I’m officially being pointed in a direction.
So I’m planning on a tattoo. Right? So I’m thinking about it today, and one of the things that comes to mind is a raven. Not unusual; since I worship the Morrighan and my Mama Nemain, ravens are pretty important to me. I decided to look for raven designs, and one thing leads to another, and I end up looking for what the raven represents in Ojibwe faith.
I don’t talk about it much, because I don’t know what to do with it, but I am Metis. My great-grandmother was Ojibwe, in fact, and married my great-grandfather, whom my mother adored and adores despite his death a few years back. I never knew my great-grandmother - I believe she died before I was born - but it’s been something that I’ve thought about a lot. I don’t know that she was deeply spiritual, and I heard that she sort of divorced herself from her culture after her marriage, but I do feel like she is an important influence, in some way. After all, the last conversation that she had with my mother was over the phone . . . after she passed.
I’ve been hesitant to look into Ojibwe culture for two reasons: one, I was not raised in it, and it feels almost wrong to try and embrace it again when there’s so much difference between that culture and my own. I mean, I’m so far down the line that if I had kids, they would not be considered Metis. I would be according to the government, but it feels inappropriate to look into and almost try to step into the culture when I haven’t been invited - even with my family line.
The other reason is because my grandmother left that culture, and never really talked about it from what I heard, and I don’t know why. There’s a part of me that wants to respect her memory, but also a part of me that feels like her reasoning for leaving that culture should matter to me. I know, it sounds stupid. But it matters to me.
Back to the raven. I decided to look up what it was about in Ojibwe culture, because I remembered reading a little about it in my Native Studies course, and I knew it would have some significance. What I found is this: not only is it a significant animal in Ojibwe teachings, but it also represents change and metamorphosis.
I started my tumblr nearly two years ago and took a username based off of a Blue Stahli song. Then my moniker became significant as I continued my personal growth and counseling. Now I know that the animal important to me and the goddesses I worship has a deeper connection to me through the faith of my great-grandmother.
Maybe these sources are wrong. Maybe I need to be corrected. If so, then so be it. But what matters is that I was led from a tattoo inspired by my goddess, to a connection between my heritage and the bird my goddess cherishes. My personal growth, my spirituality, and my heritage all got linked in a few little clicks.
There’s got to be a message here.
The trick is, what is it, and what am I meant to find?
