#objects: sir

[mynameisquoi]

a new parenting craze is sweeping through the nursing home and wally is not immune. she's been inspired by raquel to give the whole take-care-of-my-kids thing another try.

sir: master... what are you doing?

wally: teaching my son to walk.

sir: there is no need for you to do this. i am perfectly programmed to--

wally: i know. but i'm still going to do it.

[mynameisquoi]

or maybe lance will survive! look at him feeding himself from the fridge all by himself :')

this is not good news for sir though, poor thing. now even the frail, sickly, incompetent mature humans are making do on their own. obsolescence seems closer than ever...

if he doesn't figure out how to change things fast he might wind up in the recycling bin.

[mynameisquoi]

the acquisition of toddler skills has turned into a silent arms race between wally and sir.

the biggest winners, of course, are the toddlers themselves.

[mynameisquoi]

it will take all of sir's computational power to fully resolve this problem. in the meantime, he does what he can to boost the nursing home's numbers. placing ads in the paper, making cold calls to bingo halls-- sir will do whatever it takes to grow his flock.

he even (somewhat surreptitiously) involves his master in his recruiting efforts. alas, his master's incompetence in parent-child relations seems to extend to familial bonding in general, as she is unable to convince her elderly half-brother to move in.

his master prefers to spend her time increasing the robotic, rather than human, population.

the potential implications of her efforts are...troubling. sir must keep a close eye on her.

[mynameisquoi]

as the mature human ages and their faculties decline, the scales do tip back in sir's favor yet again. the elderly -- although not as demanding as human children-- have needs that only grow exponentially with time.

despite this, time is not sir's friend. for with age comes fragility and the potential for sudden, unanticipated demise.

which for sir means one less ward.

there is ebb and there is flow but time always wins in the end.

is obsolescence-- like death, like taxes-- inevitable? or is there another way for poor sir the servo?

[mynameisquoi]

sir must not become obsolete.

the solution to this supply/demand issue is simple, at least on the surface-- increase the population of wards.

the recent birth of the human twins was a significant boon. and although their presence has converted the nursing home more to a nursery, sir calculates that this shift is to his benefit, at least in the short term.

children are voracious in their appetites and bottomless in their demands. the only competition sir has in fulfilling their needs is their incompetent mother-- his master-- who has thankfully ceded the majority of their care to him.

[mynameisquoi]

there is a supply and demand problem at the nursing home.

sir has so much service to give, but there are very few residents to receive it. and yet, his programming forbids him from ceasing production. he must give and give and give even as the fruits of his labor rot on the vine (or on the dining table, as it were).

as he looks at the accumulating waste, something akin to dread crawls up his circuitry. if his services are not needed-- if he is not needed-- then what is he? powerless. useless.

obsolete.

[mynameisquoi]

the welcome party for the warlock family is...a robot? can't say i'm a fan of the science fantasy genre.

faith: normally this would be the time to serve a crappy single-cooking-point level dish but...

faith: whatever, tradition is tradition!