I have to say I don't care if they've known those friends for ages...people have stopped being friends over less. I don't feel safe around people who are friends with bigots. And I think I have a right to feel like that- I'm queer, I'm trans, and if I don't protect myself, my actual life could be on the line. I'm going to judge when it comes to things like that.

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hygiene anon

Cassssss today I got a friend!!! A guy was so nervous at the shop, looking at a lot of products, and I was waiting for my friend so I watched him a little and noticed he was wearing a trans pin and were circling around the hygiene products, so I went and ask if he wants help.

And he looked at me, gave a nod. (He told me he was nervous bc he was pre t and not passing so people would assume he is buying for himself, which he does, and he doesn't like that)

I am a guy too, cis. But I have three sisters, so when they sync they send me to buy pads lol. The shop owner knows me, cashier is her since it's a small shop, I bought pads and a few chocolate and talked with her as usual, she asked about my sisters etc, regular thing.

That guy seemed too happy? Idk. We talked a while and since we are in a small city I walked with him. In a half joking manner I told him I could buy him regularly while I am buying for my sisters, and he looked so happy?? I don't know it was this easy lol- I don't usually speak to people so him talking with me was different for me! I usually only stay at home, and when I go out I don't get approached.

(look wise, let's say I don't look very ... approachable)

So I am happy! I added his insta and he told me he would like to meet my sisters? I don't know why tbh it's weird but I said sure. Weird day but not bad. He also asked where I go to gym- I wasn't expecting a compliment on my physicue so it made my day! I assumed he wanted to work out so I told him and he said he will check it out.

I guess we are friends now? I think

Anyway this is me getting first human interaction since last five months (suffering from depression lol)

And it will sound stupid but I am kinda proud

omg this is such a sweet story, it almost made me tear up! I'm so glad you met a friend and it was so sweet of you to help him! I hope you guys talk again! You should absolutely be proud, not only was that a very kind thing to do, but socializing can be scary!

[my-castles-crumbling]

Anon Advice Asks - April 18

give up anon (new), 🍋 anon, new relationship anon (new), pg anon, thumbs down anon (new), the anon, grounded anon, functioning anon (new)

give up anon

I don’t really know what to do anymore. My life just feels bad all the time and I’m almost never happy.

(The rest is redacted)

Hi <3

I know it feels absolutely awful to feel like this. I've been there, and it's like...indescribable. But please know that it does get better and the important thing is to be gentle with yourself. Do small things to take care of yourself, and remember that you are worthy of love. Remember that doing anything - taking a shower, going on a walk, finishing a small task - is better than nothing. And, if you're able to, finding a therapist might really help

Sending love!

__________

🍋 anon

Hi it’s 🍋 anon. I FINALLY made a new art account and I’ve started posting. It feels good but omg the pressure. I do want to DM you maybe once I get a little more comfortable I will. Also would to have ideas for what to draw . I’m so thankful to you. I’ve been trying really hard to like my art now after changing my style since I’m trying to be different than what I used to be before and it’s hard, but I’m getting there I think. I think I’m slowly getting there I think and hopefully I’ll soon be able to take commissions and be a great artist 😭😭😭😭

(I would love any encouragement, I do tend to be very self critical) Also if you happen to find me naturally I would love that. It’s a Wolfstar fanart that I’ve posted. But it’s ok if you don’t. Sorry for rambling.

Hi! I'm so glad you're posting art again! You should definitely DM me, I'd love to see it! Congrats on the new account!!

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new relationship anon

Heyy. So, help?

So I am openly trans, and my partner is straight, and it's a new relationship, too recent.

And since I am openly trans, (I have been in pride, I am in lgbtqia club in uni, have been going to doctor regularly, etc.) I thought he knew when we first met. Because like, we met at a pride-like celebration ( in January, it was kinda new year for gays? It is almost the same as pride believe me). He said he came to support his sister (lesbian) and such. We talked there. I didn't had a noticeable flag on me, my nails painted in trans flag colors and my outfit in those colors too but not a flag directly.

Anyway we exchanged numbers, we talked, we talked more, hangout, after about 3 months we started dating at 1 April (bad date to start dating I guess?)

