i've seen enough people crying over this uzi sacrifice scene in ep7 but i don't think enough people actually analyzes esp uzi and N's character (atleast from what i've seen??) and my god i need to rant because this scene the more i watch it the more it ABSOLUTELY destroys me (save me nuzi save me...)
messy rant incoming...
alright, quick recap of the characters so i can later explain my points better
pilot uzi had no one to rely on, treated as a freak by her community, neglected by her father and overall completely isolated with the world. She had no one but herself, that's why she never allows herself to show any vulnerabilities so people won't take advantage of her and literally dismisses her own feelings and coping mechanisms as "angsty hormonal teen feelings" and developed a inferiority complex of wanting to prove herself and be recognized. Meeting N was more than just a change of trajectory in her life, he helped her in so, SO many ways from making her realize that her feelings are validated and it's okay to lean on others when you need it the most, to be vulnerable- something that she desperately needed but was never provided- to helping her just.. overall improve herself and promise that he'll always be there when she needs him the most. N is so integral in uzi's life, all she needed was someone to understand her, and there he was.
meanwhile N is always treated as a worthless nobody by people around him which is very evident in the pilot with his interactions between J and V. He clearly has issues when it comes to his own self worth and completely robbed of autonomy. All he ever wanted was to be useful and seen by others, which leads to him going along with other's insane crazy ideas without questioning morals and rights or wrongs. Uzi was the one that helped him find a ground he can stand on and finally being able to defend himself and what he thinks is worth protecting, as well as being a genuine friend he can finally talk and bond with after being ignored for so long.
and back to the scene. The reason why this scene hurts so much for me is that uzi finally found someone so important to her that she's willing to sacrifice herself and thanked N for "everything" he's ever done. He gave her everything that she could possibly ask for, she was content. Uzi even used her solver powers to push N away to make sure he wasn't in danger or an attempt to save her. The fact that she even thanked N, making it sounds like her final words to him implies that she was okay with dying and giving up her own life just really says how much N meant to her. She couldn't have done all of this without meeting him, to be selfless and sacrifice yourself for someone you truly love.
for N he's probably absolutely devastated, especially after V's sacrifice the ep before. Both of his closest friends sacrificed also for the sake of saving him, he literally could not do anything but watch them disappear in front of him. He'd probably blame himself so much for failing to save them and the fact that he has self harm tendencies every time he makes a mistake... N is definitely VERY TRAUMATIZED from this and also needs time to heal as well.
overall im very normal about nuzi these 2 will be the death of me i love them so much. both of them meeting each other was the best thing that ever happened to them and watching them grow and develop is so 😭😭😭
have a good day thank you so much for reading this very messy rant and bare with my very limited vocabulary if you did... ;3