Home That Our Feet May Leave, But Not Our Hearts
Universe: Starbound CW: Swearing, deliberate tense switching Words: 3212 Context: Started for August's monthly prompt: "Home". Finished for the Woe, Cubes be Upon Ye Protectorate Event. Title is from The Poet at the Breakfast Table by Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr. Concrit welcome. Or read on AO3 Tag list (ask for +/-): @jacquesfindswritingandadvice, @writeblrsupport
Somewhere, an alarm is chirping incessantly. Mio pulls the covers up, trying to drown out the sound. "Cadet." The voice has an electronic cadence, devoid of emotion. "Cadet, wake up. I calculate a 99% chance that you will be late if you don't get up now." Mio throws the covers back. "SAIL?" "No. This is your other automated assistant, LIAS." The delivery is almost deadpan. "Oh, very funny," Mio replies, equally deadpan. "You know, I regret ever installing that sarcasm module. Just my luck it was unstable…" The air is the first thing she notices – it's fresh and clear, devoid of the synthetic smell recycled air carries. The light is bright and warm, reflecting off light grey and orange walls. Mio nictitates. "SAIL, what day is it?" SAIL's audio crackles as it plays a snippet from an old movie, "Why, it's Christmas Day!" "Ocean Tides, SAIL!" Mio runs a hand over her face. "Mio, are you unwell? Did you somehow forget today is your graduation day?"
Mio fumbles out of bed and stares at the room. "I think I'm dreaming…" The sunset postcard and hula girl Lonny got from xir sister. Goldwall's maintenance manuals next to Chian's trashy romance novels next to Mio's textbooks. Xilli's turtle plush, Fabian's guitar… It's all exactly as Mio remembers, right down to Chian's clothes spilling out of the drawers. Mio pulls the turtle plush off its shelf, crushing it against her chest. She can feel the soft pile, feel it tickle the membranes of her hands. It even has the little worn spot on the top of its paw that they all rubbed for luck or anxiety. Mio finds herself thumbing it even now. This doesn't feel like a dream, and yet… "SAIL, what the fuck is going on?"
"Mio, I am concerned. I know you have been looking forward to graduation day; however, I recommend you forgo the ceremony and instead get checked out by the medical team." "I feel fine, SAIL. I'm just…" Already the lines are blurring. "I'm confused. I had a dream? The craziest dream. The Protectorate was gone, the Earth was destroyed… I met Grand Protector Bright, and she had me collecting these relics…" Mio shakes her head. "Your vitals seem normal," SAIL says, though its tone is reluctant. "If you are to make Graduation, you must hurry." "Right." So Mio shakes off the remnants of her confusion and hurries. Bathroom ablutions are done in haste, her uniform – perfect from where it was laid out the night before – is donned, and she grabs a slice of cold toast Xilli has left out for her, chewing as she rushes through the halls.
Lonny is the first to see her. Xe waves and laughs as Mio is hustled in with her group. They may be Dorm B, but their outstanding performance means they graduate first. As a diplomat, Mio is their team leader and is hustled right to the front of the queue. "Anxious. Hurry, Mio. The ceremony is about to start," Goldwall says, nudging her through. "Why isss Mio sso late?" Chian hisses as Mio passes. "I had a bizarre dream. SAIL was this close to shocking me awake." Xilli clacks her beak. "Tell us about it later. Did you manage to eat something?" "Yes. I found the toast, thank you!" Xilli nuzzles Mio's fronds. "Someone's got to take care of our Captain." "Not Captain!" Fabian chuckles, his eyes dancing. "Not yet." Because they all know it's coming, Mio thinks as she stands proud at the front of the line, straightening her uniform. The six of them will be deployed to join an existing crew, and in a few years they'll get their own ship, and then she'll be Captain.
There's applause as Grand Protector Portia steps up to the podium and begins her speech. A sense of déjà vue floods over Mio, like she's heard these words before. "Today, in the name of peace," Portia is saying. Mio's stomach clenches, dread and fear rising. She shakes her head. "You okay?" Fabian whispers into her ear. "I feel strange," Mio whispers back. Fabian squeezes her shoulder. "It's just-" he starts, but a rumble interrupts him. "Huh?" Mio moves instinctively, like she's done this dance before. She spins, shoving Fabian hard. A chunk of concrete drops from the ceiling between them. "Mio!" "Run!" she screams back.
