as far as your memories trace back, you have experienced the sensation of sitting surrendered inside the cockpit of your eyes. you have watched yourself do things you did not want to, and say things you did not want to say, and not do things you wanted to do, and not say things you wanted to say. within the You Vehicle, you have begged the machine to do and keep doing, and to not do and stop doing, and it doesn't listen to you until it relents bitter because it does not respect you because you do not respect it. like bullies at school, or parents at home, you learned to tune out their yelled disparages. just take it and pretend like they aren't there. perhaps your thoughts could speak softer to the You Vehicle, perhaps you are insulting the autopilot of a machine as though it's designed for incorporating feedback