The internal turmoil of a support main
Every time I play Overwatch as a tank or support I am painfully reminded of how my mind works. I am taking on a role meant to protect other players and must think of the team before the individual. But I can't. I want to be there for EVERYONE. This leads me to being there for no one. I strive to heal every player, even the idiots who get themselves into situations they can't escape. I'm guilty of that as well but never expect a healer to risk their lives for me. I get most flustered as Ana. For some reason when I am her I get extremely upset at the enemy team for "picking on" my team. The more people I lose the more cool I lose until no one can rely on me. I think about each individual rather than what is best for the team. Losing a player sometimes is necessary to keep the support alive to allow the other members to stay in and push. But I just can't think that way. I risk my life doing stupid things because I need to be there. If I'm not there I'm not doing my job. It's a stupid though process but it's one I can't escape. I go to someone who was begging for heals way off from the group, leaving those expecting me at their side to suffer. I want to be there for everyone but realistically I can't. So please don't ask for healing when you are in the middle of the enemy team or so far away you could grab a health pack. A healer cannot always be there. But you know what.... healers like me are going to try anyways.
Also Ashe I don't know why but I always seem to adopt you and try to keep you safe and this is an unhealthy relationship. 😅
Also to everyone who has ever realised my aim as Ana is trash and stands still for me thank you from the bottom of my old heart. I know it's embarrassing.