AN: @maplerosekisses commissioned this months ago, and because I am trash I’m only just getting around to posting it. I hope you like it, sweetie! They requested a fic that included my OCs - you can find the timeline they also created for me here, if you so wish.
“Where the hell are you?” James greeted as soon as Noah picked up the phone. “I’ve called you seven times already.”
“Hi, honey, it’s nice to hear from you, too,” Noah drawled back, and James rolled his eyes. “I’m stuck in a little traffic, but shouldn’t be too much longer. I’m only like ten blocks away.”
Despite everything, James breathed a sigh of relief. “Well… other than Peter and MJ, everyone else has arrived. You need to get your perky little ass over here right now.”
MJ was mere days away from giving birth to her and Peter’s first child. With that in mind, Dad and Pops had decided to give them a free pass from Family Dinner and Game Night so they could go over their final preparations before the birth. James hadn’t been granted the same immunity, and had somehow ended up inviting Noah to come along with him.
They had been dating for a few months. James had never brought anyone to Family Dinner and Game Night before, and… he really wanted it to go well. He didn’t do relationships, usually, but… he really liked Noah. He didn’t know if he could stand it not going well.
“Stop panicking,” Noah advised over the phone, as though he could actually hear James’s thoughts from ten blocks away. “I’ll be there.”
“I know,” James replied automatically, and then, with more feeling, “I know you will. It’s not you I’m worried about.”
“Your family loves me. There’s no need to be worried at all.”
Noah had met everyone at least once already, but never… all together. They didn’t do Family Dinner and Game Night very often, but when they did everyone was there. Extended family, friends, kids – anyone Dad and Pops considered in The Inner Circle got an invite, and it was always a really fun night, sure, but… it was official. Everyone whose opinion James cared about would be there, and they knew him. They knew he didn’t usually do relationships, and there would be… questions.
He just didn’t want to put Noah through it, really.
“They’re just… a lot,” he sighed, leaning against the wall. “A lot, a lot.”
Even now, Uncle Clint was wrestling with Uncle Thor for the remote over on the couch. It was the kind of wrestling that looked friendly and age appropriate, but James knew Uncle Clint was going to end up going through a wall if he wasn’t careful. James could just imagine the trip to the hospital coming, but refrained from saying anything. If Uncle Clint wanted to break his hip again, all he had to do was keep prodding Uncle Thor with the clicker.
Lily was helping Dad and Pops in the kitchen, but Leif and Runa were playing noisily in a corner with their Dad. Dorsteinn let out a mighty roar and then spread his arms wide, letting his cackling kids hit him repeatedly with the foam swords they were both holding.
Uncle Bruce was playing chess with Aunt Nat, and they both looked very perturbed by the amount of noise going on – though neither of them said anything. Their silence was more terrifying than if they had.
James didn’t know where everyone else was – Uncle Rhodey, Aunt Pepper, Uncle Sam and Bucky, and whoever else had decided to show up – but he knew they were hanging around somewhere. There were always people everywhere in Avengers Tower.
“I’m sure I’ll be able to handle it,” Noah replied, and he sounded like he was smiling.
James loved it when he smiled.
“Well, don’t say I didn’t warn you,” he sighed, though he was smiling, now, too.
“I won’t,” Noah promised. “And I’ll still be there to hold your hand anyway.”
James gasped, faux-dramatic. “Wait… do you think they know we’re more than friends?”
Noah snorted. “Dork.”
James couldn’t help but grin. “I’ll see you in a few minutes, okay?”
“See you in a few,” Noah agreed, and then the line cut off.
James was still smiling as he locked his phone and slid it into his pocket. Knowing he probably looked like a fool, but not really finding himself too bothered by that, he pushed himself off the wall and wandered into the kitchen.
Dinner smelled great. Pops had suggested Italian food, and of course Dad had immediately seconded that idea, so a whole heap of pasta was boiling in a pot on the stove, and the heavenly smell of baking chicken parmigiana settled across the whole kitchen in heavenly waves.
“Hey, baby,” his Pops smiled from over by the stove, reaching out for a hug that James was only too happy to step into. “Is Noah on his way?”