And now, after 15 days, I realized he doesn't know I am..trans? Like. Is he blind.

Blond technically

Anyway, but like, right now I am stressing out because I thought he knew? I have plenty of things around me that screams trans and he doesn't know I guess? What if he doesn't want to date me anymore this is new I don't want to ruin it- I wanted this to be something that lasts..

How do I say him? He is straight, what if he doesn't like me.

Fuck, cas, I am gonna cry

hi!

I mean so...I don't think hiding it is going to go well, in this situation. Like, he's going to find out eventually, you know? And really, why date him if he doesn't like you for who you are?

I think it's just thinking about HOW to tell him? Do you feel safe telling him in person or should it be over text? Should you have someone with you if you tell him irl? I know it's bad to think about, but I've heard stories of trans people getting bad reactions when coming out, and you want to make sure to stay safe.

I mean, I'd hope that he knows. Or at LEAST is supportive, given that you met a a pride event and he supports his sister. But yeah, I'd be like "hey, I wanted to make sure you know..." and go from there.

But remember that if he has a bad reaction, it's NOT a reflection on you or your worth. You deserve love <3

___

pg anon

for friends: I genuinely don't think you can do anything else. all you can do is be there for them as much as your mental health allows. from what you're saying, you've literally done anything I can think of, so the important thing is to just be there, listen, and give them love. But also remember it's okay to step away when you need it. You can't help anyone if you're not feeling well.

dizzy: it's....mildly concerning the doctors aren't doing more about this. Like...what's causing the low iron? It sounds super frustrating, but also I'd ask more questions. push them to actually do their jobs, you know?

friend w cancer: I can't say much to this other than that sounds so overwhelming and I'm sending hugs <3

coming out: I mean if you don't want to do a whole coming out thing, could you just say 'btw, I'm dating x' and leave it at that? And if they ask about sexuality/labels say you don't want to talk about it? That way they're aware, but it's more of a casual thing. Or do they know about your boyfriend?

Your positives made me smile!

<3

--

thumbs down anon

I've been a lesbian for the past five-ish years and since I figured it all out I've been really secure. But recently there's been this one guy and I've just been really confused. I've questioned my sexuality a few times but always in a passing conforming to the expectations of my extended family kind of way and just the thought of daring a man would make me feel off. But that's not really the case here and I'm just lost I guess. I'm not really too invested in labeling or figuring out this new thing anytime soon because quite frankly, I'm not sure I like him back. I feel like I do but I struggle sometimes to tell platonic and romantic feelings apart. And beyond that, I am terrified of commitment. Ans unfortunately I don't know him too well. I've known him technically for four years but not until the last week did we talk. I did tall to him about it but I really don't know how to process any of this. One one hand I feel like I'm betraying myself (for sure due to my fear of change) but at the same time I know I'm not. All in all, feelings are weird and I'm not a fan👎

Hi!

I, too, am not a fan of feelings lol

I mean if he's aware of your conflicting feelings and he's chill with it and you're also comfortable, maybe you could just...explore your feelings? Hang out with him and see what happens naturally? It's okay to explore feelings without knowing exactly what will happen, as long as everyone's comfortable and no boundaries are broken. It's also okay to not tell people until you're ready. It's also okay do decide you don't want to explore this! Honestly, whatever feels right to you (again, as long as everyone's comfortable and boundaries aren't broken).

__

the anon

heyyy, it’s the anon!! Been awhile since I popped in, nuh? (Like nearly 6 weeks, damn)

Anygays- I’ve got words to speak and such (obvi, why else would I be here?)

So, I’ve been doing better at setting up boundaries with my partner. It’s been a slow struggle, but I have begun doing so.

There is one caveat to all this

Let me preface this by saying I’m in a special program for school (Idk if I’ve menti9ned it before, but yeah. Special program)

My partner has been missing so much school that they’re transferring to online instead of in person. Sad part? I feel way more comfortable at that thought. I kinda feel like a horrible partner because of how I feel about it. And it’s not even cuz I know it’ll help them, it’s because I know that I don’t have to put on as much of a mask during school.

I don’t get it, I don’t really know what to think.

