Been feeling an extreme amount of #anxiety lately. Too much of my life feels up in the air right now and it is making my #ptsd rage. I have been quietly handling nightmares, panic attacks and wrestling with demons I thought I had conquered. Will I be enough? Will my family be okay? And in these moments I take some space to breathe without apology. I resist the urge to force circumstances to bend to my racing thoughts and try to give the people in my life time. Time to reply or just start figuring out answers to my 1000 questions. The job doesn’t help. This contract has been one of the most demanding I have ever worked and that is saying a LOT. I wake up hours before I go in and really have to force myself to do it. To take yet another punishing assignment riddled with issues and families and behaviors. To know that I can do it is volumes different than do I want to do it. And these last 4 weeks are going to test out what mettle I have left. But once in a while? There is a pocket of space. An eye 👁 in the hurricane and it gives me back the air so recently sucked from my soul. Nursing is not for the faint of heart. And it is not for the careless, for they just add to the burdens of the careworn. So I am rocking my bleached hair and dark circles as the merit badge they are. Well earned and hard won. Be kind to each other today. And when you are holding lives in your two hands treat them with the utmost respect and reverence. Even if they don’t respond with a thank you but instead a fuck you. Here is to us. #nursetribe #thosewhowander #traumabonding #workfamily #travelnurse #keepfighting https://www.instagram.com/p/B1wczAfp1Qi/?igshid=qkmfxk11g43d