One poem i plan on performing at some point. Still could be tweaked. Also just typed all together. just lazy.
You, you used to tell me that you loved when i wrote poems about you, so i spent my days writing love poems, and my nights analyzing the English dictionary trying to find words to put in place of your name that were even comparable, i compared your scent to that of lilacs in spring, to lavender because you put me at ease, but you, you were different. You were no flower you were a weed.
You also used to tell me that i could only write about the good, that you were no good for me and that i could never understand the darkness of your mind, while i tried to tell you that, that is how you see the stars.That i could see galaxies in your eyes. While i guess all you were doing was feeding me lies. Oh and trust me I’ve been fucked over before but you, you were different.
See you hide your monsters in the attic, because you are an addict. You would hide them in the basement, but that’s for your replacements. No, you are not dependent. “You’re clingy”. And no you are not mad its last call, you have a temper i remember you told me last fall...
Wasn’t you though, the one that was always forgetting. Forgetting where you put your car keys, Forgetting what your heart sees, Forgetting my needs. I used to matter. And matter of fact you set them on the table next to the pills you would take when your basement over fills.
You were like a thorn bush in fall and falling was inevitable. Cause hunny you were a question mark, and i love mysteries period.
You always had me questioning.
How many times could i burn the bare of my hand before i couldn’t bare to stand to look at you anymore? 9...
How many times did your eyes roll into the back of your head when i said i love you? 8....
How many johns did it take for you to forget how i tasted? 7...
How many lies does it take to get through the day? 6....
How many ruined plans? 5...
How many times did i have to find you dope sick on the floor? 4.,,
How many times was it just more important? 3.
How many times did you break my heart? 2
One time was all it took and you were gone! I stopped counting on you!
You made it your heroine, and i your villain. When all i was trying to do was save you. You stood on my cape and laughed at it dirty. I pray to god you make it to thirty. Because there is no superhero, no light at the end of a tunnel, that is a train and you are stuck between two tracks.
I will not speak beautifully of your addiction, I will preach it as an affliction. Because you have parasites that crawl under your skin, feeding off the sympathy and empathy of others. Destroying friends, lovers, and mothers. You are the black tar that ate dinosaurs and mammoths whole and still begged for more..and i only left here to ask What for?
Don’t know how I’m gonna end it but damn near close to finished. Expect a video soon.
