#not forcing your deviae

[isuggestforcedeviaesis]

i didn't know there was a term for this! thank you!

over on my nonhuman blog (@woof-wolf-mcwolfenson) i talked about some of my body modding goals to be more in line with how i see myself (to be honest- i need to update it LOL)

i mainly am on anon bc sometimes my asks break and get sent into my own inbox on my main +-+ darn tumbl...

keke i was originally an androgyny blog but i was like, my androgyny is tied to my beasthood and my status as deviae. i was born deviae, my body was born "deformed", my body would be made a spectcle of, people would focus on it instead of my personality if i lived life with visible polydactyly. so i really wanted a blog where the want or the intense lust for bodies that are considered deformed or otherwise undesireable(physically altered or "wrong")/unrealistic(nonhuman, robotic)is mportant to me.

deviae isnt just nonhuman transitioning - thats beasthood. deviae is the alteration of the body that is seen as an anomoly or as nonhuman - from birth or by choice. it may cover it but not everyone is nonhuman if they are deviae. i was born "defected" and in that, i now choose to embrace my extra finger, wanting dewclaw implants.

[isuggestforcedeviaesis]

is it possible to be an invertebrates and a beast? what's the difference between transspecies and beasthood? i am an insect/bug pursuing transition, but i understand that there's no feasible way to completely become theriform at this time. i want to still partially participate in society, but be understood as myself.

sorry for the strange questions, but i appreciate your response. =:]

is it possible to be an invertebrate and a beast?

yes.

what's the difference between transspecies and beasthood?

Terminology, really. I say so here:

A Beast’s Revolt is Long Overdue

What becomes of us hinges on how we treat the beasts of our world.

"Beasts can use any term for themselves. Some beasts are transspecies, some are otherkin/therians, some are deviae, some are pshifters, some are transhuman, and some are xenogendered. All can exist together or separately. But the beasthood of it requires transcending human bodies and their expectations of appearance, behavior, and physiology."

i am an insect/bug pursuing transition, but i understand that there's no feasible way to completely become theriform at this time. i want to still partially participate in society, but be understood as myself.

"No feasible way" already means you really, really don't want to actually become one. It already says to me that you genuinely are giving up due to the singular roadblock. It means you have aligned both physical and mental state to reject the act of even trying. No shade, no hate, but if you're already giving up - why even ask?

I'll give you some advice, please, please, please, at least try. Try DIY. Try making your own guides. Try building your own work. Try doing it yourself by modifying your tools, looking through fandom spaces, putting in the effort to change yourself effectively through ways that matter to you. No one else besides you can tell you that you are doing it wrong or right. HRT or not, these changes should only matter for your comfort.

The point of being a beast is not about becoming theriform. It is about becoming a beast. Two separate categories completely. Read the article I linked and do some more research into what you really want, then only would it make sense to fully commit to this. Baby steps, please.

[isuggestforcedeviaesis]

had a transmasc ex who gaslighted me multiple times in our year-long relationship over the fact that i was attracted to my headmate and him at the same time, getting me to stop my communication with said headmate, and when he agreed to get into a polyamorous relationship with the two of us, he crashed out months later and told me that the only person who would ever love me was my headmate.

no wonder im excited to be in another relationship with a man who respects me and my headmate's experiences and doesn't tell me that he feels "worthless" and that i should "stop talking to it."

[isuggestforcedeviaesis]

he who tames the literally divine with bomb sex: i have got to replay god of war

[isuggestforcedeviaesis]

thank you for responding to my ask. i thought id seen you respond to someone else saying beasts are attempting to become theriform, and i must have gotten a wire or two crossed in my brain. i appreciate you speaking so bluntly about my wording as well, it helped me to sort through some things. and you're right, i *had* guven up before id started. it's such a small thing, but giving myself permission to try anyway feels leagues better already.

again, thank you very much. =:]

mhm! i usually try to put in a bit more of a realistic viewpoint when it comes to this stuff bc it means a lot to me that people get the right info and exist as themselves in these times. There are so many beasts I see online that love their lives, I wouldn't sugarcoat it and say theyre just as valid if they don't try - I can't reduce their experiences down to just putting on gear or going on HRT. They try everyday, fight to live as themselves everyday. Beasts want to exist no matter what, and that should apply to you no matter the obstacle.