Ignoring the negative/advice seeking part of my ask, I do have good news!! I made a friend à few months back, but just started talking to him more frequently. And guess what?? I managed to get him into Marauders. He literally stayed up all night to learn all about it.

So far his fav marauder is Remus, kin is regulus, and overall his fav ship is wolfstar

(I also got a very ‘angry’ text from him saying “WHY DIDNT YOU TELL MY BARTY’S NAME WAS BARTHOLOMEW” obvi, Barty’s name isn’t bartholomew its Bartemus or however the hell you spell it. But it was funny)

Hi!

I don't think you should feel guilty for your feelings. Sometimes spaces is what people need to sort their feelings out, you know? I'm glad you're working on boundaries, it a difficult thing! Remember that your partner's reaction to your boundaries is also a key sign.

Omg Barty's name being Bartolomeu would be awful.

___

grounded anon

hi! I answered your ask right here :) God, what your mom said is so messed up and disgusting though, that's infuriating. I hope you know how wrong she is.

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functioning anon

hi cas. do you have any advice on how to start actually living, like being a functioning human being, instead of letting your mind float through brainrot and just generally hating existance?

idk if you'll get it but i'm just feeling very dead rn.

I totally get this. For me, making to do lists of little things I need to do to take care of myself (brush teeth, take a shower, eat) and then crossing them off is super motivating and helps me get out of bed on those days. Maybe that could help?

[my-castles-crumbling]

Anon Advice Asks - July 29th

nyx anon, pg anon (x2), odd grief anon (new), desperate need anon (new)

nyx anon

hi its the nyx anon!! Its been a hot sec lmao

nothings wrong im just ranting about my special interest bc im MAD AS HELL

BASICALLY

i had a favourite character lets call him Baby (bc he was just a baby ☹️) and he was so innocent and i loved him so much anD THEN HE TURNED OUT TO BE PART OF A MURDER CANNIBALISM SERIAL KILLER CULT AND WENT TO A PSYCHIATRIC FACILITY AND ISNT IN THE REMAINING E I G H T SEASONS

bht fine okay i get a nrw favourite character

guess what happens to him.

take a wild giess.

HE GETS SHOT AND DIES IN HIS MENTORS ARMS AS HE BEGS HER NOT TO MAKE HIM GO BECAYSE HE LOVES IT HETE AND HE DOESNT WANT TO GO

I HATE. EVERYTHING

I CANT EVEN RAGE QUIT. BC. IF I DONT WATCH AN EPISODE A DAY. I WILL DIE.

hahahah I'm so sorry but this is so relatable. I hope you find another new favorite character that gets a lovely 8 seasons!

___

PG anon

Ask 1:

Your ex-

I'm so sorry, that sounds so difficult </3 I guess the thing I have to ask is, is it worth the pain of staying close to your ex when you still have those feelings? I know you have platonic feelings too, but it must hirt so much to have to deal with the romantic ones...do you think it might be worth it to completely step back, even from the platonic aspects, in order to give yourself a break from the heartbreak?

Cancer- I'm so glad things are good!

Solo- I'm glad it went well at least!

Friends- that's....so hurtful, I'm sorry </3 Do you maybe have one friend that you're closer to than the others that you could be brutally honest with about all this? Like be like "you guys are leaving me out and it's awful"? because it's so shitty of them to act like this, you know? Either theyre doing this on purpose, which in that case like...you should know so you can say 'fuck you' and move on, or they're forgetting you, and if they are, they need to be called out.

School- congratulations on being able to go to the school you wanted! work during the summer though, that's awful </3 I definitely understand why you feel extra burnt out. You say 'we'. Are others in these classes, too? COuld you maybe do the work together with some other people, that way you aren't doing it all alone?

Health- OMG as I was reading I was thinking pots! You should ask your doctor to evaluate you for it and if they say no, ask for it to be noted in your chart- when you ask for things to be written down, doctors are MUCH more likely to do something about what you ask. I hope they find the answers soon!

I love your positives! I'm jealous of the brownies!

Ask 2:

Wait so...your friends added you to a GC and then removed you and then basically uninvited you from something???That's so rude!! I'm NOT liking these friends...