There is nowhere to go but the stage. Mio's running, scooping the Matter Manipulator up, even as Portia, wrapped in the huge tentacle of some giant beast, is shouting at her to run. She's chased down the corridors by screams and the noise of ripping infrastructure, and arrives on the shuttle pad as smaller tentacles worm their way through the building towards her.
SAIL guides her to a waiting hylotl ship, something she can reliably pilot, and she shoves the AI into the ship's waiting port. As Mio runs the start-up procedures, she can't help but wish Lonny was here next to her. Xe's a far better pilot than she is. Her heart twists. She left her crew. Her family. Her love. "Cadet, I have released the shuttle and plotted a route away from the planet. You may launch." Mio's hand wavers. "Mio. Launch." She hits the ignition, and they rise through the atmosphere. "Engaging FTL… Now!" In her haste, Mio has forgotten her seatbelt. She's slammed back into her seat, then forward. Her head hits the console, and everything goes dark.
–
Mio wakes with a start, jerking upright, and leaping away from a bed. "SAIL?" she calls, voice tight with panic "Good morning," comes the AI's modulated voice. "Where are we?" "Mio?" SAIL sounds worried. "You are in your dormitory at the Terrene Protectorate Academy." "But we-" Mio turns frantically. Golden light reflects off orange and white walls. "There was-" She pulls the turtle plush down from the shelf, crushing it against her chest and thumbing at the bare spot on its paw. "What the fuck?" "You were dreaming, Mio," SAIL says. "I was just about to wake you. If you do not hurry, you'll be late for your graduation." "The graduation!" Mio's eyes widen. "Tides, I have to warn them! Where's Grand Protector Portia?" "She's currently in her quarters. Mio, what are you talking about?" The turtle plush is thrown onto Xilli's bed as Mio runs out of the room, still in her PJs. "Get Fabian on comms. Tell him to grab the crew and our families and get to a shuttle now." "Mio, I understand the last term has been stressful for you-" "Damnit, SAIL! Just do it!"
Mio slides to a halt in front of the Grand Protector's quarters. Taking a breath, she straightens her pyjama top. From within comes Portia's muffled voice, "For over 500 years, we have stood honourably… No, no. We have stood proud…" Mio rings the bell, and the door hisses open. "Blast, is it time already?" Portia asks. Her white hair is neatly swept back, and her ceremonial uniform is missing the golden epaulettes. She's mistaken Mio for her escort. "Ma'am, no. I'm not here to take you to the ceremony. I'm here to take you to safety." "I beg your pardon?" "My name is Mio. I'm a final-year cadet. This will sound crazy, I'm sure, and I can't explain how I know, but we're going to be attacked." Mio swallows. "You'll say 'we welcome our newest compatriots, and present each of them with our greatest tool' and then a giant tentacle will kill you. Please, I must get you to safety." Portia waits for a second, then laughs. "I commend you, Cadet Mio. Usually, the pranks are after the ceremony. I think this is one for the history books." "Ma'am, please. This isn't a prank. Earth is going to be destroyed. I'm trying to warn you!" Portia gives Mio an indulgent smile. "Listen, Cadet. This is one of the more unique and inventive stories I've been given in my tenure as Grand Protector, so I applaud you for that. But I need to finish getting ready. Come and find me afterwards, eh?" Portia turns away, but Mio sticks her foot in the door. She knows she's not being very diplomatic, but the panic for what's going to happen seems to have robbed her good sense. "Ma'am," Mio says firmly. "There's not going to be an after if we don't act now!" "That's enough, Cadet." Portia has a shock weapon in her hand. Mio can already anticipate what's going to happen but knows she still has to try. She takes a step into the Grand Protector's quarters. "Ma'am, please-" Mio's whole body locks up, muscles frozen from the electrical discharge Portia's just struck her with. Mio hits the ground, and everything goes dark.
–
"Cadet. Cadet, wake up." Mio lies in the bed for a moment longer, ignoring the alarm, ignoring SAIL's prodding to rise. Her gaze flits over her surrounds – orange walls, warm sunlight, yellow bedspread – and she sighs. "Hush, SAIL. I'm getting up," Mio says. Mio dresses, eats both slices of the cold toast, and rubs the turtle plush's paw. "It is quite impressive that you can remain so serene when you are running so late. Well done you," SAIL says. Mio says nothing in response, only gives a grim little smile as she exits the dormitory.
