Serana being unable to trust gentle forms of physical contact, because she went her whole life either trying to earn it, or only getting it when somebody wanted her to use her one way or another.
Elowyn and Serana return from the Soul Cairn. Serana has a lot of emotions over the whole thing, Elowyn just wants her to know it’s not her fault.
Rated: W for Wholesome Content
Elowyn took an inhale of the laboratory air as she exited the purple portal. The smell of dust was a welcomed scent compared to whatever stench had been in the Soul Cairn. “You would think a vampire would be used to the smell of rotting flesh.” She let out a short chuckle. “I can’t imagine living there for a thousand years….” When she didn’t get a response, she glanced back at her companion, and found her standing with her back to the Elf.
Serana had been incredibly quiet since they’d found her mother, and to some extent Elowyn didn’t blame her. When they had initially found Valerica, the look Serana had gotten was like nothing she’d ever seen on the Nord before. Almost like a puppy being reunited with its mother for the first time in months. But it had faded the moment it was apparent the feeling was not mutual. Valerica had been incredibly quick to discredit and ignore what her daughter had to say, and when Serana had tried to quickly explain herself Valerica had directed her attention to Elowyn instead. She’d defended herself against the matriarch, explained that she’d simply been keeping Serana safe and she had no intentions of completing the prophecy, which Valerica had expressed her skepticism about.
And when Serana was given the chance to speak again, she expressed her feelings surprisingly calmly. She told her mother that Elowyn had done more for her in the past week then Valerica had done in a lifetime. That, regardless of her intentions, Valerica had completely disregarded Serana’s feelings. That she had simply expected Serana to go along with whatever she was told. That she wanted things to be normal for them again, but didn’t believe it was possible anymore. And Valerica could only offer an apology, and agree to give them the Elder Scroll if they managed to get the barrier down.
Serana had been quiet the rest of their time in the Soul Cairn, and Elowyn hadn’t pressed her to talk despite how tense the silence felt for the Altmer.
Now that they were back, and had a moment to relax, it seemed like as good a time as any. “Are… you okay?" Serana looked back at her, arms crossed over her chest. “You’ve been rather quiet, is all.”
The Nord pursed her lips. “I’ve just learned my own father plans to kill me.” She stated sharply, fully turning to face the Elf. “Not only that, my mother, the one person I thought I could trust, that I thought… cared about me, knew about it, and then played me against him like a pawn. And the worst part is, the more I think about it, the more I blame myself….” There was a short pause. “I should have seen this coming. I should have stopped them, and I didn’t…. I let my mother’s hatred blind me, and let them both fall apart….” Serana’s voice cracked, and she covered her face with her hands. “It’s all my fault….”
“Oh, no.” Elowyn took the shorter girl’s hands in her own. “Serana, you can’t put all this on yourself.”
“You just… You don’t understand!” She snapped back, pulling away. “You didn’t grow up in a family that made you feel like the cause of every problem! That made you feel like a burden just for being alive! Where you felt the need to hide from the world around you! Where they-” Serana took a breath, wiping a tear from the corner of her eye. “Where everything is your fault. Even when it isn’t….”
There was a moment of pause from the Elf. She was right, Elowyn’s life before vampirism was nothing like what Serana must have gone through. It was hard to imagine dealing with years of hearing her parents fight, but she couldn’t let Serana keep blaming herself for it all. “Darling, look at me.” She gently took hold of the Nord’s shoulders as glassy eyes stared up at her. “It is not your fault.”
Serana’s mouth twitched. “But I-” She was cut off when Elowyn suddenly brought her into a hug, and fully tensed at the action. “W-What are you-”
“I will not allow you to keep beating yourself up over things out of your control.” The Altmer stated, giving her a small squeeze. “None of this is your fault.” She felt Serana awkwardly wrap her arms around her torso, and silently wondered how long it had been since she’d been shown this sort of affection. She eventually buried her face into Elowyn’s shoulder and relaxed in the embrace, even returning the small squeeze.
“I’m sorry…” She muttered. “For yelling…”
“It’s alright, darling.”
A small sniffle came from the vampire. “Can we… stay like this… just for a minute?”
Elowyn let out a small hum. “As long as you need, my dear….”