As far as your other friends getting together...yeah, I understand how that can be bittersweet. Like you're happy for them, but also a bit sad and jealous.

As far as the fest, I'm sure you're doing amazing! After it gest posted, if you want me to send a link to read it, you totally should! I'd love to read it! Remember, you're your own worst critic, and fanfic is just for fun <3

Sending you love!

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odd grief anon (tw- death)

grief is odd, my grandfather died three years ago and i was never close to him while he was alive, he wasn’t even my biological grandfather, and i went to his funeral and barley cried. after that i didn’t really think of him for a long while but sometimes ill check the weather where he was buried and if its sunny smile and think about how he must be enjoying the sun. i’ll randomly think of him and start crying, or just feel alone.

but again, i wasn’t really close to him, and this didn’t happen at all in the beginning

i don’t know i think my feelings are just very confusing and i get why i would be sad about his death even if i didnt know him that well but it’s just odd

You're right, grief IS odd. I had a cousin who died of an OD and I wasn't close at him at all, but his death affected me SO much. It's been almost 20 years since he died and I still think about him all the time.

But, death is strange, and there's no 'normal' way to grieve. I don't think you need to feel odd about the way you're grieving, and it's okay to feel the way you feel. If you ever want to talk about your grandfather- whether it's about how you're feeling or just to tell me stories about him, I'm here to listen!

___

desperate need anon - tw: abuse

uh you do anon advice right? im in desperate need of some. idek how to do this and its really long sorry

(redacted)

Hi!

So here's the thing.

Normally when he have friends, we say that it's really important to keep their secrets, right?

Well, this situation is an exception to that rule.

I don't want to scare you, but the situation you're describing is an actual life-or-death dangerous situation. Whether or not your friend has gotten seriously injured YET is irrelevant, because situations like this often escalate.

I know you want to keep your friend's loyalty and normally, that's so important, but right now, safety trumps loyalty.

You ABSOLUTELY need to tell a trusted adult. IMMEDIATELY.

It could be a parent, family member, teacher, doctor, coach, police officer, anyone you trust to take this seriously. But you have to tell someone.

And I'm going to be so honest with you- if your friend finds out you told, she might get mad. She might scream and shout and even choose not to be friends with you anymore. But sadly, you need to understand that it's MUCH better for her to not be friends with you anymore and for her to be ALIVE, than for her to be dead/seriously injured and to still be friends with you.

And I know you're a kid and you shouldn't have to worry about that, but that's the truth. So please tell someone. I promise you, it's the right thing to do <3

And I'm so sorry you have to go through this <3 I'm sending you love!

[my-castles-crumbling]

Anon Advice Asks - June 25

@teasiswriter (x2), pg anon (x3), had to get it out anon (new), brag anon (new), depressive episode anon (new)

@teasiswriter

Welp, tomorrow marks the day I asked to start working in the applications for the jobs I applied to, and none got back to me.

I am officially unemployed for the summer

And I saw a dead rabbit today, so I guess that’s a worse omen :/

Sorry for being a Debbie-downer, thank you for reading

__

CAS I GOT AN EMAIL BACK

andddd then my parents told me that this specific store is one they have “reservations” about and aren’t fully sure if they want me to work there,

Uhm, yeah. I’m sad about that too, but I’m proud of myself at least? I tried and tried and at least someone reached out? Even if I have to say no

Agh I’m sorry for putting this on you

Feel free to ignore this and my previous ask.

You’re a rockstar, goodbye

Hi!

I'm so glad you got an email back! Honestly if you haven't said no yet, you should go for the interview, even if it's just for the experience of doing an interview.

I hope you keep getting more emails and good news, keep me updated!!!

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pg anon

Hi! Okay so as far as your (ex)bf- I'm glad things ended up working out okay. But a mutual breakup is still hard, so remember to take care of yourself. Also keeping all of that to yourself is HARD, and talking about it is important. Can you talk about it with him at least a little?

Also as far as coming out- please do it in your own time. Whether or not you have supportive people, that needs to be something you're comfortable with. Don't push yourself <3

I'm glad your friends with cancer are doing well!

