hii it's anon! it's been a while, i hope you've been well 💗
I've been doing pretty good recently i guess? it's not like all kinds of thoughts don't come up anymore but it's just I'm not letting them affect me as much anymore. even if any thought does make me feel worried, I try not to spiral. instead taking a more level headed kind approach. it's a long way but hopefully I can balance and keep continuing this momentum and get better and healthier and at peace with time.
that said, I've been wondering recently. sometimes, for certain thoughts that I'm really completely "over", I can laugh them off and be like "yeah why did I even worry about that?" but many other thoughts do still get me a bit self-conscious? I mean, it's not worry as such but since I've built a habit of overthinking, I do end up getting a bit engaged with them though it's not really bad....
but I've been thinking, why is that? I mean, even in the past when certain thoughts really affected me badly, how did that happen? like, how can a simple "thought" and then related thoughts make someone spiral?
why is it that we can't simply look at it as just a "thought" and laugh it off but instead end up getting worried about it or end up seeing those thoughts as a problem or threat when they're not? like....how does that even work?
because for me, if I get any random thought that does make me worry, I have this tendency to look at it as an "ongoing problem" that needs to be solved or something. but it's actually not right? so I've been trying to learn to not engage with every other negative thought that comes up in my mind. Instead to regard it as just a thought and not to take it seriously always.
what I've been trying to do is if some thoughts make me overthink, I try to make some distance from them. like not do anything about those thoughts, not even rationalise immediately. I first try to focus on my present and after some while of distance, if I still feel i should rationalise, then I do. otherwise I let it go. it's not as easy as it sounds but I've been trying my best in a way.
but it's crazy how just putting some distance from the thoughts (instead of jumping into them right away) before I look them over can make me see a bit more clearly how I'm worrying over nothing.
this is something I've been noticing a lot in the past year. when I take a break from any thought instead of engaging with it immediately as it pops up, it many times helps me see how it's such a simple worry. but even the simplest worry, if we look at it hard enough, can seem like a big problem.
I mean, even the smallest of thought which we don't usually mind at all, if we think about it in all kinds of negative perspectives or if I think about it hard enough, it totally starts to look like a big big problem or something. it's weird. I wonder why is that.
this why I mentioned putting a distance or taking a break from the thought instead of getting to rationalising it right away since taking a break from my mind and instead engaging with my actual real life and real things in my life helps me see things clearly, even if for a moment. do you think that sounds like a good/healthy approach?
also sorry if that sounds childish or something haha and thank you as always! wishing for healthier, happier and peaceful days for both of us 💗
Hey Anon!
Nice to hear from you. I'm glad to hear you've been doing okay and figuring out how to manage your thoughts.
It's completely normal to have those moments where you think about the old things you used to worry about and laugh, while others still may not feel the same. You may or may not get those thoughts to be at the same level as the ones where you laugh at, but it's nothing to stress out about. It's definitely strange that we can't laugh off certain thoughts in the moment, but it's because the thought in itself usually triggers that survival response in the brain since we haven't told our mind yet that it isn't a threat. The body remembers it as a threat and will trigger certain visceral/physiological responses until we finally convince ourselves that it's not as threatening as it may seem. Of course this makes us feel stupid in retrospect when we've finally gotten over the worries, but it meant something to you when it did. Instead of getting mad at yourself for reacting the way you did in the past, think of them as things you triumphed over! It's easy to want to beat yourself up for thinking certain things, but at the time those "monsters" seemed bigger than they actually were and it's okay. Now that you know better, you can handle anything else that comes your way.
I'm glad that you are starting to put more space in between your thoughts! That really can help to give the thoughts less meaning or have it have so much power over you, so I'm proud of you for doing that! You're definitely on the right track and I think that's a great way to approach them too. If you're finding certain thoughts keep reoccurring, then there's usually something more that needs to be discovered about it, but the fact that you're able to create that distance means you're now able to observe your thoughts and not let them get to you. That's amazing!
