#not sf

[sformula]

future

@f1gc x may x @animal-feather <3

[plnkbow]

I actually decided to post these on my main blog cus I can't be bothered to run two.. so.. teehee tpof ocs 🎀 featuring a guy and his perfectly molded babydoll who's lil desert gang got murdered brutally . . .

pls excuse the snatched waists idk what came over me

[fakexface]

Just Southern (Gothic) Things:

Mississippi, Arkansas, & Louisiana

•Do not go into the woods alone at night in the middle of winter. Yes, for the obvious reasons. But also for the not obvious. Not everything is sleeping.

•Always keep track of who is in your group if you go into the woods at night. Do a roll call every so often. If a voice sounds different, leave.

They are no longer with you.

•Those are not coyotes.

•That scream you heard is not a woman. That is a mountain lion. Or a red fox. Or something else.

Or maybe it is a woman. You don't go outside to see until the sun has risen.

•Do not enter the old, abandoned house in the field. It was abandoned for a reason.

•Do not go near the big, dead oak in the middle of the field. You won't be able to find your way back.

•Fireworks & gunshots both echo. Be careful.

•Do not disturb the ring of mushrooms. No, it is not a Fae circle. Do not disturb the ground.

There is a body beneath the soil.

•There is a tarantula crossing the road. It is big enough that you can see it from your car. You stop, and let it pass.

You return home and begin to pack. Things are about to change.

•The lovebugs are back. They are everywhere. They cover the sidewalks, the cars- everything.

You can't remember what it was like without them.

•You wave to the man in the old pickup that passes you on the dirt road. He waves back. You look in your rearview mirror.

His truck isn't there.

You drive a little faster.

•You hit a pothole. Your soul leaves your body for a moment. You apologize to your car.

•You forget to put your bag in the passenger seat of your car when you go over the train tracks.

You see someone sitting there.

You do not look at them. You do not speak.

They disappear when you reach your destination.

•The cicadas are back, loud as ever.

They mask the sound of your screams.

•There are gaters in the swamps, they say. Don't go into the water.

But you're certain that wasn't an alligator that you saw; it's skin was smooth, and it's eyes were too-human, but it still had too many teeth.

•Storm's comin', the old man on the corner tells you. The news didn't mention anything about a storm.

The next day, there's talk of a tropical depression in the Gulf.

The old man is gone when you go to see him.

•Cat's eyes reflect the light. So do racoon's.

So do alligator's.

Do not pet the shiny eyed creatures in the dark.

•Church is not mandatory on Wednesday nights. Ignore the lights in the church basement on Wednesday nights. It is none of your concern.

Do not listen to the chanting, or the screams. It is none of your concern.

•Do not go down County Road 6 at night. You will not return as the same person you were before you went down there.

•Teenagers liked to play the eleven mile game on the stretch of old highway outside of town.

There's been a mysterious lack of laughter, and more whisperings in the halls of the high school, now, ever since he went the eleven miles- and never returned.

•The siren is going off from the church. Lock your doors. Do not look out of your windows.

Something is out there. It wants in.

•Do not answer your door at night. Whoever is knocking does not want help.

•Something got one of your cows last night. The farmer down the road says it's coyotes. You agree.

You both know the claw marks are too big for coyotes.

Neither of you admits it outloud.

•There's a storm in the Gulf, the news says.

There is always a storm in the Gulf.

Jim Cantore appears, beckoned by the storm.

You begin to pack your bags and wait for the evacuation orders.

•It is Mardi Gras time. Iko Iko is playing in the store. Iko Iko is playing on the radio.

Iko Iko is playing in your house. You do not have the radio on. The TV is off.

Jock-a-mo fee-no ai na-né, jock-a-mo fee na-né.

•The woods on the side of the road are dark. You can see the swamp within. It beckons to you. The man standing in the water waves to you. You do not wave back.

•There are bluffs either side of the road. They blasted through the mountains to make this road, they say. They do not mention the rock that is too red. They do not mention the symbols that are carved into the rock. They do not mention the faces that stare out from the rock.

•There is a cemetery by the park. There is a cemetery by the subdivision. There is a cemetery on top of the hill, bigger than both towns.

You do not ask about the cemeteries, or the figures in old uniforms that walk the grounds at night.

•Your horses are spooked by the pond in the field. You want to get closer. You walk closer. Your horse leaves you. The water ripples. You run after your horse.

Eyes stare at you from the pond.

•The fireflies come out as the sun goes down. There are many. You hear children laughing as they play. The fireflies float up into the sky. The children continue to laugh.

You close your door and lock it. The children are laughing outside of your house.

•You took a wrong turn. You are on a dirt road. It is long and thin. You'll turn around at the next turn off, you say. There is no turn off. It is getting dark. You see eyes in the woods on either side of the road. You begin to worry.

[inactiveeee53225]

appalachian gothic;

(eastern kentucky)

don't trust the quiet couple who doesn't go to church on sundays

never turn down a meal from a burly man with a beard and a warm smile.

always turn one down from the widower without shoes

ignore the banjo at three in the morning followed by the laughter of women, it's just the devil trying to lure you

are children being drowned or baptized? that's none of your business

lock your doors.

it doesn't matter if you trust your neighbors

lock your fucking doors

put tarps over your windows to avoid seeing things you won't forget

not curtains

only tarps

don't listen to the screams of horror coming from the coal mines

finding dolls in the woods is more likely than you'd think

always wave to the snake carrier at church

everyone has a dog and/or cat and i suggest you follow suit

but

no one keeps small dogs here, they always go missing

don't be the first

the scrawny man in the woods isn't looking for money, just a soul to talk to

no one ever uses fireworks up here, it's a gunshot

sometimes people are found dead in their homes

everyone says it was an animal attack

but no one believes it was

leave the cicada shedding on your door, it'll help you later on

crosses are everywhere, though they represent more than the lord to some

leave the abandoned church in the mountains alone unless you want to be followed home

never eat the meatloaf from the toothless woman down the road

graveyards are always behind the churches but no one wants to say why

is that a ghost, person, or your imagination playing the dulcimer in your kitchen? you decide

if you here thundering footsteps coming from the woods, run

[sfnerdherdarchive]

Update: RiceGum says he doesn’t want to look like a little bitch. Proceeds to do shit that makes him look exactly like a little bitch.

I’m so sick of abusive assholes in the Youtube community.

[fakexface]

Working at a college is fun. For example, I had this conversation last night:

Student: I almost burnt the school down on accident.

Me: ??!?!?!

Student: You know those ramen containers? The Styrofoam ones? Well I'VE ALWAYS just filled them up to the fill line and just popped 'em into the microwave for three minutes. Everthing's okay.

Me: ... -Name-...

Student: Well, APPARENTLY you don't do that. You boil the water FIRST and THEN put it in. You never microwave it.

Me: ... How have you survived for twenty five years?

Student: I have absolutely no fucking idea.

[fakexface]

Oh Wait

Episode Ardyn dropped today oh man oh no I... I need to play it... I haven't touched ffxv in over a year now but I need to see what they did to Trash Jesus™.