C - ugh I'm sorry his parents didn't react well. I've probably already asked this but what about school? Is there anyone at school who might be helpful. I really hate that this feels like it's all on you, you know? Even if you just rant to a teacher without telling them names...bc you're right, you deserve to be able to rely on people!

School - yeah I understand. Most education systems SUCK and it's an awful, claustrophobic feeling knowing it's almost impossible to change. I'm sorry that's happening to you right now <3

Films - that sounds so frustrating for you! I'm glad you have people around you that understand your boundary though <3 What about them gives you nightmares? Like could you maybe start with some really tame, g-rated movies and see if those feel safe, then work your way up? Just a suggestion, if you want to keep that boundary PLEASE don't feel obligated to push yourself.

anon names- oooo that's a good question. I think either option (telling them or just skipping) is good, depending on what feels best for both of you. I love that you're kind enough to think of their feelings like that though.

Your positives made me smile, I'm glad you had a good time at prom!

<3

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had to get it out anon

he is just a man. how could he why would he. i trusted him. oh my god. i hate him. you know you hurt me and you didnt even say sorry. i was there for you when you were crying every night till 2 even though i cant stay up past midnight. i kissed you. you made me hate that too. god. why. this is the first time i cried because of you. my tears hold so many memories.

had to get it out

Hi hon <3 I'm so sorry about whatever happened, and whoever he is, he's an asshole. If you ever want to talk about it my inbox is open!

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brag anon

cas have you ever done really well on something but didn’t want to tell your friends because it felt like bragging? that’s how I feel right now 😭 my old school offers an alumni scholarship for college students but they forgot to announce it this year. i remembered around the usual time and called, and they sent me the application directly. they always split the money based on how many apply, and i think barely anyone did because i got triple what i got last year. im really excited because i really needed the money, but I’m not telling anyone else so this is me getting it off my chest. i just don’t want to brag 😭

Hi!

well I don't think this is bragging! I think this is just you celebrating an awesome win! Congratulations, this is amazing!

I think you have every right to tell your friends, by the way! I think it just matters HOW you tell them. Just be like "By the way, I got a scholarship, I'm so excited!" rather than being like "Omg guys I got sooooooo much money, so much more than YOU, sucks for you bitches!"

But you deserve to be happy about this, it's great!

---

depressive episode anon

(Hi im a different anon but i sorta don’t want to mention this as my anon name I’m sorry)

I think I’m having a depressive episode and I’m not sure what to do, I’m disassociating and everything, even just the thought of going to bed is making me feel anxious

I feel so weird and lonely and terrified and my head feels like it’s fighting itself. I have nobody to tell

I’m not sure what to do

Hi <3

I think the first thing to do is talk to someone if you can. But since you said you don't feel comfortable telling anyone...

Take care of yourself. Prioritize the little things. Brush your teeth, wipe off your face, do things that make you feel safe like curling up in a cozy blanket. Drink water, and eat every once in a while.

And then think about who to talk to. Depression is the WORST, and you need support. Who can you reach out to? Who feels safe to you?

My inbox is always open as well <3

[my-castles-crumbling]

Anon Advice Asks - June 8

unnecessary crush anon, qualms anon (new), @teasiswriter , grounded anon, pg anon

unnecessary crush anon

unnecessary crush anon (although this is nothing related to crushes)

umm...

so recently, i took a type of 'career counseling' because im lost in life.

and i consider myself to be good in english and - even though im fucking drowning in the crossroads of the path of my future, i still considered myself to be taking something related to english - preferably journalism or smt

but this GUY just said 'with the rise of ai, english is no longer a subject, ai will remove all use of people writing creativley, there is no scope of english writing creativily, yada yada yada

and worse - this GUY just suggested i go towards corporate (which i HATE)

now, to be fair, he also said that if i choose a few things or the other, i still will be able to do journalism or whatever, but still, CORPORATE? HELL NAH

idk, im just fuming as to how this GUY just destroyed like the one thing im absolutely sure im good at.

like

with all he's going with 'your academics' 'your extracurriculars' its really not that impressive, considering that i had little to no hand in my wins, and even if i did, the wins were little

idk

ive just...

