@obsessher asked : you’re a crisis of my faith.
felicity clings to words of comfort as if they are life preservers thrown to her , even when they’re carelessly tossed in the general direction of where she’s been drowning for the past twenty eight years . her friends seem completely unaware of her daily struggle . in truth the women aren’t quite deserving of the title friends : a group of paper dolls playing pretend together , dinner party after dinner party and girls night after girls night . for all the time they spent together , felicity heavily suspects none of them are actually very fond of each other . they had no more say in their friendship than they did in their finances : such is the fate of wealthy men’s wives . the weight of the diamond ring on her finger grows heavier & heavier with every passing day , though the cracks in her facade are hardly visible to the naked eye .
her friendship with the bookshop clerk had caught her off guard . even though it wasn’t illicit to make a friend , deep down felicity had a feeling it would be leading to something like this —- and worse , that hugo would be blinded with rage if he knew she was spending time with someone he hadn’t introduced her to . but joe was sweet & attentive when she was around , and that alone was enough to upset the delicate balance that upheld her life . his hand was placed light as a feather over her own , his murmured sentiment accompanied by a look that seemed to pierce right through her . for a moment , she’s rendered speechless by the tender gesture , struck by the oddly poignant phrasing . poor felicity : with no defense for kindness , the conflict she’s feeling is clear on delicate features .
‘ at the end of the day , faith is all we really have . ’ it’s spoken like an apology , her hand gently freeing itself from his & settling instead in her lap , two carats of prison chains glittering on her left hand . she can’t seem to hold his gaze , blue eyes ultimately landing on the floor as though she’s ashamed . of what , exactly , she’s not sure . perhaps it’s because she knows full well that there were worse situations to be in than a loveless , neglectful marriage —- and a foolish part of her still desperately hopes that someday the tide will shift , & she and hugo could be happy again . as a child felicity was always left last in hide - and - seek because everyone knew she would wait : now , like deja vu , she sets her table for two every night for a man who is hardly ever home . ‘ i’m sorry . ’