#not ab6ix

[reonjun]

i love you so bad

[adorex1]

☁️200306☁️

i want you, to be my greatest weakness.

i want to be fearful of a world without you in it, but also strong enough to be worth sharing it with you. i want to love catastrophically, feel the pain and sadness that goes hand in hand with every great love story, and every bright radiant ray of happiness. i want to be understood and seen, but not just by anyone, by you. i want someone to make the darkness seem not so scary on the bad days, and someone who makes the bright days brighter.

i want it to be you. i do. sincerely.

but i’m scared. i’m scared if it’s you. i’m scared of loving dangerously, scared of all the things i want and feel and hope and dream for. i’m scared that today may be my last day, or that one day i won’t wake up from the darkness of my slumber and succumb to whatever darker ideas reside inside me.

so it can’t be you. it has to be me.

but me, it’s a lonely concept. it’s a solitary shadow against the sidewalk as i walk back during twilight. but that single shadow is not worth anyone’s time or love, it’s just a shadow, it isn’t a person, much less human much less anything but a trick of the light. but even then the light cruelly shines everywhere but within it, for a shadow is the antithesis of the light.

i wanted you, to be my greatest weakness.

but i see now that i myself, was only ever my own greatest weakness in the end.

[boysfile]

the way i just realized.. cix can mean c9 as well.. bc roman numeral.. ix is nine.. istg if this was discovered 50yrs ago imma bury myself in a hole

[daehyunhwi]

Jess wjjxnd i finally watched Woong's Moondance video. I waited way too long. But even with months to prepare for it, i was NOT READY SJNS

HEY KRYSTAL !!!! SAANCFJSA AND AHHH OMG WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ?! 😳😳😳 to be honest i was not ready at all, and i still don’t believe he actually did that efjsdujv HE,,, CLEANS THE FLOOR A LOT,,, WITH,,, HIS BODY,,,,,,, how are you feeling ? :3

[daehyunhwi]

oldmin?? i'm...i'm *clutches back of neck because blood pressure*

“rip i forgot to sign but its me nyoungmins 😭 u guys rlly gonna do him like that oof”

JFJDD IS IT TOO MEAN T-T ? we can change it dkfjkd LOL we came up with it a while ago cuz “young”-min, opposite of young is... you know 🤣 ,,, and the others are always teasing him for his age :,)) but we didn’t use it cuz tkdjfjd it’s a bit too mean HAHA anyway we still don’t have meme-y semi-original tags for all the members so ... work in progress ( @nyoungmins )

[daehyunhwi]

also i saw ur tags on my dumb youngmin teaser gifset u are too nice and :''') 💞💕 and the mv. is like. such despair. so angst. skdfjfj wow he's so hot im just glad he didn't incorporate the blindfold part lol maybe that was just his little kindness to us so abnews don't completely die dfja;ldkfflkd -nyoungmins

IT WASN’T DUMB AT ALL I THOUGHT IT WAS SO PRETTY T-T dfvgb the MV OH MY GOD EFSDFFVBH HE REALLY IS FULL ON ANGSTY I LOVE HIM,,,, you’re absolutely right the blindfold part would have ended us all i’m CRYING MALI ( @nyoungmins )

[daehyunhwi]

Oh no bb why are u sad 💕💞💖💓💗💖💘

aww anon T-T mmm i’m not too sure honestly,,, i sometimes just feel sad and there’s not really a good reason,,, haha,,, might just be a bit stressed about school and everything that’s been going on lately, but i’m ok ! thank you for asking honestly… i shouldn’t have made a post about it lol but i really do want to gif a bunch of things today :))

[adorex1]

☁️200224☁️

a/n: this series of text posts will be more like a personal journal of sorts ! for me to vent and write about how i’m feeling,,, it’ll be tagged as ‘not x1′ and ‘not ab6ix’ so blacklist those tags if you don’t want to hear some of my personal writings ! and some might be a bit depressing so i’ll tag that as a warning as well

“today, i am floating” that’s what she tells me and i consider it,,, yes i am floating,,, but it’s a bit more than that,,, i feel like i’m standing on a plank of wood adrift at sea, and not realizing how dire my situation is.  i feel that sometimes, because my head is above the water that i’m fine, and happy, and living the best that i can... but sometimes the plank flips on me... sometimes the plank shatters into a billion pieces right from under me, and try as i may i can’t grasp at any of the pieces, i can’t grasp anything... to keep me afloat

how foolish was i to think that a weak and flimsy piece of wood could keep me dry and alive... it had me convinced it could at some point, but that plank of wood was never a boat, it was never something stable and sturdy... as i sink deeper into the depths of this endless sea, waves crashing above my head, suffocating me, preventing me from reaching air, it pushes me further below... and i just let it, what’s the point of fighting,,, i feel helpless and somehow resolved at the same time

before magically another small piece of wood drifts up from below, floating, carrying me with it back to the surface, back to the light, back to the air, to the sun, to the breeze

and as i cling to this new piece of wood, i let it convince me all over again, like a fool, that this time it can support my weight until we reach land... i let it convince me that this time i can really stand on it without it shattering beneath me, that it can withstand any storm and carry me forever... and i become convinced, reassured even and i trust it...

until it too, breaks into pieces and i sink again, doomed to repeat this cursed cycle