#obi problems

[little-obi]

I feel like I get so stressed out about final projects that i physic myself out and it never ends up being my best work but then ill go and do something in my free time or in my sketchbook and it always ends up better then my final pieces, although my final pieces have been getting progressively better, it just never feels good enough

[little-obi]

this painting needs 10 more hours of refining and I'm just gonna go eat toast and go to bed

[little-obi]

The amount of paint on this paper is thicker then the paper is

[little-obi]

every time I try to go to the gym I get too nervous and freak out and leave. I would rather freeze my ass off running outside. Its pretty much at the point where my joints and lungs can't deal with the cold anymore and I need to start running inside because I only have 111 days left to train and I freaking out.  Plz send help

[little-obi]

[little-obi]

Reasons why February 3rd sucks

2 years ago - really bad breakup

last year - followed off the train by a guy who tried to mug me and I ended up with a dislocated shoulder

This year - Hit by a car

Next year -???????

[little-obi]

I didn't run today which means I can't sleep and I have class at 8am weeeeeeee

[little-obi]

I'm falling back into one of those ruts where I can't sleep, normally I would just go for a run but thats a bad idea at 2am in boston and now I just feel trapped and anxious which makes me feel like I need a hug or something except there are so few people that I'm ok with physical contact that it makes me feel like I should just take a long break from physical contact with people period. I hate feeling like I have to rely on other people to fix my problems and I should just deal with it on my own I wouldn't be such a mess right now if i had gone running today and I'm aware that if I don't run I don't sleep what the frick frack snick snack was I thinking uhhhhhggg