Hero Swallows-Oak-García's Guide to Fixing a Polycule Marriage in 10 Easy Steps || A03
Hero sets everyone in the polywagon up on one-on-one dates so they can connect to each other and save their marriage.
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CHAPTER 2 IS UP!!! Got a little Hermie and Linc date! We love us some enemy-to-lovers KickWorthy!
Each chapter will explore a different pairing in the polywagon, and each chapter will be at least 10k words, so if you only like certain pairings, you can read those chapters in isolation without reading other chapters.
Upload schedule for chapters might be inconsistent, but I will post updates on this Tumblr, and you can also subscribe to the fic to get emails when new chapters appear.
Disclaimer! I wasn't here when Season 2 aired. These aren't my ideas. I don't remember who the rightful creators are for these names or if the merged names/aesthetic are right but if anyone knows lemme know!
Season 1 Dads
ATMOD
KidDads
Peachyville
My Ideas: Firecracker, Swift Kick(?), Sports Anime, Tragic Comedy, Theatre Masks
POLYCULES
Oak-Garcia-Swallows-Li-Wilson-Marlowe-Stampler-Swift-Unworthy
(Normal/Lincoln/Scary/Taylor/Hermie): Polywagon
Your favorite dndads ships and what they say about you (teens edition):
Gothcleats (scary and Lincoln): You believe in the inherent eroticism of sharing a hobbie. Simultaneously enabling each other and driving each other to improve. Of offering patience and understanding. Of knowing that it's not words that matter, it's actions. And of understanding truths about the other without them being spoken. Also, you don't know how to express your feelings.
Swiftli (taylor and Lincoln): You believe in the inherent eroticism of guys being dudes and that a rock solid, ride-or-die friendship is the best foundation for a relationship. You have at one point been in love with your best friend.
Anti hero (hero and taylor): you LOOOOVE when two mfs have stupid beef w/ each other. You think watching anime is like,,, a LITTLE bit sexy. You think they're both fucking losers and you wanna push them together like stuffed animals and make them kiss.
Gothweeb (Taylor and scary): you recognize the inherent eroticism of those boomer, "I hate my wife" comics and think that's a god teir dynamic and it would be soooo funny if they kissed about it. Also, you probably have read homestuck.
Marloak (Scary and normal): oh you fuckin HATE hermie unworthy. And you know what? Based. You think fucked up parallels and narrative foils could be turned into something to bond over if they would just give it a chance. You really just want them both to be fucking happy and really who can blame you?
Oakworthy (Normal and hermie): you REALLY just want normal to be happy. You probably think hermie unworthy is misunderstood/over-overhated. The will-they-won't-they is literally killing you. You are probably autistic.
Oakswift (Normal and taylor): You think jealously is just the first step to a meaningful relationship and that the least hygienic boys in the group should kiss each other far away from everyone else. Also I literally forgot about this one and had to add it in later so idk what that says about this ship but it says something.
Oakli (Normal and Lincoln): You believe in the inherent eroticism of two people with absolutely zero chemistry. You probably really liked Henry/Darryl and are trying to re-ride that high.
Kickworthy (Lincoln and hermie): You think one-sided hatred is hot and is just the beginning of an enemies to lovers arc. Also, you probably think Lincoln has enough of a backbone to not just put up with hermies shit like normal does so they'd be a better pair.
Drama queens (Hermie and scary): You think theater kids should bang because they're too obnoxious for anyone else to be forced to put up with.
Ok look if one person can manifest kickworthy into this fandom I gotta shoot my shot--
I am Seeing The Vision for both norm/taylor (oakswift?) and norm/link (I'd been calling this oakli in my head but I just saw cheerkicks and I love that) I just think they're so silly
Listen the more episodes that have passed since the first sonic visit the less it makes sense for me to ship normal and Taylor but idc idc normal is the guy who falls head over heals in love with his best friend and tries not to be obvious and everyone notices but not Taylor because Taylor literally gets a nosebleed like an anime character when he likes someone and he assumes everyone else does too. Taylor notices nothing but he loves his friends so much okay. He is like phineas of and ferb when it came to Isabella. Okay? OK great thanks for listening