"Mio, where are you going?" SAIL says. "The main hall is in the other direction." "I know. Please get Fabian on comms. Tell him to round up the crew and our families, and get them to a shuttle immediately." Mio runs a fond hand over the orange panelling. "Tell him I'm sorry, I won't be joining them." "The message has been sent. Mio, I am concerned. It is unlike you to behave so irrationally." Mio stops at a door, and prises off the keypad's face, fiddling with its innards as Chian taught her. "If something happens once, that's a fluke," she says to SAIL, as she works on the lock mechanism. "If it happens a second time, it's a coincidence. But once something happens a third time, it's a pattern. Agreed?" "Agreed," comes SAIL's cautious assessment. "Then I'm stuck in some kind of time loop. In just under an hour, an eldritch creature is going to obliterate Earth. I don't know why or how this is happening to me, but I've got a chance to stop the beast, so I'm going to take it."
The door hisses open and lights flicker on as Mio walks into a room filled with stacks of weapons and munitions. She walks directly to a cage in the back and picks the lock. "Mio, are you sure you didn't just have a dream?" Mio snorts as she finds what she's looking for – a monstrosity in black and shiny grey. "Yes, SAIL, I had a dream. My dream was to graduate with my friends. To go to the afterparty and introduce my girlfriend to my parents. To have my mother be proud of me. "My dream was to go into space with the people I've spent the last four years training with, to lead them to bold new horizons and share their adventures. "Instead, I end up stranded, Tides' knows where, on a dead ship, all alone. My home, destroyed. Everyone I cared about, murdered. I had to claw my life back, block by block." Mio shoulders the rocket launcher. "The Ruin destroyed my dream. The fuck am I letting it happen again."
It takes longer than Mio would like to get up to the hatch beside the Hall's dome, and many strange looks, but she pulls on the harness, hooks herself onto the safety rail, and starts the climb. The dome is the highest place on the Academy campus. She only knows how to get up here because Whip brought her one morning to watch the sunrise. It had been magical – the golden sunlight glittering off the Thames, turning it into a ribbon of molten gold, and Whip's warm arm around her, protecting her from the wind. The city, unblemished, spreads out before her now, as Mio sets up the rocket launcher. There're no strong, warm arms this time to protect her from the racing wind, and she has to brace herself against the safety rail. SAIL has long since stopped complaining; she can only hope it hasn't sent for Security forces.
The Ruin appears in the blink of an eye. One moment all is serene – the next, the sky is filled with smoke, debris and banded purple tentacles. Through the darkness, Mio sees the glint of something vast and yellow. She aims and fires the rocket launcher. There is an unholy screech. Thick tentacles reach out for her, but she fires again, blasting them apart. The dome shakes. Mio loses her footing. She drops the Ex Machina and watches it skitter away. Something strikes her back. Mio feels the taut safety line snap, and she's plunging towards the edge of the dome. She falls, and everything goes black.
–
An alarm chirps. "Cadet-" "Fuck off, SAIL," Mio says, rolling over. "I'm sick."
An hour later, the building shakes. Mio is knocked out of bed. Goldwall's toolbox falls off a shelf and hits her on the head. Everything goes dark.
–
"Cadet-" "I had a dream that told me not to graduate today," Mio tells SAIL before it can get any further chivvying her awake. She dresses, eats her toast, and tidies the dormitory. As she's putting Chian's clothes away, Mio smiles, thinking of Freya's tendency to drop her clothes wherever.
Mio takes her time strolling down the corridor, chatting to the graduate students. She fixes the vending machine using a trick Nobu taught her, helps the janitor clear the walkway of blossoms – not unlike sweeping flour from Sparkfoot's galley – and sits under the tree, listening to the second-year recite poetry that reminds her of Sakura's. Mio stays on the bench after the second-year leaves, admiring the view and thinking that Kata would like the wind chimes. Then the beast comes. The tree is uprooted, and a falling branch knocks her unconscious.