“Yeah,” James nodded, resting his head momentarily on his Pops’ shoulder before stepping out of his embrace entirely. “He hit a little traffic, but he shouldn’t be too much longer.”
“Good,” his Dad chipped in, already pulling a mountain of plates from the cupboard, “because dinner is pretty much ready. Go get everyone sat at the table, would you?”
“Yes, sir,” James nodded.
He turned back to the living room, studiously ignoring Lily as she good-naturedly called, “And wipe the lovesick puppy look off your face! It doesn’t suit you!” as he went.
---
He had already given everyone the shovel-talk on his own behalf, because of course he had – he wasn’t stupid. His family each thought they were the funniest person alive, and fresh meat was a practical gold mine of friendly jibes and discreet-but-not-so-discreetly invasive questions.
He just wanted one dinner where nobody asked about his sex life, honestly.
“Okay,” he grunted, situating Runa on top of a pillow-clad chair at the table. “Happy?”
“I could’a done it,” she grumbled, already reaching for her fork – which James tactically plucked from her tiny fingers. “I’m almost five!”
James gasped, as though he didn’t know exactly how old she was and didn’t already have a mountain of presents stored in his wardrobe at home. “No way!”
“She is,” Leif told him seriously as he slipped into his seat on the opposite side of the table – also as though James didn’t know how old his niece was.
Kids.
“Well then – I guess you guys are going to be on your best behaviour, then, huh?” he hummed, absent-mindedly stroking Runa’s beautiful, braided hair. “Seeing how you’re basically grown-ups.”
Leif practically beamed at that, and sat up primly in his chair. “I can tie my laces – Daddy is teaching me how to tie all kinds of knots! And! Grandpa Tony showed me how to weld the other day –“
“Well gosh,” James rolled his eyes, because of course his Dad had showed welding to a seven-year-old. “Grandpa Tony sure doesn’t change, does he?”
“Why am I in trouble now?” his Dad asked, stepping through the door with a huge pot of heavenly smelling chicken in his oven-mitted hands. Behind him, Pops was lugging the pasta. “I hear my name, it’s usually never a good sign.”
“Leif was just telling me how you’ve been teaching him to weld,” James grinned.
“You’ve been doing what?” Pops gasped, turning to his husband quickly. “Tony, he’s seven.”
“And he asked,” his Dad replied defensively. “What was I supposed to do, Steve – not show him how to weld?”
“Yes! That is exactly what you were supposed to do -!”
“Oh, wow, look at that – dinner’s on the table,” his Dad called over his Pops, and James just grinned harder. “Everyone come sit down! Protect me from Grandpa Steve!”
Runa and Leif giggled, and pretty soon the room was packed full of family and friends. As James took his seat, he spotted his Dad lean in and peck his Pops on the lips, mouthing a sweet apology that had his Pops smiling reluctantly in seconds.
James hoped he ended up with someone who loved him as much as his Dad and Pops loved each other.
“Hello?” a familiar voice called suddenly from somewhere in the hall, and James sprang to his feet.
“In the dining room!” he called, even as he ducked through the door to meet Noah in the other room. “Hey.”
“Hey, yourself,” Noah smiled, leaning in for a kiss that James was only too happy to return.
“You’re late,” he hummed, but found he wasn’t angry in the slightest. “Dinner’s on the table.”
“Wow, when did you become such a housewife?” Noah laughed, handing his coat to James as he led him back towards the dining room.
“Excuse you,” James replied, throwing the coat onto a pile of others on a nearby armchair. “I am a domestic goddess.”
“I’d believe you if I didn’t have to constantly pick your underwear up off the bathroom floor –“ Noah started as they ducked back into the dining room, and then abruptly cut himself off. “Hey, everyone!”
A raucous chorus of hellos was thrown back, and James let out a sigh of relief. So far, so good.
While Noah went to shake his Dad and Pops’ hands, James took his seat beside Runa and ladled some chicken onto her plate. They weren’t a family of tradition by any means, so everyone was already tucking in by the time Noah took his seat on Runa’s other side.
“Uncle Noah?” Runa asked – quite unexpectedly – in a sweet voice. “Can you help me cut my chicken?”