Hi!

That's like...infuriating. Especially since like...AI can't be creative. That's the whole point.

Honestly, I'm not a career counselor and idk what country you live in so idk how much my advice could help but I think if you want to go into a field that involves writing (like journalism, etc) then the best thing to do is to YES still go for that field, but also minor in something that can get you a job right away. Sometimes things like being a journalist involve both time and luck, so having something to do while you work towards your goal is a good idea. So like major in journalism, but minor in editing or something. That way you can get an editing job while you work towards becoming a journalist after school.

But don't give up on your dreams! I believe in you!

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qualms anon

hey Cas

i really don’t know how to explain this situation without sounding like a horrible person, but i think i need to break up with my partner. i don’t know how to because i genuinely do love him a lot, it’s just. for whatever reason I don’t see it lasting. it might js be my attachment style or my trauma promoting me to run away, or maybe i don’t actually like men because he’s really the only man i’ve ever had a crush on. i’m js so confused and it feels like im leading him on and he is so so perfect and he deserves someone who isn’t having constant qualms about whether or not we should even be together

Hi!

I don't think you're a horrible person at all for this. You can't control your feelings! I think you have two healthy options here: either talk with your partner about how you're feeling and still try to make it work if that's what you both want, or talk with your partner about how you're feeling, and break up. But hiding your feelings is the only thing that WOULD be bad, because its not being honest and will result in more hurt in the long run.

A good relationship requires communication, even when it's scary <3

Keep me updated!

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@teasiswriter

Hi Cas

I’m sorry for another downer of an ask but

I’m really really disappointed in myself. I just want to be employed so badly and I just feel like I’m not good enough

I applied to so many places, and I’ve looked through like 70 jobs and almost all them say I’m too young. Is it my fault? There are jobs that I simply didn’t want because they went against who I am and what I could tolerate doing as a job (like being a member of a teenage “TikTok hype house” or an organization my mom suggested where people learn about their blackness, and I didn’t want to because the way my parents force their ideas of blackness usually clashes with me as a person (how, it’s funny and normal for black kids to be yelled at and dismissed by their parents, or how everything but nothing is about race all the time) but now I feel guilty for saying no.

Why are ten different places refusing to tell me yes or no? Why are some jobs insistent on making the requirement be so high when the very fact they can work with any minors means they can lower it to my age?

And it’s the only thing my grandparents and parents talk about. It’s not fair. Why won’t anyone give me a straight answer? I can do what’s required, really I can! I can be a good worker and balance everything, so why is everyone making it so difficult?

(redacted)

Please I just want someone to hire me, so I can be out of the house and be myself.

I hate everything and I want to cry

I’m really sorry

Hi!

I promise, it's NOT you. The job market is AWFUL.

I think I remember you saying this is your first job, right? Have you tried looking into the more...I don't want to say boring, but..boring jobs? Fast food restaurants, gas stations, grocery stores, clothing stores, things like that? I know those aren't the ideal, but sometimes doing those things will help you get the experience other, better, places are looking for.

I'm so sorry this is weighing so heavily on you <3 Like I said, it's NOT you. It sucks that the world is like this. I promise, you WILL find something. Oh also! Ask your school and your local library! Sometimes places who need people to work will tell schools and libraries to look out for kids who want jobs.

Good luck! <3

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grounded anon

Hello

It is me once more

So basically, my step uncle died

The thing is, I didn't know him.

Never met him or heard him.or called him or was told about his personality

Never even saw a picture

So when my mom told me the news I stayed silent for a bit. before saying "im sorry, that's horrible"

She then called me selfish, saying I only cared about me

She said my dad told her I apparently don't give a shit about her

She said other stuff but its not important

The only thing keeping me from doing something drastic is my bsf. You know the one. We've been texting over Tumblr dms.

No, to answer your question, I do not habe any trusted adults. The only adults I have think im selfish and a liar and a manipulator.

I had to miss my one guaranteed chance of seeing my friend at art camp because of this

Also the religious camp isn't s conformimg one

I've went before, so I know what to expect

Im so tired of being at this stupid house

(redacted)

-grounded anon

Wow, okay. I feel like I would have reacted the same way you did. Like what else can you say? It's not like you threw a party lol.