–
The alarm that woke her was the warning blare of defective machinery. Rather than 'Cadet', SAIL was crying, "Captain! Captain!" The air that greeted her nose was stale, her vision wavering and tinted green as she stared through the darkness at the orange shape flitting distantly. Mio twisted, looking around, trying to figure out where she was. Another flicker, white this time, and closer too. "She's waking up! Get her out of there!" "The mechanism's bust. We'll need to get her out manually." The voices were muted, as if coming through thick glass, or water. Mio nictitated. She pressed her hands against a wall of glass. A tank? Why, by the Ocean Tides, was she in a tank? "Guys!" "I'll do it." Another figure resolved out of the wavering darkness, unmistakably a hylotl by their cyan and lavender markings. Their webbed hands and feet clung to the outside of the tank as they climbed it. Metal reverberated against metal, making the tank shake. Mio gripped the walls, fearful of ending up crushed and cut. But the tank didn't fall. The top was removed, and the other hylotl slid in with her. «Leader,» said the hylotl. Mio nictitated. It had been so long since she'd heard the underwater language, that she struggled to understand them for a moment. «What this?» Mio asked. «Rescue.» The hylotl smiled, achingly familiar. Mio was sure she knew this one, but like spume in a storm, their name escaped her. «Hold still. Many points to remove.» «Points?» The hylotl reached up to her head and pulled something off Mio's scalp. Mio screamed, the tank fluid filling with bubbles as she fought to get away from the searing pain. «Leader, leader, wait,» the other tried to soothe. «No! Pain! Pain!» The other launched themself up, leaning over the top of the tank. "Fife, do you have something that can help?" "Try this." The one in white hands a tube of something to the other. "It's a cream that should make the electrodes come off easier."
Mio's mind whirled as the other hylotl massaged the cream into her fronds, lifting the electrodes from her skull. Fife… Fife is a medic. Fife is her medic. The orange blob resolved itself into the form of an avian… Xictli, Mio's second in command. That makes the hylotl… «Youko.» It's not possible to whisper underwater, so zir attention was on her instantly. «Yes?» Mio nictitated. «Nothing. Continue.» As ze went back to the business of freeing Mio from whatever contraption she'd fallen into, Mio can't help but feel a fluttering in her chest. This is her crew. Her family. They came to rescue her, to take her back to her ship, which she captains. Mio put a hand to her head. Her memories are all so jumbled.
Finally, Youko was done. Ze helped her from the tank and into Xictli and Fife's waiting arms. "What happened?" Mio asked as Fife looked her over. "Your last reported position was just outside this facility." SAIL's words were perfunctory, but its tone was fretful. "You declared your intent to investigate an abandoned apex research facility and shortly afterwards your comms died. I waited three hours, planet time, per our standard procedure, then alerted the crew to your disappearance." "When we arrived," Xictli said, "the place was not as abandoned as expected. We can only surmise you were taken by surprise, captured, and put in this… contraption. I'm sorry it took us so long to find you." "How long?" "A few days." "I can see your vitals are stable," SAIL said, "and aside from some malnutrition, you have no outward signs of injury. Doctor, do you concur?" "I'll do a full diagnostic back on the ship," Fife said. "But from initial evidence, I concur. How do you feel?" Mio opened her mouth, then shut it again and shook her head. "That's fine," Fife said. "It's alright to be confused. I can't imagine what they were doing to you." Yon smiled gently. "Let's get you back home." Mio recoiled. "What?" "To… to the ship?" Fife frowned and glanced at Xictli. "I'm going to need a full workup on what that machine was doing." Xictli ground her beak, hands curling into fists. "I'll bring a team back down after the Captain is safe." Mio closed her eyes briefly. "The base is Miniknog. It's thought reassignment R&D. What-" Her voice stuck in her throat. "What was the programme set to?" Xictli and Youko shared a look. "To assess the subject's perception of 'Home'," Xictli said. Mio nictitated rapidly, flaring her gills. "Of course it fucking was," she said with a choked laugh.
As they rose through the floors of the underground lab, Mio watched her team work on her extraction. They might not be the crew she thought she'd have, and they may not have been the ones she wanted. Nonetheless, they were her crew, the ones she'd chosen, bit by bit. She cared for them – shared their adventures, their triumphs and tribulations. They had, she realised, become as much of a family as her first crew; and her ship as much of a home as the Terrene Protectorate.