James felt like he was about to spontaneously combust. A quick glance around the room told him that almost everyone had heard Runa call Noah Uncle for the very first time, if their smug grins and bright eyes were anything to go by. Noah, to his credit, just smiled warmly and leaned in to help.
“Of course I will, sweetheart.”
And that was that. The world didn’t end. Everyone – after staring at James for a very long time – went back to eating their dinner as though it was no big deal. Taking their lead, James picked up his fork with a slightly shaking hand and forced himself to eat, too.
---
“You’re freaking out.”
It was later, after everyone had finished the last scraps of dinner. While the rest of the party moved back to the living room to start some board games, James had volunteered himself and Noah to do the dishes. It was quiet in the kitchen, with only the occasional whoop or jeer drifting in from the other room.
“I am not,” he replied defensively, even though it was a complete lie. “Why would I be freaking out?”
He startled a little when Noah took the hand-towel from his grip, and realised he had been staring firmly at the plate he was drying. Swallowing hard, he looked up.
“Hey,” Noah hummed gently, and cupped James’s cheek. “Was it – is this too much? Are we going too fast?”
“No,” James gasped, horrified by the very thought. “No, no, that’s not it, I swear, I –“
“Then talk to me,” Noah murmured, stroking a gentle thumb across James’s cheek. “Because, right now, you’re the only one acting weird. Is it because Runa called me Uncle?”
“Well… yeah,” James sighed, and then immediately backtracked when Noah dropped the hand from his face like it had burned him. “No, no, I –“ he growled, frustrated. “I told you they could be a lot, and now it’s this thing, and –“
“Honey, wait,” Noah told him, and James immediately stopped talking. “James, do… do you think I’m the one freaking out here?”
“Of course you are!” James cried. “They’re always so intense, and I didn’t want to put that kind of pressure on you, and –“
“James, you are the biggest idiot in the world,” Noah cut over him, and James would have been offended if he wasn’t also inclined to agree.
“I’m sure you’re right,” he murmured, “but you’re going to have to walk me through it.”
Noah smiled, then, and James began to realise that he was missing something important.
“Honey, no offense, but you’re the one who’s always been a flight risk in this relationship,” he hummed, and James frowned. “You know I’m the monogamous type – it’s why it took me so long to agree to date you in the first place.”
“I…”
That actually made sense, James realised. He’d had a reputation, once, of sleeping with people and then never calling. He’d chased Noah for months before they’d finally fallen into a relationship. James had thought that Noah just didn’t feel as strongly as he did, but obviously he had been wrong about that, too.
“So, you’re… you’re not freaking out about being an uncle?” he asked in a small voice, and leaned in heavily when Noah pulled him into his arms.
“I love you so damn much,” Noah replied, dropping a kiss onto the side of James’s head. “No, I’m not freaking out. I love Runa and Leif. I love your family – I love that they think of me as family, too.”
“Oh,” James replied, starting to smile. “Okay.”
“Do you like them thinking of me as family?”
“You are my family,” James replied decisively, with no hesitation. “I want you to be part of my family.”
“Okay, then,” Noah nodded, smiling all the brighter. “So there’s no need to freak out, then, huh?”
“I guess not,” James grinned, and then leaned in to capture Noah’s lips. “I love you.”
“I love you, too,” Noah replied, pulling back reluctantly. “Now let’s finish these dishes. I don’t want to have to explain to Runa why her Uncles were making out, too.”
James couldn’t help but beam. Uncles. Maybe Noah really was in this for the long term, just like James was.
runa and santi have been together since they were teenagers, they eloped under the goddess Bato in a ~200 y/o elvis church after escaping their shitty families and robbing a gender clinic for testosterone.
they live in a van for a while travelling and robbing places before meeting that one character that i havent named yet 💀 and moving into the underground city to help with the Big Plans™
Friendly reminder that if Runa and Leif end up with mortal spouses they'll have to live through their deaths. And probably their childrens'. And Dorsteinn will have to live through all of them AND his wife and childrens'.
And he grabs them to make sure they’re safe, so there’s a bit of a delayed reaction, but then he rolls over backwards so they think they took him right off his feet.
