#oathkeeper.

[swordmaid]

thinking about [...] “what say we make a truce?” “truces are built on trust. would you have me trust -“ vs ‘im sorry I don’t trust you anymore. i don’t know how to do that anymore’ vs ‘trust is earned. like gold / he trusted me with his sword, he trusted me with his honor.’ and the actual siginificant impact it has on brienne’s character since she has conditioned herself to be mistrustful and wary of anyone due to how she has been treated in the past. not to mention that she has been introduced to jaime in his lowest, overheard him admitting all the heinous shit he has done — the incest, kingslaying, throwing bran off the tower, judged him thus till she was proven otherwise in the bath. jaime bearing his soul to her is already so important, but jaime trusting her the truth about his kingslaying is equally as important since no-one (as far as what the text provides) have trusted her in such a way before, and I think that itself is so significant and it builds the stepping stones to the trust she has on jaime on affc. her faith on him is not misguided ; she knew exactly what he was, she knew all his baggages and all the nasty shit he has done in his life but she still manages to trust him anyway—the character that’s been mistrustful of nearly everyone she meets and come across. people she admires is an exception, but even then, they’ve managed to earn her trust by doing something for her that no one has before (renly dancing with her, catelyn defending her on bitterbridge) and not to route back on jb, but it’s so interesting to me when people say that ‘jaime doesn’t deserve brienne’ because he does X, Y, Z, when in truth, brienne was well aware that he did those things, and she despised him for those things, but she still chooses him anyway because the significance of his current actions and what he’s done for her overshadows her own judgement of him and his past (his explanation helps too lool)

[deifrma]

brienne tarth  :    their relationship with gender and sexuality in a world like westeros.

gender roles in westeros are very strict and leave very little wiggle room in terms of how people should portray themselves.  it also limits the role of each gender.  for brienne  ,    this was a very hard concept to fathom as they felt very isolated from the accepted norms of women in the society.  because of this  ,    they rebelled. 

trained with a sword and refusing to wear dresses   ,    among other things.  brienne’s gender expression first started to develop in this manner.  along with them cutting their hair.  while not knowing terms like dysphoria and dysmorphia  ,    both were relieved when brienne did these things  ,    and since then they have been seeking to relieve an unknown feeling.  this is also were sexuality comes into play. 

i imagine there is no term such as lesbian in the language of westeros  ,    or if there is  ,    it is used in a more humiliating  /  filthy manner  ,    and mocked by men.  as such  ,    brienne would have not understood what the feelings they were having were.  feeling very disconnected from the societal norm of women  ,    but also feeling very connected to women in the sense of attraction.  because of this  ,    brienne has been left very confused about who and what they are.  even the pronouns she  /  her feel wrong for brienne.

but as feelings of dysphoria was relieved  ,    brienne was left open to explore these feelings in a more in – depth manner.  for all brienne knows  ,    they are the only one that feels this way.  and while it is not exactly shame  ,    they do not speak up about their feelings as it is not something encouraged in the established society.  because of this  ,    learning about themselves is a slow process.  first becoming more comfortable in themselves before they can even think of pursuing the feeling they have for other women.

brienne’s disconnect with the female gender can mostly be attributed to their appearance in the beginning.  being taller than even some men and stronger than them as well  ,    they did become ridiculed for it.  as such  ,    brienne did not see themselves as the accepted norm for women  ,    though never felt any need to try and conform.  in fact  ,    despite the hardships they faced for such a decision  ,    brienne continued to rebel.

it was worth it when they became knighted.  becoming a knight was a huge stepping stone for brienne in accepting themselves for who and what they are.

so while brienne does not know these terms  ,    they would be considered a gnc butch lesbian.  a terms that connects to them in how they perceive themselves and the disconnect they have towards gender in general.  brienne has never been able to fit inside either of the strict categories required and for this reason  ,    brienne chose to stay outside of it.

figuring out that they were a lesbian was also heard for brienne.  a relationship between women is very sexualized in the society established in westeros  ,    and they  ,    of course  ,    do not see women in the way straight men do.  because of this  ,    brienne does not know what they are  ,    though they do not feel shame in their attraction. 

[swordmaid]

[deifrma]

fumbles  /  overly stiff movements.  still growing into their role.  a knight  !    in shining armour  !    has come further than brienne ever expected.  might be in charge  ,    but their head does bow for a brief moment.     ❛  ser    ––– –    how goes it  ?  ❜     they have all had their duties  ,    morgause not the only one to report back to brienne.  though the king did ultimately dictate their actions.  some guard him while others his kin.  the woman of tarth having just been dismissed from the king’s side naught an hour or less ago.

❛  i imagine your patrol was uneventful.  ❜     would have heard something if it wasn’t.

@hcretics .

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