You clearly are not selfish. I'm sorry your parents are saying that. It's like...there's not any perfect way to respond to death but I feel like you did a good job, especially since you're just a kid!

I'm glad you have a supportive friend, at least. That's so important <3 Whether or not you see them, you know they're there, which MATTERS.

I'm sending you so much love!

___

pg anon

C - please remember that you're not responsible for anyone's life. if you aren't able to respond (because you're asleep or you just mentally can't) that's NOT on you. You're also well within your rights to call an adult or the police if someone is telling you these things. it's a safety issue, you know?

Schools - I forget if I've asked this but does your school have guidance counselors? It's like...their job to help you figure out this stuff, so you should make them do their job. Ask them questions about the schools you want to go to and what you need to do, you know?

identity- it's OKAY to struggle with this stuff, especially when you're young. I think, like you said, you just have to decide what to do about it. like you have a bf, does your struggles affect your relationship? if not, then take your time figuring it out! you have your whole life to figure that stuff out, you know? You don't owe anyone, not even yourself, a label.

online friends- is there a way to like...stay out of it? still be friends with both people? it sounds like you're not directly involved so if I were you id stay out of it as much as possible. be friends with the people YOU like and relate to, and fuck everyone else's opinions, you know? I know its easier said than done, but in the long run, it's worth it.

friendship in general- I'm so sorry </3 I wish I could say more to make you feel better but I hope you know I'm here for you to vent any time. Also, happy belated birthday <3 the blender sounds cool!

sending love!

[my-castles-crumbling]

Anon Advice asks - April 25

@teasiswriter, 14 anon, legs anon (new), pg anon, midnights anon, deadname anon (new), willpower anon

@teasiswriter

Hello! (This is a long one! It’s mostly about my hyper fixation. I got carried away with historical accuracy so 60% of it is about Sappho, sorry 😅)

How have you been?

Also I have a quick question, what should I do when I’m not feeling well? Emotionally I mean. Sometimes I just feel super empty and guilty (like after resting or doing nothing) and I cognitively try not to bully myself (I remember how exhausted I was, how tiring things are, and how I shouldn’t bully myself for existing) but sometimes the fog won’t lift, and I just feel kind of muddled

I’m gonna try and do some stuff that makes it feel better (painting, tea, daydreaming, etc.) but sometimes that doesn’t work

Also, I went outside yesterday which I feel like is an accomplishment! I went to the library, sat down, and read for an hour. I think I’m gonna do that more often (also my library has a job opening that I can apply for which rocks). Next time I’m gonna bring my books about my book I’m writing (Sappho (3 different books with different translations), and another about Monet (that’s for a different book).

Hi!

I mean I think you have all the right ideas- don't bully yourself, do soothing things...could you do something to try to sort through your feelings? Writing often helps me when I'm in a foggy state like that. And by writing, I don't mean anything that gets published on ao3, I mean just writing for myself.

And yes, you're welcome to send me a link!

As far as your other ask...

You aren't incorrect or fucked or wrong, but I understand (not all, but) a lot of what you're feeling-- feeling different and like you don't fit in and like you can't do things right, and being jealous of people who seem to do life so effortlessly. Do you have any adult you can go to, to ask for help? You don't deserve to feel like this. You deserve to be happy and feel loved, you know?

You're welcome to come vent to me anytime, as well <3 I know things feel awful and overwhelming and hopeless now, but please know that college and the real world are so different than school. school sucks, a thousand percent, but it DOES get better, I promise <3

___

14 anon

Hey Cas it’s 14 anon

I really want to tell my mum I’m part of this fandom because it’s one of the only things keeping me from feeling like a robot.

The thing is, if I tell her about the fandom I have to tell her about the ships and the fanfiction. I’m like a diehard jegulus shipper, and my mum isn’t the most lgbt+ friendly person. She supports it but has some strong opinions and I don’t know what she’d say - especially because I can’t remember all of the things she’s said about lgbt+ people.

