#nowhere better

[avocadosockz]

shoutout sister beatrice i took communion wine in small sips for u and i’m gonna get hammered with my gay friends this weekend

[waspabi]

(500 words) With Harry, he can’t look away. Harry’s eyes are wide, wild, desperate. It’s — it’s a lot. Nick hates bottoming with people he doesn’t know well. It feels too risky, really. Maybe because of the feverish way Nick always wants it; or because of how it makes him honestly believe, if just for a minute, that he loves the man who’s fucking him; or because after, when Nick is dressing and they say their goodbyes, he sometimes feels like he’s given something away he hadn’t meant to let slip

oh wow, going way back to Nowhere Better Than This Place! Fashion Nick is used to seeing sex as currency, as validation. This Nick is used to functioning in a culture where sex is impersonal, transactional, but ultimately he is not great at pretending like it doesn’t matter to him. When he’s put in a vulnerable position, he sees it almost as a loss of face. If he lets on that he really wants the other person honestly and not at all ironically, he’s lost the game. So for Fash Nick, sex is not only a transaction but also a kind of like, who-gives-less-of-a-shit face-off, which makes his encounter with Harry really startling. Harry’s not keeping score. He is not interested in playing any kind of weird game. If he wants something, he’s gonna ask for it.

What I wanted to establish here was Nick’s kind of fucked up perspective on sex and love, his absolute terror of emotional honesty/vulnerability and how in Harry, he sees somebody who is genuinely not afraid of having an unguarded and honest connection with another human person and who is sort of forcing Nick to look that right in the face. Fucking crazy, right? God, what’s that like? 

[waspabi]

So not to like echo a gazillion other waspabi-philes here but Nowhere Better was my first fic that I EVER READ and it was endearing and perfect and lovely and sucked me right the fuck in. And now I'm in graduate school doing a lot of work and writing on girls and fandom and how important they are so like. YOU KINDA CHANGED MY LIFE KELLY NGL. <3

Whaaaaat well I am very glad that you and fandom found each other xx

[waspabi]

My favourite fic of yours is "nowhere better than this place". I've read it so many times. It's just such a lovely au.

Thank you! I really enjoyed writing Fashion Nick for that one. 

[blinds-helps-transform-gx]

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[johnwbradshaw]

I won't stop until I see those eyes that burn with love for me.