#ob anesthesia

[this-is-mdness]

Me: sitting in recliner, covered in blanket, reading

Phone: *rings*

Me: UGHHHHHHH

Me: *unreclines, drops book and blanket, gets up*

Phone: *stops ringing*

I love this job but night shift takes years off your life for no good reason

[this-is-mdness]

10.07.2025

Trigger warning: miscarriage, fetal death

It's somehow so much sadder when good people handle bad news with grace.

Had a patient yesterday who was admitted for poor fetal heart tracings (already diagnosed with multiple fetal anomalies) and ultimately miscarried while in the hospital. She was transferred down to the labor ward for induction and she requested to have an epidural placed before the process began.

I walked into the room expecting a very somber environment. It was, but it also wasn't. She smiled. She laughed. She was energetic. We (patient, mom, nurse, me) chatted all throughout the procedure to help keep her distracted. She brought up her previous pregnancy and the plans she had made "before all this happened." We talked about her daughter--the family Halloween costumes they did last year, her costume for this year. After the epidural was placed, she grabbed her phone to show us pictures and videos, all of which were too freaking adorable. We cooed and squealed and laughed and you would never had guessed what a tragedy had brought us into the same room.

This child would have been so loved. It's not fair.

I can only be grateful that the epidural went smoothly. I can only hope that I took away a little of the suffering in this process. I hope that my presence helped in some small way.

It's nice that my job can be sitting in a chair, scrolling social media, and not rounding on patients. But we all, at some level, find satisfaction and meaning in helping people. I'm glad I get to do that.

It's not about me. But I'm honored (if that is the right word) to have been allowed to be part of this experience.

[this-is-mdness]

October 1, 2025

Uh hi I have been gone for too long!

I am currently on the start of my second month of OB anesthesia. We are staggered here at my program, so we have two residents that just started their OB rotation. I am senioring for the first time!

It's crazy to sit in the workroom, eat a snack, pop my head through the door, give the junior a thumbs up, get one in return, and leave. CRAZY!!!!

It's also another nice way to see what I've learned. Today my coresident struggled with an epidural, I tried to stay very patient and offer advice, but eventually I gloved up and I ended up getting it. Far cry from the night I was calling for help endlessly, or when I felt completely lost in the back. Grateful for the people who have given me pointers along the way and I know I still have a lot to learn.

Anyway. Just a quick note to say that I'm still here, I still love my job, and my journey continues onwards.