Me - Doctor i m forgetting things.
Doctor - its your anxiety and depression that causes you to forget things.
Me - Noooo. its my forgetfulness that causing me to be anxious and depressed.
Doctor - and that anxiety and depression making you more forgetful. Its a vicious cycle. or like an egg or chicken problem.
Me- but I know my inner feelings what going there and its clear to me its not an egg chicken problem but i know which one is the first one. I am getting forgetful and I want that to be treated.
Doctor - NO and shut up you cannot say. You are not a qualified professional.
Me - But my anxiety and depression is normal, rational and justified.
Doctor (Babbles) - how ridiculous, the patient claims the anxiety and depression as normal.
Me - is it wrong to get treated for my forgetfulness.
Doctor - No it isnt wrong, you did correct thing by seeking help. But your forgetful will be cured soon. You just need to relax a bit, meditate, prayer, socialise, party, mix with opposite gender a bit more, cook, invite, sports, buy groceries, help parents and neighbours, go to relatives house, purchase food and gifts, invite people, go to a community club, do leisure activities, do hang out with friends, skip classes and commitments, do a lot of funs, blah blah and blah.
My forgetful brain and poor executive function skills- (shuts down of anxiety imagining how severely draining the aforesaid activities)
Doctor - You are perfectly alright dear brave young chaff. However dont let your paranoid thoughts defeat you. You will be perfectly alright after administrating these candies (hands over some sweetmeets and gifts), (smiles, laughs.). I have prescribed a few pills which you have to administer for few years. Do not quit this medications without my supervision. Collect the pills from the counter. Must visit 1 month later.
Counter- gives some white pills, no labels or stickers. No expiry date mentions. No drug indormation. just numbered as 1, 2, 3 etc.
Me- goes home. deciphers scribbly prescriptions. searches internet.
Internet - Drug XYZ is an atypical antipsychotic, used to treat delusional disorders. also commonly used to induce calmness. Dont administer if you have memory problems.
Drug UVW is a typical or classic antipsychotic, reported that it can advance any symptoms of dementia and can advance alzheimers disease. Do not administer if predisposed to cognitive or neurodegenerative issues.
Drug RST is an anxyolyte but also sometimes used as a sleep inducing medication. Common side effect includes headache, dizziness, difficulty to concentrate, slow speed, slurred speech, nausea etc. Do not drive any cars if u are on dosage of it.
Second doctor - Omg the previous doctor is a distinguishingly respected professor and dean of the department of psychiatry of college of medicine of ABRACADABRA and (s)he do so many social activities highlighted in TV, newspaper, research articles. When we stuck with critical cases we all go to take her/his opinion and (s)he is so well on hypothesising analyses from case studies. And yes the solutions work, the patients really stops complaining anything anymore!!! how you dare to question her/his methodologies? I would rather say the same things. Please follow your previous doctors precious advise and never argue. Trust your doctor and blindly obey what they says. They are extremely experienced, talented and qualified professionals and you are not any medical professional so you must listen and listen.