I’m struggling to keep fandom related things to myself because of how much it means to me and I only have one friend I talk to about it and she’s always grounded and when she’s not (like 2 weeks a year) she has very minimal screen time. Also summer holidays are soon and I won’t see her for 6 weeks and I’m sad about that bc she’s my realest friend and I love her so much.

Hi!

I mean, could you like...hint at it first, and see how she reacts? Like mention the Harry Potter fandom in general, or reading fanfic in general, and see what she says? That way you're not like...completely throwing the whole thing out there and risking a negative reaction, but you're also gauging to see if she might take it positively?

I'm sorry your friend is always grounded </3

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legs anon

Is it legal to punch your sister after we were doing this thing where she held onto my legs ands I moved them forward and she fell back then we did it vice versa but it didn’t work so we did it the first way and it worked so we tried it vice versa again but it didn’t work so I say that the problem was he large legs she gets upset I keep saying “I was just pointing out what was wrong” then she says “oh so you’re saying my legs are wrong” and I’m like stop twisting my words and also she gave me rope burn on my thighs(I’m very easy to injure) but I don’t see what I did wrong here. I do not understand why she took it in that way, I regulus and Narcissa kinned too close to the sun and drowned(Regukus core)

I'm gonna be so fr, I only followed about half of this....but I mean...nobody should be punching anyone?

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PG anon

Please keep reminding me to not post your ask, just so I remember!

I understand struggling with being able to talk to those closest to you, but remember that those closest to you WANT to help. <3

Glasses: Do you live in a place where you could order a backup pair online? That way you have them, just in case the others break?

Fainting: This sounds...awful. Can you ask the doctors to look for an alternative medication? Also maybe ask for a doctor's note that allows you to take breaks in school if you need to? I know that doesn't solve the problem but maybe it'll help with some of the anxiety...

C: That's so scary, and I'm so glad someone told adults. Unfortunately, depression is SO prevalent right now, especially in teens. And that fear is so upsetting...Do yo think you can talk to any adults about this? I know it's hard to make yourself talk about it, but you can't keep all this bottled up! It's so much to handle, especially when you're young. I'm glad you're at least talking to me :)

Yay, I'm glad you're sending me positives, too!

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Midnights anon

Hi!

PLEASE don't be sorry, you absolutely didn't sound mean or bitter. You're allowed to have these feelings. You're allowed to want someone who cares about YOU and loves you unconditionally! That doesn't make you a bad person, that makes you human! Please continue to rant in my inbox, I don't mind.

As far as college... honestly, as someone who has been through deciding on a college, my advice is to lost out the pros and cons of the university you're talking about. Try to take the emotional piece out by listing the facts. And then list out the pros and cons of a different school. Don't just say 'fuck it' and rebel, but don't blindly follow your parents' wishes, either. Make an informed decision.

Sending love!

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deadname anon

I have a really good, relatively new friend, and I think I might have stumbled across their deadname, and im not sure what to do. I'm not sure if i should tell this person or not, I don't plan on doing anything with the information I didn't really want to know in the first place because that feels wrong

Hi!

Okay so I think it depends on how you found their deadname. If you found it in a place that they can't do anything about- like you accidentally saw it on a legal form or something- then no, don't say anything. That's not their name anymore and what good does telling them do?

BUT if you saw it in a place where something can be done- someone posted it on social media, for example- then yes, tell them. Because it may be that they'll want to try to get it removed. (Or not- it's different from person to person)

This is just my opinion, of course, but yeah. I think it depends on if anything can be done to prevent more people from learning their deadname in the future. Either way, of course, don't share what you know with anyone.

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willpower anon

Hi! <3

very gently, this IS a real problem. It's not too early to tell someone at all. Because the longer you wait, the more damage you're doing to yourself that could be irreversible.

I think the first step is to tell whatever adult you trust them most. It doesn't have to be a parent, it can be ANY adult that you feel is trustworthy and smart. I know saying something is terrifying, but please know that you're already in dangerous territory here.

Also remember that saying something is just SAYING something. You're not changing any habits (yet). Take things one step at a time, and say something first.

Also also...the fact that you don't want to stop? That kind of proves it's a problem.

Sending love <3