You should be able to exist.

[isuggestforcedeviaesis]

I guess I was in the wrong space then I’m sorry for bothering. I’ll think before asking next time it’s no one job but mine to figure myself out. I’m sorry.

i never said you weren't in the right space, just that it is best that you figure out if you are one before dabbling in permanent or societal changes in your life - especially when analyzing this as an additional intersection to your current material realities - because it sounded like you really weren't sure that you were one to begin with, not that you would never understand yourself as one. Trans beasts have higher risks of being pointed out in public because of our "abnormal appearance". Beasts of color who go out in masks or get body mods are more likely to be dehumanized for color and presentation as a beast. It just is how it is, especially when looking at the recent targeting of the media against children who are beasts in Spanish-speaking countries.

This blog hosts an adult space where I can freely talk about the more intimate parts of being a beast, and so asks like those are not rare and I answer when I can. I appreciate the asks either way.

[isuggestforcedeviaesis]

can i ask about advice on balancing an in-sys relationship with an out-sys relationship? making sure one doesn’t pull me away from the other? esp when it’s harder for me to trust outside people, but i want to try for the bf we share…

lucky for u im going through this exact thing (im not plural, i have a thoughtform)

first things first: Tell Them.

i have been in many poly-plural relationships. tell your partners and tell them exactly what you want. i have had a singlet ex use my vagueness against me. ive been hurt by a lot of non-systems and systems too, but i feel the hurt more with singlets and i empathize.

but you can't live in fear.

when i told my current partner about myselves, he comforted me and understood me entirely. he knew that i had another voice and he still loved me for it because i was actively caring for myself. that voice puts time and effort in keeping me alive and well. he isn't going to shame me for that. and maybe focusing on the benefits of having multiple people supporting you, in and out of system, should be a selling point.

beyond that, keeping everyone involved is important. people should not be left out unless it's something really, really personal that isn't shared elsewhere. i try to tell my partner everything my kutoni knows, and that ranges from our personal day and how im feeling, etc, etc.

jealousy and "pulling away" is a given. that is something that is going to always happen, no matter what. in relationships like this, you have to kind just accept that people will be jealous a lot more due to the fact that there are multiple people involved. communication is key. tell your out-sys partner the same things you'd tell your in-sys partner - esp if it pertains to plurality. tell them who's fronting, tell them if you're blendy, tell them how you feel, how bad/good the day was. if you want to avoid "pulling away", everyone has to be included and everyone has to put in effort to break down barriers and their fears.

while im not plural, im still using sugary language to communicate with my partner until i get comfortable using the language i use online. my kutoni understands that and i dont want to make the situation any more strange when my partner already knows my kutoni exists. he can use whatever language he wants, he respects my kutoni's role in my life.

include everyone is the biggest advice i'll give, and treat your in-sys partner(s) like they are real people, because that is how your out-sys partner(s) will treat them.

living in that state of fear that someone will hurt your system again is real, it is genuine, it is valid and it is a fear that makes sense. but it also hampers your understanding of how to treat singlets, how to respect them, and how to communicate with them. now, you might be hurting others with your pain, and that's worse than just being hurt. i know this first hand because after my ex, i ended up spiraling very heavy and hurting others by rejecting them time and space (which is okay to do but when you violently do it or make harmful statements, it is not) for interaction with me. i assumed there would never be a singlet who looks at me and loves me the same way as my kutoni, but i was wrong, and i know now that i was hampering my own chances by assuming his intentions.

your out-sys partner's responsibility is to listen, follow, understand, and accept. if they cannot do any of these and also cannot do the bare minimum in breaking these fears with you - they don't deserve you.