#not goblin stuff

[thatscavlife]

I honestly really need new friends.

I LIKE my friends, but they can't ever make time to hang out to the point where I'm embarrassed to ask if anybody wants to hang because I know they'll all say no. Again.

And like, I get it. We all have jobs or school, some of them are in relationships. But like.

Talkin' in the group chat ain't enough. I'm so fucking lonely because I never actually interact with human beings outside of my family and work, because I'm shitty and have social issues and never made any new friends after high school, and they're all sick of me now.

[thatscavlife]

so. my mom comes upstairs to ask me something. My room is a mess, this isnt new. Apparently NOW it's an issue for her, even though I'm a legal adult and I give her money every month for living here so let me have my fucking space???? I'm depressed and a bunch of my shelves broke and i cant afford to replace them right now, so yeah, shit's everywhere. anyways, she comes up to ask something, and immediately starts berating me because of the state of my room. i just stare at her and say "okay, but what did you want?" and she literally got so mad and was like "you know what? fuck this. I'll just do EVERYTHING myself like I ALWAYS DO." like. alright, seeya. I'm not gonna feel bad for you because you decided to throw a tantrum.

[thatscavlife]

here's the mood tonight, lads, tapped out in like five minutes.

I hate everything I write a lot and I judge myself really harshly so I'm hoping maybe if I start posting things, even if i don't get any feedback, idk maybe I'll start being braver or something???? who knows

[thatscavlife]

I thought i made a post about this before but I guess not because i cant find it?

Our neighbors across the street have this awful, loud, douchebag truck. Lifted wheels, confederate flag license plate (no license plate number, just the flag. Probably an unregistered vehicle). I call it The Compensator. It never leaves the driveway, they just sit there and rev the engine. Every day. Usually very early. Occasionally they will roll it to the edge of the driveway and back. It's woken up everybody in my house at some point or another, and they'll do it for hours.

Anyways, I hate it and I hate them, so in my newfound rebellion and anarchism I've discovered within me the last few weeks, I went out at 4am and shoved taco bell sauce packets under the tires. They aren't visible, but will explode if the truck is moved.

I also put a bumper sticker over their confederate flag that says "I support stupidity and I vote"

This post is scheduled, so I'm probably passed the fuck out by the time it posts

[thatscavlife]

I've written and rewritten this post three or four times. It keeps coming out way too long, where I know nobody would read it anyways.

Simply put, I thought starting a second job would bring me relief, because I wouldn't be worrying so much about money, but instead I'm really depressed and feel like I'm signing my life away. And I just don't know what to do.

[thatscavlife]

actually my whole life revolves around me having many interests and hobbies, and absolutely no motivation or energy to actually persue them, leaving me a sad, lazy, mess with piles of things i dont use as much as id love to

[thatscavlife]

I was telling my friend about the pride month display I was putting together at the bookstore i work at, and she's like "oh, you should put *this book* on there! it has really subtle lgbt undertones and isnt over the top about it." I know what book she's talking about and know for a fact that the plot is literally a straight romance.

No, this is for fucking PRIDE. No subtlety, no might-be-gay background characters. I want big, obvious lgbt main characters. Coming out stories are great, but we need more books where the protags already know exactly who they are and are LIVING FOR IT. Which, unsurprisingly, there are very few adult novels being written with lgbt characters. The bulk of them are young adult and middle grade books.

[thatscavlife]

My hours at work have been severely cut lately. Where I used to get 25-30 hours, enough to pay my basic bills (while also living at home for the moment to try to save money), I've been getting 12 a week for the last month, and it looks like it'll stay 12 a week for another month at least. I've been having to take out of savings to pay my bills and now I've dipped under $1,000 in savings (which I know is a lot more than a lot of people have, but oh god that's scary because i had almost twice that stashed away) so I'm trying to think like.

Is there any skill i have that i could make money off of. Like open an etsy for extra cash or something. I can cross stitch. I knit. I'm learning to spin yarn. I'd love to learn to make spoon rings. I can make earrings and necklaces of those little bootleg pokemon. I make tons of those. Maybe I can do interesting art with neat looking books. Maybe nice printed grave rubbings? My friend had an idea to make money as a traveling DM for D&D groups who need one. Honestly busking on a street corner would be good, but not in the area I live in.

I just need money so i can afford like. Basic necessities. But also, I need to earn money in a way that doesn't make me want to die even more than i already do, because I would 100% rather starve to death than work a job that I hate just for the cash.